The Brain is Never at Rest

28

How could you ever forget someone that was never yours?

The question has lingered in my mind for quite some time. As I looked at the night sky, I started asking myself questions I had never thought I would be asking until today. My mind is in a complete state of chaos after falling for someone who will never reciprocate. I never thought that things would come to this point.

But if someone would ask me if I ever had regrets of liking him, of allowing myself to be devoured by his divinity, of letting myself catch feelings and freely follow the fall that even gravity would find hard to compete - there were none. There were no regrets or troubling feelings. It always feels as if falling for him was the best of all decisions I committed to.

It is just that the happiness I feel could never be complete because he is not bound to be mine.

Denying that I never feel pained by that fact would be the same as forcing oil to mix with water. If you ask me why I did not run away the moment I started feeling butterflies inside my system, you would never believe me if I said I did. I did my best to run away but ended up running in circles. One day, I feel as if I am drifting away. The next, I go back to being stuck as if I never made any progress. People would probably call me stupid, but if choosing to love you unconditionally would define the term stupidity, so be it.

I could have escaped, but I failed to find an exit. The truth is, I chose to not find the exit way because I never wanted to leave.

That is the truth.

I do not expect anything else because one day, you will find happiness with somebody else. I have been bracing myself for that moment, but I know that there will be moments that only I and the hands of the pendulum will share and understand. There will be words that shall remain on the sheets of these pages, the ones I never dared to spill and articulate. There will be songs left unheard and playlists that will remain unused because I could not stand to listen to the songs that will remind me of how unforgettable it was to admire you.

How do you forget someone who was never yours? Maybe you could never.

And the best thing to do is to let them wander inside your head until your mind gets used to their existence. Until you do not desire to keep them anymore - until it is you who gives up on the chase and chooses to venture on whatever or wherever life would take the two of you.

You can never forget someone who was never yours.

It would be a huge mistake to forget the person that made it possible for you to believe in the magic of love.