The Brain is Never at Rest

15

I should have known that the best way to find out if someone was lying was by looking through their eyes. I thought that the things I did were enough to please you - to keep you from slipping away from my zone. But when I catch you staring at me, I knew I saw changing seasons.

Summer was when I first met you. Younger than we are now, we both welcomed this feeling that seemed sincere and authentic. I let you see my haven when I allowed you to read my favorite book. I swore to be your comrade - through thick and thin and warms and blues.

Fall came, and the connection keeps on getting stronger. Every pinky swears and cautious whisper follows a strange feeling of wanting more than sub rosa affiliations. I started imagining us kissing, hugging, going through endless driving, pleading, and praying - I always wanted to have more than friendship.

Winter came so fast; I failed to savor what we started. I took the risk and told you everything I have been keeping to myself. I remember how my dreams instantly came true like a story threaded by the heavens. We kissed. I remember how we passionately kissed. I remember how the full-bloomed moon shone on us like a paid spotlight.

Spring came, and it made me wonder how immense the change was. Was it in the way you touched me? Or in the way you talked? Maybe it was when you said, "baby, I am tired," when you tried to avoid all the talks. Everything went from being too high to a crestfallen drop on the empty 6th road.

Though I admit there is one thing that never changed - it was how you look into my eyes. And I thought that maybe there was hope, a sign from my angel that everything would go fine as gold.

I convincedmyself already that your eyes are the only lies I was willing to accept. Ormaybe I should not have done that? Was I under the influence of something elsewhen I saw how your eyes glistened when you looked at her? Or are you justfeeding yourself with helpless dodging of the guilt you're supposed to feel ifI did not take another jump for another risk?