Savior

Chapter 16

Before you read, I just want to let you know that some of the things Kellin is about to think is in no way what I believe. My mom had me when she was 19, and we live a very nice life. I mean, we aren't filthy rich, but we do well for ourselves. Point being, teen pregnancy doesn't always mean that your life is going to suck. I'm not encouraging it, because the possibility of you having a difficult life is much higher than you having a luxurious life, but no-one should feel the way Kellin does.

-

After the consultation, I sulked home, glad that I had the walk ahead of me. I didn't know how I was supposed to tell Vic, and the clarification that I was pregnant only put more pressure on me.

I passed a small diner on my way, seeing a few stray people sitting in booths on their own. The one thing that caught my eye, though, was a small family of three placed happily at a corner booth by the window. I noticed how each of their eyes lit up, and how both of the parents looked so joyful as they cooed at their baby. This sort of seemed like a light in the dark for me, reminding me that this situation could turn out well, but my mind was too clouded to want to think of positive things. Nothing in my life had ever been positive, besides Vic, so why would this one thing bring any sort of happiness to me. Teenagers aren't meant to have children, so there is no way in hell I can be happy like this.

I realized I was staring, so I quickly moved forward. I didn't want to get home quickly, but I could only prolong my walk for so long. The rest of the walk was actually kind of peaceful, really. Just me thinking about the future, including Vic in it even though I knew there was no way he would want to stay with me. He had to start teaching again in a couple of weeks; I couldn't add the stress of a pregnant boyfriend on him.

Due to my racing thoughts, I arrived home without even really realizing. I took a much needed deep breath, then walked into the house, trying to prepare myself for what could happen. I didn't really want to tell Vic, though I knew he deserved to know. On the other hand, I was too afraid of losing him, and everything that has come along after him, to spill my secret.

"Kellin, how did it go?" Vic asks politely when I enter the house. It was obvious that he had been waiting up for me.

"Fine," I mutter, walking past him without so much as a quick glance. I could just sense that he was hurt, but I was too jittery and nervous to care.

In order to decrease the possibility of further communication, I quickly trudged up the stairs, wincing when a cramp ran up my side. I hated this, really. There was nothing worse than cramps, puking, and stress.

I decided that it would be a better idea for me to sleep in my own room until I finally told Vic about the baby. I didn't feel very comfortable sleeping with him, and I knew I could play it off by saying that I didn't want to get him sick so close to the school year or something like that.

When I got to my room, I plopped down onto the bed, plugging my phone into its charger and pulling the covers up a bit. Once I slipped my shoes and pants off, I crawled under the covers, willing sleep to come my way.

-

I woke up to the shifting in the weight on the bed. I didn't know what was going on, but I soon felt the covers lift and fall again, and someone cuddle up against me. Vic. He must have decided to sleep in my room.

I left my eyes open just a little, making it seem like I was still sleeping. Vic leaned over a bit, seemingly checking to see if I was awake before lying back down.

"I don't know what's going on, but I want you to know that you can trust me. I don't believe that you're actually sick, because I got the stomach flu one time and couldn't leave my bed. I just wish you would tell me what was going on instead of hiding things from me. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend with you pushing me away. I just want to be there for you, but I can't do that when you won't let me in. You've changed in these past couple of days, and it makes me so sad." I felt terrible after the speech Vic gave me. I knew he didn't realize I was awake, and I didn't want him to know that, so I let a few tears silently fall. I couldn't believe what I had done to him. The problem was, I didn't know how to stop it. I was too afraid to tell him what the problem was, so instead, I took it out on him.

After a few moments of silence, Vic sighed, turning away and making himself comfortable. I didn't make a move, though. Instead, I fell asleep again.

-

I woke up the next morning with the feeling of guilt settled into my stomach. That feeling, along with me being pregnant, sent me into a whirlwind of nausea. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, emptying my stomach as usual.

Vic didn't come into the bathroom this time. He wasn't in bed when I woke up, which told me he had left before I woke up, or he didn't stay long last night. Seeing how badly I was affecting him caused me to think about Amy's offer. She told me I could call if I was having trouble telling Vic, but I didn't know if I wanted to tell her about these issues. I seem to not know a lot of things nowadays.

"I'm leaving," Vic told me, walking into the bathroom while I was hunched over the toilet. Instead of comforting me like he usually did, he just walked away.

I really used to hate when he left for work, but now the silence seemed to be a virtue. I didn't have to worry about where I went, and I didn't have to deal with his sad face while I moped around the house like a spoiled brat.

I stood up from the toilet, rubbing my sore knees and walking over to the sink, brushing my teeth quickly. I then walked out to the living room, lazily throwing my body onto the couch as I flipped through television channels. My hand seemed to have a mind of its own, and I found myself rubbing my stomach for a bit without even noticing. It almost seemed as though I was excited for this baby.

After a little while, I got cold, so I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around myself. I didn't really want to be down here when Vic got home, but I seemed to have lost track of time. Vic was walking into the house after what felt like ten minutes of me being down here, which actually turned out to be hours.

"Hey, Kellin," Vic greeted numbly, walking into the kitchen and placing his keys on the counter. All I did was look up at him for a moment before awkwardly moving my head to face the television.

"Seriously, what is wrong with you? You haven't been the same for a while now, and it's really starting to bug me. I wish you would just trust me," He mumbled, seeming frustrated. Vic ran his hands through his hair and down his face before staring at me for a moment. When I showed no reaction, he shook his head and walked away.

I couldn't imagine how he felt. I mean, I was in a pretty shitty situation myself, but Vic had given so much, and all I did was take.

Instead of facing the situation, though, I walked up to my room, quietly closing the door and walking to the bathroom, where I ran a bath for myself and sobbed for what felt like hours.

-

I love you all

Until tomorrow x