One and only

chapter 48 ~ letter

It's been a week since I told Grey about my past, he didn't react the way I thought he would

I thought he would say how sorry he is that it happened to me or something like that, no, he held me, he was hugging me so tight like he never wanted to let go off me

"why do you like looking at stars"

"they are so pretty; they shine without a reason" I answers "what about you"

"I like sun" Greys says

"why"

"I don't know, it makes you warm and without it everything will come to the end"

We act like the talk never happened at my birthday which I'm thankful for, I been thinking about it a lot when I got home

I started to search for it the letter

Flashback

I quickly got back home, I hear Greys car drive off after I went inside, usually I would want to cry after telling what happened to me, type betrayal the amount of tears and scars I went through

But then I realized that all those tears and scars are the reason I am not the same, reason how I meet new friends and made memories with them

I was so obsessed about past about what people are actable of doing that I have forgotten that the there is future and if I didn't let go off of my past, no matter how many new memories I will make with new people

Old mammies won't be buried under new ones if I won't stop been obsessed over it

I get on my knees and search for the letter that I have been kept after all those years

I now am holding I, it's all dusty, I haven't touched it past two -three years after the day I wrote it and after the day decided not to send it

I unwrap it and started to read

~I heard you guys are moving, I'm glad even tho I wish I will never see you again I think I will miss you forever, even after everything that happened I love you Alex but you're not mine. I would have never thought about how that day would have been the last time I'll ever speak with you, that we would have this kind of conversation ever. All the moments we shared, gone. My brain won't turn off so I lay here overthinking what could have been that made you or Caroline do such a thing to me, all those years of 'friendship' was it all a lie? But it doesn't matter anymore I think the answer will break my heart even more if there is anything left to brake, you always told me that I was your one and only but look where we are now

Maybe I was your one but definitely not your only~

I read it, expecting tears or speed up heart rate but in exchange I got nothing

I smiled at myself being proud

I read it couple of more times and still

No emotions or thoughts

No tears

No speed hears rate

Nothing but me, my future and two persons that made me realize that I am the way I am and I am enough, scars and scars of my past are nothing and that there is future where I am happy

Alone or not

Now that is on me from now on

End of flashback

"Grey"

"yes Bella"

"do you remember when I described Alex's love as an ocean" he tensed and nodded yes

"now that I look at it, he was like an ocean because he was downing me in his lies but-" I stopped for a moment feeling embarrassed

"but what"

"but with you, you make me feel like star" I sigh "I love how you make me feel when i'm with you and how you think of me even though there are similar girls like me"

"Bella, in the whole universe there's no stars that are alike"

"and it might be same with appearance but it's not what matters, because this " he taps on my head "isn't the same, and that's what i actually want."