CHAPTER V : THE FIRST TIME
With just days away from the opening night of the musical, my nerves were kicking in. Rachel and I had a long debate about who would take the opening night, she only relented to letting me have it when I explained to her about Blaine being my boyfriend and that she would want the same if Finn was Tony. Blaine and I had spent the past week, practicing constantly. We were in the auditorium, running the play with Artie, Ms. P, and Coach Beiste.
Tonight — West Side Story (Sung By Blaine & Naya)
[Naya]
Tonight, tonight
It all began tonight 
I saw you and the world went away
Tonight, tonight 
There's only you tonight 
What you are, what you do, what you say
[Blaine]
Today, all day I had the feeling
A miracle would happen
I know now I was right
[Blaine & Naya]
For here you are
And what was just a world is a star
Tonight 
Tonight, tonight 
The world is full of light
With suns and moons all over the place
Tonight, tonight 
The world is wild and bright 
Going mad
Shooting sparks into space
Today, the world was just an address
A place for me to live in
No better than all right
But here you are
And what was just a world is a star
Tonight
Good night, good night
Sleep well and when you dream
Dream of me
Tonight.
Whilst we sang, Blaine took my hand, making me smile and Coach Beiste started crying "Are you going to cry every time we sing?" Blaine asked Coach Beiste. Beiste wiped her eyes and nodded her head "I'm such a girl" She said, chuckling slightly "My only note is more teeth" Ms. P said, I looked at her confusedly "Like, get some more teeth, like surgically or something?" I asked, eyebrows furrowed "No, love, she means to show your teeth more," He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders "Oh, that makes more sense. It sounded stupid when I said it" I said, rubbing the back of my neck, embarrassed "Can I be honest? This song is about sexual awakening, as is the entire musical. You two lack passion. I know you dating but have you two actually...?" I blushed a violent shade of red, as did Blaine. I buried my face in his shirt, trying to hide my embarrassment "Wow, okay. I have to go. Because I have..." "Those footballs aren't going to inflate themselves," Beiste and Ms. P said at the same time as they scrambled to get up and leave. Once they left, I peeked out from where I had buried my face and listened to Artie "Look, I remember my first time with Brittany. The excitement, the way it made me feel like a man...even though she called me the wrong name like four times, during and after. What was it like for the two of you?" I discreetly stepped away from Blaine and looked down at the floor as Blaine answered for us "It's not that I don't want to you know, it's just I'm not sure I'm ready yet" I said, not looking up from the floor "We've only been dating for a like month" "Look, as your friend I support your strange aversion to the fun. But as your director, I'm concerned" Artie said, slamming his arms down on his lap "I'm sorry what do you mean?" I asked, finally looking up from the floor "Well, how do you expect to convey the human experience to an audience when you haven't even opened yourself up to one of humanity's most basic and primal ones?" I exchanged a look with Blaine. I know we hadn't been together that long but some people lose their virginities to people they don't even know, and I do like—maybe even love Blaine, I don't anyone better than him. Maybe Artie was right? Maybe it was time?
__________
My parents were away on business all week, so I had the house to myself. I invited Blaine over to keep me company and as I lay on my bed whilst he danced around my room, I couldn't take my eyes off of him "God. Roxy Music makes me want to build a time machine just so I can go back to the '70s and give Brian Ferry a high five" He said, doing a little shimmy "Do you think I'm boring?" I blurted out without thinking "Are you crazy? You're the single most interesting person in all of Ohio" Blaine said, smiling at me. I propped myself up on my elbows so I could talk to him properly "I mean, like sexually. I mean, we are playing it very safe by not granting our hands visas to travel south of the equator" I said, avoiding looking at him "Oh, I-I thought that's what we wanted" He said, his dancing slowing down a bit "It is. I'm just wondering, have you ever had the urge just to rip off each other's clothes and get dirty?" I asked, blushing wildly as I spoke "Uh, yeah. But that's why they invented masturbation" Blaine said casually. I blushed even more and felt hot so I quickly stood up "It's so hot in this room. I'm opening up a window" I said, jumping over to the window and opening it. I leaned on the window sill, breathing in the fresh evening air "Hey, I'm serious. We're young. We're in high school. Yeah, we have urges, but whatever we do, I want to make sure that you're comfortable. So I can be comfortable" He said, coming over to me and gently pulling me away from the window. He placed