Love is not in the equation | Taegyu

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑒

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𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡

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This was not how it was supposed to feel.

He was supposed to hold his head high, to stand with pride and speak with confidence. There should have been a wide smile on his face, his heart light and overflowing with joy. Yet, all of those feelings seemed distant, replaced by a heaviness he couldn't shake off, as if the emotions he was meant to feel had slipped away, leaving him uncertain and completely devastated.

"Gyu, say that again?"

Beomgyu lifted his head up to look at his twin, his chest tightening at the sight of Beomhan staring at him with a mix of disbelief and disdain. Eyes darting to his left, he found his parents with similar expressions on their faces - a deep worried frown and lips pressed into a tight line.

Swallowing hard, willing the lump in his throat to disappear, Beomgyu parted his lips to speak. The words felt heavy, sticking to the back of his tongue, but he forced them out, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I-I'm going to university."

In that moment, he felt incredibly small, standing under the weight of his family's intense, scrutinising gaze. He could feel their silent questions pressing down on him, the tension thickening the air around them. It wasn't supposed to be this hard, but the disappointment flickering across familiar faces made his resolve waver. His hands clenched tightly at his sides as he waited for their reaction, bracing himself for what he knew would come.

"You know you can't- we can't afford-" his mother was the first to break the silence, her voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and worry. Her brows furrowed deeply, and she took a step closer, searching his face as though hoping to find some sign that he might reconsider.

"Beomgyu, university is... it's too much. We don't have the means for this kind of thing" she continued, her voice softening, but the weight of her words was unmistakable.

Beomgyu had always known that, but his heart still ached at how unsupportive his family was with his decision. He had intentionally left out the part where he managed to secure a scholarship and sponsorship from Soobin's family just to gauge their reaction.

He already knew this would be the way they respond to his declaration, but he had a glimmer of hope that perhaps, just maybe, they would have reacted differently.

This was to be expected, but Beomgyu couldn't help feeling the sting of unfairness. His family had always prioritised his twin's education over his own, a choice that made sense to everyone. Beomgyu understood; he knew their situation, knew the sacrifices they had made. Yet, despite that understanding, the hurt was still there, lingering in his chest like a dull ache that refused to fade.

It pained him.

"Let's say... hypothetically, we let you go. Which university...? And where would you stay?" his father asked, his voice gentle yet edged with a hesitance that betrayed his inner conflict. His posture was tense, shoulders drooping under the weight of uncertainty.

Beomgyu glanced up, catching the faint trace of worry in his father's eyes. The question wasn't dismissive, but the tension in his father's stance made it clear this was a leap they weren't ready for.

"Seoul National-"

"Did you apply behind our backs? Did you get accepted?" His twin's voice was sharp, cutting through the air as he took big strides toward him, hands reaching out to grip his shoulders. Beomhan's touch was firm, almost harsh, as if trying to shake the truth out of him.