My Gangster / TMNT 2012 Reader x Raph

CHAPTER 22: The Enemy's Sweet Lies

Y/N

Curled up in a ball on the lab floor, I sob, head buried in my legs and arms propped up on top of my knees. This is all my fault.

"I should've just gone with Ace." I sob, head still buried in my knees.

Leo places a hand on my shoulder. "What happened to Raph and Mikey isn't your fault."

"Yes, it is!" I shout, sobbing harder. He sits next to me on the floor of the lab. Donnie tends to an unconscious Mikey and Raph, me helpless to do anything. "I'm sorry I ruined your life."

"This isn't a pity party. They will be fine." Leo says. I sniffle, trying to stifle my sobs. "You did some good work back there. You stayed by Raph's side, helped us get the information we need, and got Raph his sais so he could hopefully kill Ace."

"I don't want my brother to be dead." I say. The room falls silent, except for Donnie's medical work, for a few moments.

Leo shifts, unsure what to say. What is he supposed to say, anyway? That he totally understands that somewhere in my heart I still care about my crazy brother who tried to kill him and his brothers?

"He was my best friend for most of my life. He wasn't always the monster he is today. Somewhere, inside of him, lives the little boy who was gentle with the farm animals and loved the Gemini constellation." I say. I lift my head up, wiping my tears and runny nose with my sleeve. What's the use in shame anymore?

I stand, walking to the bedsides of the injured boys. Both lie in separate pools of water. Donnie found them in a junkyard and claims turtles do well in water if they're in a coma. Last time a turtle brother was in a coma, they had an actual bathtub and Donnie hates using these junkyard tubs. They work, though, and I admire his craftiness with what limited resources he has being a mutant turtle and all.

Mikey, head bruised, stirs in his sleep, eyes moving slightly from beneath his eyelids. Raph, head also bruised and wrapped, lays completely still. His arm is wrapped in bandages, although several bloody past bandages of his are visible in the lab trash.

I plant a kiss on Raph's forehead. "Raphael, I'm sorry." I hold his hand and kneel by his side, eyes closed.

My eyes open abruptly, stinging from the bright lights of the lab. I rub my eyes and stand, knees sore from an uncomfortable sleeping position.

Mikey's eyes continue to move from beneath his eyelids and he stirs again. He groans, baby blue eyes fluttering open before immediately closing. "He's awake!" I shout, rushing to get Donnie. Donnie wakes up, sitting upright from his slouched sleeping position in the lab.

"Huh? Oh, Mikey!" He says, rushing to his little brother's side.

"Turn off that light, bro." Mikey groans, covering his eyes. Donnie immediately turns it off, leaving only a dim light on so the lab isn't pitch dark.

Donnie calls Leo into the room and begins checking some of Mikey's vital signs and for a concussion. Leo runs into the room, asking about Mikey and Raph.

I turn my attention to Raph, lightly stroking his cheek. "Please, wake up soon, baby." I whisper, tears threatening to stream down my cheeks again.

Donnie asks for everyone to leave the room and give Mikey space. I argue with him, wanting to stay by Raph's side. He insists I need sleep anyways and if anything happens with Raph, he'll call me. I look at Raph and give him a kiss on the forehead before exiting to his room. I fall asleep the instant my body hits the bed.

Gasping for air, I sit straight up, tears streaming down my cheeks. I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. I pant, sweating profusely from my nightmare.

I enter the lab and pull up a chair to sit by Raph's side. I stroke his cheek and talk to him, mostly about how sorry I am and how much I love him.

"Y/N, do you need to talk?" Splinter asks. I jump a bit in my chair, startled by his voice. When did he sneak in here?

He walks to Raph's side as well and stares down at his son. "I hear there was an altercation at the warehouse." He says. I nod, eyes glued on Raph's sleeping face. "Leonardo says you did everything you could to protect my sons." He looks at my face, waiting for a response. I sit silently, offering none. He lets a moment pass before speaking again. "I do not blame you for Raphael's injuries."

"It's my fault." I say.

"Why is that?"

"Ace wanted me. He told Raph if I went with him, nobody would get hurt."

"Do you believe that he really wouldn't have hurt anyone?" He asks. I pause, unsure. I shake my head. "The enemy tells sweet lies to take advantage of you." I don't want my brother to be my enemy. I want Ace to be my best friend again, to be the sweet boy he used to be.

"Do you think their lives would be better if I return to the Family?" Splinter strokes his long white beard.

"No, Y/N. Raphael would be heartbroken and you would be in great danger. He would do anything to get you back."

"Not if he's dead." I reply. I grimace, holding back tears. "He will die if he keeps this up. And it will be my fault."

"Raphael has a choice to make. He chooses to risk his life to defend you. He has always stubbornly protected the ones he loves. My son, in the best of times and the worst of times, is extremely loyal." Splinter explains. He offers me a cup of tea, but I reject it. I need to stay with Raphael.