my hands around his neck and wrapped his arms around my waist "And besides, tearing off all of your clothes is sort of a tall order" He said, gesturing to the number of layers I had on. I opened my mouth in shock and pulled my arms away from him "You know I get cold easily" I said, pushing at his chest gently. He chuckled, pulling me back towards him and kissing my lips. We broke apart and I stared up into his shimmering eyes "How could I ever not be comfortable with you Blainie?" I said, smiling softly at him. He raised an eyebrow "Blainie?" He questioned, and I shrugged my shoulders "Well you've started calling me Nay-Nay, so I figured you should have a nickname too" He smiled back at me and leaned down to kiss me again "You're so cute" He said, tucking my hair behind my ear "Not as cute as you"
__________
I spotted Blaine at his locker the next day and went straight up to him, leaning against the lockers beside him "Rehearsals are killing me, Artie keeps telling me to sing higher, if I sing any higher only dogs will hear me! Dogs!" I exclaimed, slamming the back of my head against the lockers "Do you think we're too sheltered as artists?" He asked, out of the blue. I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head in confusion "I'm serious. West Side Story's all about living outside of your safe little world. Don't you want to wake up every day and be adventurous? Experience everything in life you can?" "Of course, that's why I made a bucket list. Okay, you ready for this?" I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket and clicked on my notes app "Okay" He said, closing his locker "Alright, here you go. Number 87: Become CEO of a Lego" "Of course" "Number 63: lay a rose at the birthplace of Karl Blossfeldt — one of my favorite photographers. And, okay, number five.
All right, this one's embarrassing.
I wrote this before I met you. Have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Tom Felton, before he gets I don't know—ugly or something" Blaine's eyes widened and I blushed lightly "Oh, yeah, I know, it's stupid" "No, it's not. It's hot" Blaine said, a small smirk playing on his lips. My cheeks reddened further and I forced myself to look him in the eyes "Well, anyway, we're—we're young, so we've got all the time in the world to be adventurous" I said, shrugging my shoulders "Don't you think now is the time to be adventurous? While we're still young?" He said, before walking away. I was left staring at his back, thinking about how much I was in love with that boy.
___________
I walked into the Lima Bean, planning on getting some coffee before going home and reading over my script again when I spotted Blaine talking to a guy in a Warbler uniform. I listened in on their conversation as I waited for my coffee "Look, Sebastian, I have a girlfriend" He said, and I felt a warm feeling in my stomach when he warded off 'Sebastian's' advances "Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you" Sebastian said casually, I clenched my fist—this dude was already getting on my nerves and I had only heard him speak once "No, I mean, I really care about her" Blaine replied "She doesn't need to know" Sebastian insisted. I straightened up where I stood as the server handed me my coffee "I'd just never want to mess my thing up with her in any way" Blaine said, I discreetly walked closer to them—preparing to make a somewhat dramatic entrance "She's really great" "Whose really great?" I asked, pretending not to have heard their entire conversation as I walked up to them. Blaine looked up at me in surprise, then at Sebastian then back at me "You!" He said, louder than I think he meant to "We were just talking about you. Sebastian, this is Naya, my girlfriend, who I was just..." "Got it," Sebastian said, cutting Blaine off. I held my hand out to him in a polite manner, waiting for him to shake it "Wow, wow" Blaine said, trying to calm his nerves down. Sebastian reluctantly accepted the handshake but he did "Pleasure" I said, smiling as sweetly as I could "And how do we know Sebastian?" I asked Blaine, as I pulled my hand out of Sebastian's. Blaine stammered over his words and I felt my annoyance grow "We met at Dalton. Was dying to meet Blaine. Those Warblers just won't shut up about him. Didn't think he could live up to the hype, but as it turns out..." I looked down at Blaine and saw the blush on his cheeks and the soft smile he had, the one that I thought he only used with me "Yes, he's even more impressive in the flesh" I said, pulling another chair to their table and sitting down. I hooked my arm around Blaine's and smiled pointedly at Sebastian "Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?" Sebastian asked, his eyes glued to mine and Blaine's arms "Well, we're rehearsing for the school musical. Which we both have leading roles in, so we'll probably be rehearsing that all evening" "And as sexy as that sounds" Sebastian said sarcastically "What do you say we shake things up? I get