Just A Game

8. Move

"I feel like I'm overemotional as a person" My words clung at my own heart. It was hard admitting this too myself let alone to somebody else, my therapist. Yes I have a therapist now. Every day of every week I go there Friday through Sunday are optional. Well, all appointments are optional but my parents are making it mandatory. I've been seeing Julie for over three weeks now. At first I dreaded coming here each day, I still do but over time it's gotten easier. Mrs. Draper who allows me to call her Julie knows the basics about me. She knows I have no friends, no love life and no motivation to do anything. She wants me to change at least 1/3 of those things by the end of the school year but if I don't it would be ok. I've only just opened up to her about how I felt about myself now.

"When did you start feeling that way?" She asked. I was dazzled at how easy it was for her to slip it out of me. She had never asked me how I felt about myself as a person before, this is the first time but I didn't think I'd let it out that easy. I wanted to say it since day one but I couldn't openly admit it however, since she asked, I'm like "wow, I'm going to tell her". Crazy, i thought. I guess it's because of the relationship I've built with her these past three weeks. She makes me feel like there's someone in this world I can actually rely on.

"The last night I saw Chase" I stated with a blank expression on my face. I stared at the ceiling and its boring neutral color. I was lying across a midnight black colored couch with my head on a soft fluffy pillow. The room was cold but confessing how I felt was making me flustered giving me lots of body heat.

"And what exactly happened that night?" She inquired. I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes and she was no longer writing. In fact, she had her pen on top of her clipboard placed on the left side of her on the small desk. Her legs were crossed and she looked at me with genuine interest. I gulped feeling like the air in the room was being vacuumed away.

"How was your day at school today?" Julie changed the topic knowingly. I wasn't going to answer and she accepted it.

"Lonely" I focused my eyes back on the ceiling, my face turning cold. I felt all the blood drain from my cheeks as I remembered yet another day of being a loner in school.

What happened to Drea and Kurt? You're probably wondering.

Well Drea and Kurt are dead. Just kidding.

"What did you have for lunch?" She asked.

"Skipped it" I mumbled fiddling with the buttons on my sweater.

"Were you hungry?"

"I still am" I chuckled falsely.

"Then why'd you skip it?" She asked. I heard rummaging so I flickered my eyes towards Julie. She had a bunch of green grapes in a zip lock and she handed them to me. I took it with hesitation before unzipping the bag and popping some grapes into my mouth. Skipping lunch and missing dinner sucks.

"It gets tiring being around the same crowd" I replied simply.

"I see, well how are your grades?" The same question my mom asks me every time were alone.

"Decent"

"Decent as in...?"

"Bad" I sighed frustrated. Ever since that day I snapped on him and he went crazy, he's been failing me. It isn't fair because I do his work probably not as perfect as I used to but all he does is put down F's.

"Is it Mr. M?" She questions.

"Maybe"

"Hmm, I'll make sure to have a word with him" Oh joy. "But it's nine at night, do you wish me to drive you home?"