A Risky Deal - Nachaeng

(CH.24) revealing

Nayeon feels like a secret agent every time she finds herself entering the building – dressed all black and with her shades covering her eyes and all.

She also knows it's rather stupid because the girl working at the front desk clearly recognizes her each time – silently glancing up at her before averting her eyes back to her work.

It's almost like they have a tacit agreement to ignore the fact that the Im heiress's increasing number of visits to the dance school were pretty odd.

It's a little embarrassing, but not quite enough for Nayeon to stop, because even if it doesn't look like it – every time she pays a visit, her initial plan is to finally talk to Chaeyoung. Or to at least show herself and not hide behind the supporting pillar like a yellow-belly.

But she just can't do it.

She's not even sure what exactly she's afraid of.

Was it acknowledging her feelings? A few weeks ago, that would probably have been the case, but Nayeon had already dealt with that and she no longer denied it.

Was it the prospect of the loss of control again? At this stage, Nayeon could hardly claim that she was still in control of anything regarding Chaeyoung.

But then, what could cause so much anxiety within her?

The fear of rejection? Probably. But then there was Chaeyoung's letter – as well as Sana's speech, which both spoke a language of their own. A language Nayeon had once been able to speak as well, but which she had forgotten over these past years. It was the language of hope.

Hope.

Hope was what scared her. Because even if hope was the most powerful emotion on the planet, hope could also be deceptive. And deceptive hope was the keystone of all destruction. Nayeon knew this firsthand.

So yeah, it was the fear of said hope that made Nayeon hide from Chaeyoung – even though she was right there. Just a few steps away – alive and real – flipping and spinning and laughing along with her students as if there was nothing wrong in the world.

And maybe there wasn't – at least that's the thought popping up in Nayeon's brain every time she's standing there in her hiding place and her heart rate starts to increase by just looking at this sight.

Maybe it wasn't the world that was broken after all.

Perhaps everything had always been right in the world – Nayeon had just never been able to see it, because she's never had this view.

That sight that gave her more hope for her future prospects than anything else before in her life.

And secretly Nayeon knew that she wanted this hope for her future - whether her wishes would come true or not. If the lone thought of being able to see Chaeyoung like that a little longer was enough for her heart to skip a beat – then that had to count for something, right?

It is the answer to this very question – the approval of it – that finally makes Nayeon step out of the shadows on her 5th visit to the art school.

And it's not like it's an easy thing to do – with her knees all weak and her legs almost shaking. But like most things that are cruelly feared, it's only the first few seconds that are difficult. And then everything happens almost automatically.

Nayeon's feet carry her through the studio door, from which a group of children is just bursting out – screeching and chattering among themselves, not really paying attention to the brunette who momentarily steps aside to let them all pass.

There is a brief moment in which everything is a loud mess, and then the children have disappeared and Nayeon is standing alone in the entrance to Chaeyoung's art room.