you two, a couple of fake IDs and we head over to Scandals in West Lima" "Scandals? That's the gay bar" Blaine said when he noticed my confused expression "The last time I was there, I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor" Sebastian said, smirking coyly "That's so sweet. And are you two still together?" I asked hopefully "Sadly, no. We broke up about 20 minutes after we met" Sebastian said, much to my disappointment "Come on, guys, live a little" "We would love to, Sebastian. Thank you for the offer. That's very nice of you, but that just isn't our kind of thing" Blaine said, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice "Let's do it" I said, without thinking "What?" "Yeah! We have a whole bunch of firsts to start crossing off our list" I said, smiling warmly at my boyfriend. I turned to Sebastian, my smile dropping "We're in" I said coldly "Great" "Great"
__________
As soon as I got home, I called Moriah. The phone rang a few times before she finally answered "Hi, Naya" She said, but she sounded busy "M, is now a bad time? I need to talk to you" I said, my voice trembling. I heard her walking, and telling my brother-in-law to watch the kids so we can talk "Is everything okay Nay-Nay?" She asked, "What was your first time with Jordan like?" "Uh, why?" "I've just been thinking about it a lot recently, and I think Blaine wants to—you know but I don't know if I'm ready but I feel like I should be ready, I mean I'm almost seventeen. And then Blaine met this guy who's so much more out there, you know and I'm scared he might leave me and I think I love him M, I don't know what to do" I said frantically, trying to stop a tear from rolling down my cheek "Naya, listen to me. You should never feel pressured into doing anything just because your boyfriend wants you to. My first time with Ethan was—it was perfect, he didn't pressure me into anything, always made sure I was okay and was the best person I could have lost it to. If you think Blaine is that person, then great, if don't do it, you might regret" I sniffled and nodded my head before remembering she can't see me "Okay" "As for this other thing, you said you think Blaine might leave you for this boy?" "It's just, the way he looked at him was the way he looked at me. And the way he talked, I guess you kind of had to be there. But he made plans for us to go to this gay bar in Lima and oh god, I'm just really anxious" "Naya. From what I saw a few weeks ago, Blaine loves you. He may have a minor crush on this guy but everyone gets crushes that they can't help. A crush is different to love. Pretty soon he'll get over this silly crush and you'll forget all about it. You don't need to worry, I promise" "I love you, you know that?" "I love you too little sister. Call me if you need anything okay? I'll always be here if you need to talk" "Thank you" I said before hanging up. I laid back on my bed, sighing loudly and looking around my room. I spotted the keyboard on my desk and got up, sitting in front of it.
Collide — Rachel Platten (Sung By Naya)
[Naya]
Lately, I feel like I'm pushing you away
Acting moody for no reason 
And even thought you know I'm always gonna stay
I've been talking like I'm leaving
I don't know why I keep playing these dumb games 
Love is not a competition
No one's winning when I'm pushing you away
Sometimes the darkness is a prison 
Turn the lights on, honey, honey, I don't wanna hide
Turn the lights on, honey, I'm surrendering
tonight
Although I'm not perfect, I feel perfect in your eyes
Turn the lights on, honey, I don't really wanna hide, not tonight
Come and crash into me 'cause I want us to collide
Collide, collide, collide
Collide, collide, collide
Look into my eyes and tell me we're okay
And we both can be forgiven
Kiss me gently, say the things you wanna say
You don't need to ask permission
I'm a stormy ocean, but you're steady And I'm all commotion, but you get me Too many emotions, but you let me
Let me blossom in the dark
Turn the lights on, honey, honey, I don't wanna hide
Turn the lights on, honey, I'm surrendering
tonight
Although I'm not perfect, I feel perfect in your eyes
Turn the lights on, honey, I don't really wanna hide, not tonight
Come and crash into me 'cause I want us to collide
Collide, collide, collide
Collide, collide, collide
I'm a stormy ocean, but you're steady I'm like all commotion, but you get me Too many emotions, but you let me
Let me blossom in the dark
Turn the lights on, honey, honey, I don't wanna hide
Turn the lights on, honey, I'm surrendering
tonight
Although I'm not perfect, I feel perfect in your eyes
Turn the lights on, honey, I don't really wanna hide, not tonight
Come and crash into me 'cause I want us to collide
Collide, collide, collide
Collide, collide, collide
Collide, collide, collide
Collide, collide, collide. 
__________
Blaine and I arrived at the Scandals bar in West Lima. He had driven since I didn't know where it was, and I had been unusually silent for the whole ride.
