WHO ARE YOU?

Chapter Five

It's been one week since all that chaos happened. I'm currently sitting in the waiting area at my therapist office, waiting to be called back. Within the week that passed , my mom returned home three days later after that day. She didn't really have any words for me. I often heard her crying in her room a lot and when I would check on her, she would yell and tell me to get away from her door. I eventually gave up trying and left her alone.

I wasn't supposed to have a therapy appointment until next week, but I really needed it, so they squeezed me in today. Jade also called me the day my mom returned. I was surprised to hear from her. She still hasn't been coming to school and when I was reaching out to her, she didn't respond all week. When we did talk, she apologized for her attitude and disappearance and asked me to forgive her. I told her I wasn't mad, I was just worried. She reassured me that things were okay and she was just sick, but I knew something was up.

"Gabrielle, you can come back." My therapist's assistance called out.

I got up and headed towards Ms Tanya's office. When I walked in, she was already sitting in the chair waiting on me with her legs crossed and a pen and notebook in her hand.

"Hello Gabrielle, you can come in and have a seat."

I walked over, took my jacket off and took a seat across from her.

" So how are you feeling today?" she asked, looking at me.

" I'm feeling good today. Better than the previous days. I admitted.

" Do you want to talk about it?" She asked me.

I was contemplating on if I wanted to tell her everything or leave out some parts. I decided to tell her about Jay , Instead of mentioning my mom's situation. I didn't want to bring any attention to my house. I'll soon be eighteen anyway and plan on going to college, hopefully.

" Well I lost my virginity." I said in a low voice.

" Alright, why do you sound so down about it? " It wasn't forcefully taken from you, was it?" She asked me.

" Oh no, it wasn't. I just feel ashamed with how it happened.

" Okay , explain why you feel that way." she said back to me.

" Okay well , I was having a vulnerable moment and I decided to lose my virginity to my high school crush. This was my first time spending quality time with him and now , part of me feels like I should have waited. It wasn't pleasurable at all and it was a waste of four minutes." I explained to her.

" Why do you really think you did it?" I know you mentioned that you were vulnerable, but I feel like it's more to it."

" Honestly I enjoyed the feeling of getting attention. The feeling of someone complimenting me and having interest in me. Getting those things from Jay made me feel really good. A feeling ive never felt before, but now that I'm thinking about it, I feel like that's all he really wanted because he dismissed me right after." I said as tears formed in my eyes.

" Listen to me, a woman's virginity should be treated with care. What I mean by that is, not just anybody deserves to share that special moment with you . Boys/men have no emotion afterwards, they can continue to live their lives, but us women, we wear our emotions on our sleeves and have to live with the decision we made. That moment is not just any normal day for us. That day can change your life in many different ways.

I nodded my head, as she continued.

" It's too late to change what already happened. Just continue to live your life and think long and hard before you make decisions. Remember that the decisions you're making now, can affect your future, rather it's a good or bad decision that you would encounter . Don't seek love in the wrong places sweetheart. No one can love you the way you can love yourself."