WHO ARE YOU?

Chapter Thirteen

I jumped out of my sleep breathing heavily as I used my left hand to wipe the sweat off my forehead. I looked around and noticed I wasn't in my bedroom which threw me off guard. By the looks of sports hats and the naked posters of models on the wall. I knew I was most definitely in a male comfort zone. I tried to sit up, but the sharp pain I felt didn't allow me to do so.

"Oh lord." I said to myself as I laid my head back down on the pillow closing my eyes.

" Stop trying to get up and just relax." I heard someone say.

My eyes shot open and I met eyes with Tyler.

" Tyler what's going on? Why am I in so much pain and how did I get in your bed?" I asked, confused as I looked around.

" You don't remember anything huh?" He asked , staring over me.

" The night of your birthday. I had to rush you to the hospital because your mom did some nut shit." He said, taking a seat at the edge of the bed.

I laid there and thought for a second. I couldn't remember everything, It was a blur. I did remember the constant kicks she did to my body.

" Oh my gosh." I said, as I put my hands on my stomach.

The look on Tyler's face already confirmed my worries.

" The baby didn't make it. You miscarried." He said back to me.

" Wow, are you serious?" I said as I covered my mouth in shock.

I knew I didn't want the baby at first, but part of me was thinking about reconsidering. I always felt like I had nothing to live for. Maybe this baby could've been the blessing I needed. To know longer feel alone and also to know the  feeling of being loved unconditionally by someone. I never wanted to lose my baby in this tragic way. This shit was hurting me more than I thought.

" Yea. The DR said, due to the constant Kicks your mom did, She damaged the baby pretty badly.  She also said you were almost three months ." He explained to me.

I laid there as tears fell from my eyes. I wasnt only sad about the baby, but sad at the fact my mother was so cruel and a fucked up individual. I cried at the pain my body felt and the pain that I felt in my chest. I cried for the women that's currently going through what I am going through and for the ones that have no way out. At this point a loud shrieking sound left my lips and I was now balling my eyes out as I lifted my hands to cover my face.

I felt the bed move as Tyler grabbed me and laid me on his chest. He rubbed my back as I continued to let my emotions flow. I was hurt at the fact that I didn't have a mother that loved me. I was hurt that I had to go through all this pain when all I wanted was real love and stability. I hated my life so badly and was ready to end it all.

" I have to use the bathroom." I said as I wiped my face and sat up.

" Okay. I'll be right here when you get back." Tyler said, in a low tone.

I got up and slowly walked towards the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I looked in the mirror at the women that stood in front of me. She was damaged with an empty soul. She didn't have anything left in her body to give or fight for and all that hope she was starting to have is now completely gone. I ran a hot bath and watched it fill up a little past half way. I stripped out my clothes and got into the tub.

I laid my head back enjoying the feeling of the hot water relaxing my aching body. I said a small prayer before I slid my body in the tub letting the water cover my full body and face. I didn't want to live this life anymore and today I was going to make sure I ended it once and for all.