He walked around to my side of the car, opening the door for me and slinging his arm around my shoulders when I was out of the car. I smiled up at him warmly as we walked towards the door. Just before we walked in, he stopped, placing his hands on my shoulders "Are you sure you want to do this? We can leave if you want" He said, tilting his head. Everything inside me screamed 'no I don't want to do this' but my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own "Yes I'm sure" I said, taking his hand off my shoulder and threading my fingers through his. I gripped his hand tightly as I palled my fake ID out of my pocket "Pandora Tromahan? This doesn't even look like me" I said, staring down at the dark-haired girl in the picture—I had ginger hair. Blaine chuckled softly and showed me his "Don't worry, mine says I'm 38. They'lI work" He said as we pushed open the doors to the club. We showed our fake Ids to the bouncer, who looked suspiciously up at us but he eventually let us through, telling us it was 'Drag Queen Wednesday'. We walked through, my hand gripping Blaine's tightly as amazing drag queens, circled us. I watched in awe as they walked so gracefully in their heels, wondering how they did it. When I wore heels I looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk "It's not very scandalous" Blaine said with mild disappointment "Au contraire. Look at all the glamorous drag queens. Look, there's Cher and Tina Turner" I said pointing out two of the queens "And Ginger from Gilligan's Island" Blaine pointed out. I scanned the room, trying to guess who the others portrayed when Blaine tugged on my hand. I followed his gaze and my smile dropped when I saw Sebastian "Damn it, I thought he would bail when I said I was coming" I said not so quietly "Be nice" Blaine said, squeezing my hand "Tell that to Mr. Sarcasm over there" I mumbled under my breath as we approached Sebastian at the bar "I really don't like that guy" "He's harmless" Blaine said, dismissing my worries. We reached the bar and Sebastian handed our drinks to us "He is as harmless as a killer hornet" "A beer for Blaine, and Naya, a Shirley Temple with extra cherries. I heard you're the designated driver. Like, all the time" He said snidely. I smiled sweetly and sipped my drink "Yeah, there's something about being pissed out of my mind and not remembering anything that doesn't appeal to me. Strange that huh?" I said, popping a cherry in my mouth "Feisty" He said, smirking and I narrowed my eyes at him "Cheers, you two. To the glamorous life," I watched as Blaine and Sebastian danced for a while, I could feel my calm composure being ripped in half. As I was about to go over there and butt in I felt a tap on the shoulder "M?" I asked confusedly, the person nodded their head and hugged me quickly "Why the hell are you dressed like a guy?" "I thought you had to be one to get in here, I was wrong," She said, sitting down on a stool, She pulled me down in the seat beside her and asked for another beer "So, that's Sebastian" Moriah prompted, turning in her seat "Yeah," I said sighing loudly "Moriah, I love you. But why are you here?" "I wanted to check out your competition," She said nonchalantly "Competition? What? So you think he has a real chance? Oh God, I knew" "No! No, Naya, Naya, calm down. It was a bad choice of words. I meant, I just wanted to see what you got all worked up about. And from my point of view, he is nothing compared to you" I smiled warmly at my big sister and leaned my head on her shoulder "You being here means a lot to me" I said, holding her hand in mine "Well like I said yesterday, I'll always be here" I felt a tap on my shoulder and we both turned around to see Blaine "Naya, who's this? Oh, Moriah! Hi!" Blaine said, surprised "I was just coming to ask Naya to dance, but I don't want to pull her away from you" "Nonsense, I've had her for 16 years Take her, I've gotta go anyways. I left Jordan alone with the kids" Moriah said, patting my shoulder and getting up. She stopped beside Blaine and whispered something in his ear which made him go pale "What did she say?" I asked when she left. Blaine shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. He extended his hand out to me and I gladly accepted it. I danced right in between Blaine and Sebastian for a while and I was actually having an okay time. But then Blaine started to get too drunk and I decided it was time for him to get home. I put his arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist so he could lean his weight against me. We stumbled out of the bar and towards my car as Blaine rambled about some nonsense "This was the best night of my life. It was the best night of my life. I want to live here. I want to live here. And I just want to make art and you know, just help people" "You could certainly help people make fires with your breath," I said, laughing slightly as we reached the car "Hey, come on, I only had one beer" "Sure you did," I said, opening the car back door for him "Hey" "What?" "Kiss me. Kiss me" He said, pulling me very close to him. I pushed him away slightly, trying to urge him to get in the car