A Risky Deal - Nachaeng

(CH.16) allowing

A bright beam of light followed by a deafening bang rips Nayeon out of her sleep. She flinches – her eyes wide open instantly.

The rain bouncing on the window is loud, but Nayeon's racing heart is louder. She hears the pulse pounding in her ears, before another thunder drowns it out and makes her jump again.

It's a little embarrassing – how thunderstorms still scare her to death, even at the age of 25 – but she can't help it.

She has struggled with it since childhood.

And, as so often, her parents were never there to reassure little Nayeon when she couldn't sleep because thunder and lightning frightened her. Other mothers and fathers cuddled up to their children in such situations - hugged them, talked to them, sang songs to them. But not Mr. & Mrs. Im. If they were at home at all.

So Nayeon had no choice but to cling to her teddy bear and fight through her fear with silent tears. Later, her parents would explain to her that this made her stronger. And Nayeon would believe them. For a while anyway.

Meanwhile, Nayeon knows from experience that she has no chance to fall back asleep again – and just as she's raising her arms to cover her ears and blocking out the noises, a warm hand wraps around her shoulder.

"It's okay. You're safe."

Chaeyoung's voice makes the little hair on Nayeon's neck stand up, and it's not just because of the younger girl's breath against her skin.

Chaeyoung's grip moves deeper until her arm closes around Nayeon's waist and pulls her closer.

It's a little strange to Nayeon – how her back pressed against Chaeyoung's front and the other girl's deep embrace doesn't make her feel constricted at all.

Normally Nayeon would run now – turn away, get up – out of this situation. She just couldn't stand too much emotionally underpinned closeness.

She had tried... with Yeri, with Sehun - but in the end she always fell back into her familiar pattern.

But something's stopping her right now – something a lot scarier than the storm outside the windows. And she knows that what's brewing inside of her is a lot worse.

She has to defend herself against it – but at the moment it just doesn't work. Mainly because Chaeyoung's arms are too strong but also because Nayeon's willpower is too weak.

She has longed for someone to free her from this fear – and by that she doesn't just mean her astraphobia.

She thought that Chaeyoung would long be asleep again, which is why she is a bit startled when the other girl's voice suddenly breaks the silence.

"I was afraid of thunderstorms too when I was younger. I remember we would get them quite often during rainy season in Gangdong, like, much more frequently than here and for so long I had not understood what this thunder and lightning was all about. I used to ask my mom to explain it to me all the time and then ended up not believing her when she did because I was convinced that it was the God's up in the clouds that were angry or sad – so at some point I started dancing for them in the garden when it was storming. I thought if dancing made me happy it would calm them too."

Chaeyoung pauses and Nayeon's relatively grateful for the fact that she can't really see her right now.

The Korean is powerless when her head switches to autopilot and she imagines Chaeyoung as a little girl. How she dances in the rain, soaking wet – with the broadest smile on her face.

"Did it work?" she asks after painfully forcing herself to ignore everything else she has learned about the girl just now. It really wasn't her place to be interested in Chaeyoung's life like that.