Love is not in the equation | Taegyu

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛

⋆｡˚. ੈ.✾. ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ

𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑠

⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ.✾. ⋆｡˚. ੈ

Beomgyu might have always been a bigger crier than his twin, but it doesn't make it less concerning whenever he cries.

He cries when he's in pain. He cries when he's emotional. He cries when he's feeling too much of a certain emotion.

And currently, it was the latter.

Beomgyu felt frustrated and wronged. Hot tears streamed down his angry cheeks as he stubbornly stared down at the floor, refusing to look up at his twin. He was confused, and this confusion made him even more overwhelmed. He was feeling too much of everything all at once and all he could do was silently protest because he wasn't good with words. He didn't know how he should express himself, or where he should start from. 

The first thing Beomhan did when they got home from Taehyun's house was to lecture and reprimand Beomgyu. His words had a kind of harshness to them and Beomgyu couldn't help but feel slightly terrified and foreign. But at the same time, he was agitated. He wanted to argue back, convey his feelings, state his opinions and look at his twin eye to eye, but he couldn't. He was timid. He was a confused crybaby who didn't know any better. 

Mustering up all the courage that was left in him, Beomgyu finally looked up from the floor, hands in fists as he sniffled and glared at his twin for the first time.

"I... I want to trust my own judgement" Beomgyu spoke up, "even if I'm wrong in people's eyes, I want to do what I believe in... Hannie, I know you're always... looking out for me... b-but I don't need you to do that-" 

"Are you listening to yourself, Gyu? When everyone's judgement about a certain person is the same, then there's clearly something wrong about the person! And you're just going to ignore that and blindly trust Taehyun?! I don't want you close to him ever again! What were you even doing with him in the first place?!"

"Taehyun isn't like that!" Beomgyu defended. "Taehyun is...!"

"Look, you don't even know what to say about him. Why are you always so oblivious and stupid?!" Beomhan snapped.

Stunned, Beomgyu let his mouth hung slightly open as he stared at his identical twin with wide eyes. He saw Beomhan panting softly after his outburst, his chest rising and falling quickly with his brows deeply furrowed and his once stern eyes turning soft and apprehensive upon realising what he had just told Beomgyu. 

It was scary. With them sharing the same face, Beomgyu found it petrifying to see "himself" shouting like that. 

In the next moment, the long haired twin found his vision blurred by his own tears, his whole face burning up with humiliation and subsequent anger. Turning around, he ran straight out of the door, out of the cramped apartment and down the run down building, ignoring Beomhan's frantic calls after him. 

Picking up his bike at the bicycle shed, Beomgyu cycled away without a sparing a single glance back. With tears flowing down his cheeks like a river, he bit his lower lips before lifting himself up from the seat and pedaled away as fast as he could. He had nowhere to go, but the only thing he knew was that he wanted out. 

Pathetic. Beomgyu felt pathetic. Not wanting his close friends to witness this side of him, he didn't want to look for them. Beomgyu had developed a fear of letting his closed ones discover his problems. People already knew he's already weak enough, he didn't need them to know just how much more shameful and pathetic he could be.