The Brain is Never at Rest

29

One of the happiest moments in my life was crossing paths with a stubborn individual who shared more than half of the favorite things I could not allow myself not to do or experience.

The nights I used to combat the sad hours transformed into moments filled with laughter, and our real-life stories would be enough for us to talk until the clock strikes twelve. However, like Cinderella, I had to get away immediately, or I would find it hard to wake up the next day and attend my 7 am class on one of our major subjects.

I had the best times when I shared them with you. You are someone who understands me and will never hesitate to lend me an ear and a shoulder to lean on whenever I need to. You, without second thoughts, shared with me the things that made you tremble in fear. You fear the idea of being close to the oceans or seas - it makes you feel like drowning and suffocating. Although I still wonder if you want to witness the sunset with me while we are seated on the shore as we talk about the random things that would come out of our mouths.

I wish those happy moments never ended, but life is so uncertain just like that - some people will come and suddenly go. I never lost you, but it feels like I did because of the sudden gap between us. Had I only been careful of how I acted towards you, had I only been mindful of the words I told you, we will never be in this awkward situation. I could have shared how I realize that commitment is the least of all my considerations and how I felt sorry for not giving someone a chance to prove himself to me.

Speaking of being sorry, would you hate to hear an apology from me? For I could never reciprocate the affection you offered to me. Because to me, you are a friend that I could never stand to see walking away. Wouldn't my apologies only worsen the fissure in the friendship and closeness we used to have?

Yet, I understand that if the only way for you to forget is to cut the ties that connect you to me, I could never question that. But I will forever remain to be a friend whom you could always reach out to whenever you feel like it.