Hermitcraft oneshots

Useless

TW; suicidal thoughts, sh, degrading (please let me know if there is more, I'm to lazy to read through my story to find out)
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                              [No one's POV]

Grian seemed like a kind little soul, but in reality there was a lot of trauma trapped inside of him.

He would never talk about how mentally and physically hurt he was from his past. He knew it would be to much to handle for any hermit to know who he really is and how he's really doing, it was very traumatizing, let's just say that. Life in his past was hard for him, but also now he wasn't doing good. He would hurt himself occasionally every week in many different ways, for example; cutting, burning, overdosing/potioning himself and even scratch his skin until he was bleeding if he didn't have the option to any of the other ways. As previously said, no one knows about this secret within Grian and that's why he needs to act happy and positive around the hermits so no one would get an idea of his depressing life.
The only thing that made Grian genuinely happy was Scar, whenever he was with him they would actually live up to his name; "GoodTimesWithScar" and have a great time with each other. He didn't know what feeling he had towards Scar though, when they first met in season 6 Grian loved his clumsiness and how he would die every minute but eventually Grian took more notice of his face features and noticed how good-looking Scar actually looked, which of course made him question his feeling towards Scar. But it doesn't end there tough, when they got moved into double life by the watchers, god he hated those damn watchers, much of his trauma came from those evil creatures and yet they tend to go into his life like nothing has happened, anyway, Grian got paired up with Scar in double life which meant they were soulmates, of course Grian had thought this was pretty bad at first since Scar always died and he would probably make them lose all their lives first meaning they would be out of the series, but Grian actually enjoyed Scars presence around him and it resulted in not having suicidal thoughts for a while which was such an good feeling to have, especially when you've had them since you were in your teenage years.

But now, In the present time Grian was pretty sure he was in love with Scar, nobody knows this of course but it may be obvious by the blushing Grian would have on his face while being with Scar. Scar had no reason to love him back though, Grian was just an ugly annoying maggot who was useless in everything and had no point in life In his opinion. Is there any chance Scar would have the same feelings towards the little avian like he does? Probably not, but Scar was the reason he was still alive so he wouldn't want to destroy their friendship by asking him out - like he would have the courage to do so anyway- .

Grian was in his base looking at himself in the mirror, making notice of all the things he hated about himself and realizing how ugly he really was, no one would date him! Grian was confused in why anyone would even hang out with him, his personality was the worst, everyone probably thought he was disgusting and that they only laughed at his jokes to make him feel better about himself.  It didn't matter though, his whole personality was fake anyways

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At this point Grian was crying on the floor with his knees pressed against his chest and holding his face in his small hands. No one cares about him not even he cares about himself, he's useless to everyone, it didn't matter if one hermit disappeared, right? They would probably not even notice, he feels invisible around them but to be fair he's actually one of the hermits who gets the most attention by acting so happy and giving out positive comments to others, but in reality that's just so he doesn't get asked if he's doing alright, - if he acted happy no one would suspect him being suicidal- . Grian just continued to cry with his negative thoughts storming in his brain not expecting to see Scar opening the door a moment later.

                                [Scar POV]

I was on my way to Grian's sweet little hobbit hole to ask him if he wanted to hang out not expecting to see him crying on the floor right inside the door.

I just stood there for a second processing what was happening, Grian was always happy around others and didn't leave any signs of dark days according to the other hermits, why was he crying? I guess you can have bad days once in a while, there's nothing wrong with that.

I quickly came back to my senses and dropped down on my knees beside him. "Gri! Are you okay?" I asked worried.

He paused to look up at me, there was a shade of red around his eyes and nose signing he had been crying for a while.

He sniffled his nose, "..T-to be honest..no, I'm not doing so good.." he muttered quietly clearly ashamed that he was caught crying by me.

"What's wrong then? Do you wanna talk?" I said as soft toned I could, I want to comfort Grian with all my heart, I can't handle him being sad.

He looked down again. "..I feel useless Scar" he answered "..and I'm not doing so good in general either, I've been..suicidal for several years, a-..and I still am.."

I was quite shocked, I would've never though Grian was suicidal of how he acts around people..but I guess he's quite good at hiding emotions and feelings.. "O-oh my god Grian, I'm sorry I didn't help you before this..what's causing this..?"

"I..-I have a lot of trauma from my past..I don't want to talk about it though, I'm probably gonna have an panic attack if I do" he said quickly continuing his sentence, "and I don't feel like anyone loves me..I'm such an ugly little brat, I would understand if you don't love me..i don't even love myself."

"Grian i love you! And every other hermit also does, we all care for you and your not ugly as well, your a pretty little pesky bird that anyone would love at first sight!"

"..I don't know.."

"It's true!"

"I..- can we just cuddle..? I wanna sleep and not think about this.."

"Hey, of course, but please talk to me when your having a hard time" I answered "promise?"

"..Promise" he whispered as he laid his head in my lap closing his eyes, he looked peaceful. I was still wondering about what could've been so bad in his past that he was still affected by it, but I didn't want to interrupt him now, it seems like he's been crying for at least a hour so it's best to just let him rest In this state.

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Hope you guys liked this one, I could've added more to this story but I'm to lazy to do anymore! :p

Words: 1199