WHO ARE YOU?

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Betty POV

I sat on the couch thinking about how my life has gotten to this point. How I got addicted to drugs, lost my marriage, about to lose my house and almost killed my one and only child. 

“My beautiful Gabriele.” I said to myself as tears slid down both my cheeks. 

I’ve been sitting on this couch for three hours now staring at a picture of Gabriele when she was just a baby. I love my baby girl so much, but I just have a hard way of showing it. My parents never showed me how it felt to be loved and taken care of. My daddy used to beat my mom until she was bloody and cheated on her day in and day out. My mother constantly took her hurt out on me and eventually turned to drugs to cope with her issues. Now that I think about it, I feel like I'm a split image of that devil.

I got pregnant with Gabby at age twenty three and of course she made my life a living hell once she found out. I was old enough to be out on my own, but I had no job or money to survive out here. I didnt even graduate high school so I pretty much was a failure. My life growing up was completely horrible and my mother never treated me like I was her daughter, but more so like a doormat that she constantly stepped on. Every time my dad was away at work my mom used to take me to different motels and force me to have sex with different men. She’ll take the money that I made and use it to support her habit. 

I used to have sex with so many men and no matter how much I tried to fight against it, It never worked. My mother even gave them permission to beat on me if I kept resisting. I was only sixteen years old. My parents didn't care if I was in school or running the streets because they had more important things to focus on. Surprisingly my father was always so nice to me compared to how he was with my mother, I always thought he'd eventually start beating on me so I always hid everytime he got home because I feared him. 

I dislike Gabriele at times because I feel like she's the reason her father left me in the first place.  She was always a daddy's little girl. Robert used to always yell at me and say

“ I'M NOT ABOUT TO KEEP ARGUING WITH YOU IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER.” 

Or he’ll say 

“ MY DAUGHTER DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.”

I guess him leaving was his way of giving her a better lifestyle. Him leaving is one of the reasons I turned to drinking a lot and recently into hard drugs. Mixed with the hurt and pain I still feel from my parents. When my mom found out I was pregnant she said I was useless now and kicked me out on the streets at four months pregnant. She kicked me out on the streets with no clothes or shoes on my feet. I was homeless and had nothing. 

After walking around what seems like circles I decided to put my pride aside and call Robert. I met Robert a couple weeks ago at the park around the corner from my house. He was a sweet talker and made me feel safe. He invited me over to his house and I had sex with him the first night. My stupid ass should have used protection because I couldn't afford to get pregnant and plus with all that sex I was giving these random men, I could have easily given him something he couldn't get rid of. 

When I called Robert crying and told him I was carrying his baby, he opened up his door for me with open arms. I knew back then this wasn't Robert's baby, but that man had money and I needed someone with money to take care of Gabby and I. Robert and I started a great life together and he treated me like a queen. He gave me the love I never had and I appreciated him for it. Then he started working double shifts and late nights closer to me having Gabrielle. He always said we needed the extra money. The loneliness had me start thinking he wasn't really working at times and was out messing around on me. I became angry and bitter because I refused to go through what my mom went through with my dad. First it's the cheating and then they start putting their hands on you.