The Brain is Never at Rest

32

It made me think that the illuminating moon is insane; it is perfect for a short waltz on the streetside. I have always wondered about the feeling of dancing under the frivolous night sky. I cannot believe that I am about to experience it. Often, I question the possibility of finding someone who perfectly fits the person that I am.

I am stubborn and childish. There were some moments where I acted irrationally and decided impulsively. I laugh at pressing times and get a little sensitive with random jokes. I am emotional; I easily cry, and I find it very annoying; I already foresee my special someone heaving a deep sigh. It will be demanding to understand my mood swings. One minute, I am fine. The next, I am seated in one corner, unable to understand all the emotions that unreasonably battle inside my mind. I am a complicated person; I quickly lose interest in various things. It is easy for me to loosen my grip and immediately prepare myself to fall out, already drafting an escape route not to save me but to save those pitiful people who only wished me good things.

But you stayed. And I did not even ask you to.

I always see you in front of the house's gate, waiting for my return. It is so magical that sometimes, the possibility of losing those magic scares me to death. You stayed when I told you that I could stab you a hundred times with the kind of attitude I have. You said, "it does not matter; I want to be with you." I thought to myself, "wasn't that suicide?" But for a reason, I have become cautious not to hurt you. I was stubborn and childish, but to you, I immediately listened. I was irrational and impulsive, but when it is about you, I am a little careful. I was emotional, it was excruciating to understand me, but I wanted to be readable for you. I want you to understand everything about me; those that mattered and those that did not. I immediately lose interest in many things, but with you, each one is exciting. Regardless of how many times you threw the same puns, went to the same place together, or how frequently we ate your favorite food – it always felt new.

Most of all, I was insecure, and my personality can be a little questionable, yet you stayed.

Of all the eyes that looked at me with judgment, yours is the only pair of eyes I would spend my entire life finding. You see the beautiful things about me that I thought never existed. You catch sight of what ordinary people fail to perceive; it is very unusual to find someone who makes it easy for you to understand your plot twists. You made me see the ups and downs differently, of not considering rejections as the end because it only means something new is bound to happen. Of how being sad or mad is a normal thing and not a sin. You made me see life through a kaleidoscope, and now I know I am more loved than I thought I would be.

So, I take this chance to waltz with you under the moonlight. I would love to show you how the beats of our pounding hearts are enough to make a rhythm and jive that would match this perfect night.

Your love was enough for me to build the person I am today, someone who is more than willing to spend the rest of her life until eternity with someone who loved her at worst and continued loving her even when she is between being the best and being the worst.