I really couldn't help but replay what had happened today in my mind. I laid there in my bed, wondering who she was.
"(Y/n)," I whispered, testing the name.
She was an elusive and mysterious character, as I soon figured out. I didn't see her the next day, or the day after that. It was almost like she was a manifestation of my mind, there and gone in the next. I was starting to wonder if she was even real or if I was just that desperate for someone.
Love.
Not paternal like Merlin's love for me. Not anything else like that.
Being in love.
It was an enigma to me. Sure, I had my fair of crushes. But they didn't keep me up at night.
Was it possible to be in love with someone you just met? Even if it was for a moment, even if she didn't seem real, even if you barely saw her face?
And how do I know that it's love if I've never been in love before? The human being is a mystery to all of us, even if we are one ourselves.
I know what love is of course, just never known it personally. I know how it's described in poems. When your world seems to tip and that person is your center of gravity. When that person becomes a main subject in your thoughts, dreams, fantasies and wishes.
When that person scares you the most because they might as well as hold your bloody, beating, desperate heart in their hands. Because they have the choice to crush it or accept it.
I threw a pillow over my face and groaned in frustration.
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"What in the great heavens were you doing last night if not sleeping?" Merlin scolded. He had quickly noticed the dark circles beneath my eyes.
"Thoughts," I muttered, keeping my eyes glued on the stone floor I was sweeping. Merlin couldn't know, could he?
"Thoughts, Hisirdoux?" I didn't have to look up to know Merlin was frowning, the man barely smiled.
"Might they be about a certain lady?"
I choked on my own spit and in the process my broom hit the pile of dust. The dirt kicked up in the air and in the next moment it was invading my nostrils and my throat.
I was probably coughing out spirits for all I knew while Merlin continued to talk nonchalantly, "I want you to stay away from her if you see her again."
My head whipped around. "What? Why? She's a magic user, like us!"
Merlin twirled a finger in the air, mercifully settling all the dust back in a neat pile and removing it from my hair with his verdant magic. "Don't ask questions."
Okay, now he was making it worse. Merlin was just making me more curious.
"If you can't control your curiosity," Merlin continued, somehow reading my thoughts again, "I'll have you know right now that miss (y/n) is a dangerous character and should not be messed with. So for the love of this kingdom, Douxie, don't go running off with her just because she has a pretty face."
