If the phrase 'I love you' never existed, I worry that I may not be able to tell you how much you mean the world to me. I love you is not a word I effortlessly mention to people. I was good at gatekeeping it because I knew how huge a responsibility would be once you say those words to someone.
But if it never existed, is there even a way for me to say that I adore you more than you think or expect? Because if 'I love you' never existed, I would still wake up early in the morning to prepare breakfast. I will cook fried rice and make the sugarless coffee you always request. I knew you would always rush to run towards the door, so I set the alarm one hour early to give you enough time to fix yourself and prepare the things you need. You are never a fan of cold baths at 5 AM, so I already prepared warm water to make your early bath more comfortable and bearable.
If 'I love you' never existed, I will still patiently wait until I see you enter the door of this house. I might take a nap while waiting, but you can always tap me to wake me up as you would always do. I will ask you if you have eaten, and if you say no, I will prepare your dinner even if it's already late in the evening. I would ask how your day went, listen to your stories, laugh at your funny experiences in the office, and I will not assume you're fine just because you look like it. You can always lean on my shoulders if you need to. You can always come to me and ask for a hug if you need to. You can always run to me if you want to.
If 'I love you' never existed, it does not mean I don't have anything else to say. I could still laugh and cry with you. I could still watch your favorite movies with you. I could still sing your favorite songs whenever you want to. I could still lie beside you, keep you calm and warm; to make you feel safe from any harm – because I am your home.
That's how I would say I'm crazy over you without even saying I love you.
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The Brain is Never at Rest
PoetryHi. This is a collection of the pieces I wrote for the past years. If some of these sounded or looked familiar, it's because I've posted them in another account I used to go by. Thank you for taking the time to read my work! I hope you'll have a fu...
