Love is not in the equation | Taegyu

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑛

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𝐴 𝑐𝑜𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑒-𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑

⋆｡˚. ੈ⋆｡˚. ੈ ⋆｡˚. ੈ.✾. ⋆｡˚. ੈ

One tiny drop of violet. Dispersing and spreading across the white canvas, painting it a light violet.

Beomgyu's heart squeezed with an unexplainable feeling as he thought back to the indecent activity he had participated in.

Perhaps it was the embarrassment, or the thrill and adrenaline, but Beomgyu could still feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest with an uncomfortable feeling and emotion settling in.

He wanted to confront it, tackle it, but he didn't know how.

It was his first time being touched like this by another person. It was his first time being so vulnerable and exposed. Taehyun had seen his most intimate part, and had watched how he had ejaculated so quickly and so embarrassingly.

Not even Beomhan, his own twin, had seen all of him like this. But an outsider, Taehyun, did. Taehyun was someone Beomgyu still didn't know what to label him as. Acquaintances? They had far gone over past that. Employee and employer? Considering that Beomgyu still modelled for his art. Not quite, since their relationship went beyond that. Friends? They felt like friends... but friends don't do this. And friends definitely don't have a certain invisible wall in between them. Beomgyu felt close to Taehyun, but at the same time, they felt distant. Partners? Taehyun said they were partners. But now Beomgyu questioned what kind of partners were they? He knew the definition of partners is a pair of people engaged together in the same activity. And they had engaged together in a lot of activities. Partners felt a bit vague, and Beomgyu wanted to have a clearer answer to that.

Beomgyu couldn't believe that he had allowed it to happen so easily. Was he clouded with arousal? He wasn't. It was a random boner, one that popped out of nowhere. It wasn't because he was aroused, or horny. So what made him give in?

Taehyun. It was Taehyun and his words. And not just his words, but also his actions. Beomgyu came to realise that a bit late. He was dim witted, and under such circumstances, he wasn't able to properly assess his situation. He was already drowning in sensations, searching and reaching for Taehyun's voice and touch. Taehyun had got him good. But Beomgyu would blame no one but himself, for he had agreed to Taehyun using him after all.

Moreover, Beomgyu wasn't innocent either. He had enjoyed it, relishing the moment of being touched by someone else. It wasn't his hand that got him off, but someone else's, and there was a certain eroticism and excitement to it. Though he was utterly embarrassed and humiliated, it had felt good to him. Shame came later unfortunately or fortunately.

Would he do such a thing again? Allow someone to touch him? Beomgyu considered quietly as he let the shower run. Taehyun had told him to take a shower before they would leave for his residence.

Maybe. Maybe not. He couldn't imagine having someone else touch him like that. All except for Taehyun. Maybe only Taehyun. Because he was already comfortable enough with him, and Taehyun had already seen him.

What came next was the question of his sexuality. He lathered his body with soap and frowned upon his internal predicament. He had never thought this deep for such things as well. He had never once questioned his sexuality, always having going with the flow, having innocent celebrity crushes and dreaming of having his own romcom scenarios.

He was definitely attracted to girls. His celebrity crushes were girls, and when he fantasised, he imagined himself with a girl. Even the porn he watched was straight. Yet, he had been kissing Taehyun, a boy. And allowed Taehyun to touch him. He even climaxed by his hand. But was he attracted to guys? He wasn't so sure. He knew who to be considered handsome, and Taehyun was one attracrive young man. But...