but he was having none of it "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, you're riding in the back. Come on. Lay down, you're less likely to throw up that way" I said, pushing him down in the seat. He finally relented, lying down in the back of the car. He grabbed my waist and pulled me down, on top of him "Whoa, whoa, wait!" He started kissing me over and over again "Alright, Blaine, alright," I said, trying to push myself away. he slid his hand down my waist and up my skirt. I reached down, trying to push his hand away "Cold hand, cold hand!" I said, still trying to push myself away "Come on, come on. Hey, Naya, let's just do it. I—I want you" Blaine said, very drunkenly. His hand came up to frame my jaw but I tried to push him away, lowkey scared of what he might do in his drunken state "No, no, Blaine. Stop it, just stop" "Please, I want you" "No, stop" "Hey, listen, I—I know you wanted to do it in a field of lilacs with Sting playing in the background and all that, but who cares where we are? It's all about us, right?" "Right, it's about us," I said, finally pushing myself away from him and out of the car "Which is why I don't want to do it on a night that you spent half of dancing with another guy and that you're sober enough to remember it the next day!" I yelled angrily "Why are you yelling at me?" Blaine asked with a mixture of confusion and anger in his voice "Because I have never felt less like being intimate with someone and either you can't tell or you just don't care!" Blaine sighed and got up, out of the car "Where are you going?" "I'm sorry if I'm trying to be spontaneous and fun," He said, throwing his arms up in frustration "I think I'm just gonna walk home," He said, before walking away "Blaine!" I shouted, trying to get him to come back but he ignored me. Then he stumbled over his feet, leaning against a pole as he threw up. He collapsed to his knees and I rushed over to him. I took him in my arms, ignoring the stench of sick, and helped him to his feet, gently guiding him back to the car.
__________
The next day was opening night. Blaine and I sat in silence as we finished off our looks "Naya" Blaine quietly said, I turned to face him in my chair and raised an eyebrow "I-I'm sorry, about last night. I don't really remember much, but I do remember getting into a big argument" "Fo you know why we got into a fight?" I asked turning back to the mirror and picking up my brush "No" He said, shamefully "You tried to have sex with me, in the back of a car, despite my attempts to stop you, and then got mad at me, when I shouted at you to stop" I said, pulling the brush through my hair "Oh God, I'm sorry" He said "Are you though? They say drunk words are sober thoughts and I understand that you wanted me, I mean I want you as well but not like that. I was genuinely terrified Blaine" I said, accidentally slamming the brush down on the table. Blaine sighed and turned to me, taking my hands in his "I am absolutely and genuinely sorry. I never, ever want you to feel scared or unsafe around me and I hate that I made you feel that way. You're the most important person in my life and I don't what I would do if you don't forgive me" I sighed, looking down at our joined hands, and nodded my head "I am going to forgive you, 1, because, you sound really sincere and I know this week has been stressful, 2, because I really like you and don't know what I would do without you and lastly 3, because you were drunk, but if you ever pull that crap again, drunk or especially sober. I will leave you quicker than you can say Maria" He chuckled softly, lifting, my hands to his mouth and pressing, a gentle kiss to both of them "Thank you, my love" He said as Artie came rolling past "Five minutes! Naya, darken your eyebrows. Blaine, tone down the blush" He said, rolling past us "My eyebrows are fine" I mumbled under my breath. Once Blaine and I were ready, we met with the rest of the cast as we planned to surprise Artie. Tina went up to him, alerting him that we needed to talk.
We all walked over, trying to hide our smiles "Dude, we have a problem" Puck said, making Artie look scared out of his mind "We haven't officially thanked you for everything that you've done for us" Santana said, revealing a bouquet from behind her back. She handed them to him and everyone began to clap for Artie "All of us were so nervous, and we didn't know what we were doing and you were like the lighthouse that lead us to the way" Tina said, swaying from side to side slightly "But I didn't know what I was doing, either" Artie looked up at all our smiling faces and took a deep breath "When you're in a chair, it's hard to...ever feel like you've grown up. Everyone's always doing stuff for you, they get freaked out about saying the wrong thing, so...they coddle you. Sometimes it's hard to ever picture a life of being self-sufficient. But directing you guys, the way you trusted me, the way you looked at me and listened to me, it was the first time in my life that I ever. felt like a grown man. That's the greatest gift you can give a guy, so.. So, thank you, guys. for the flowers and for everything" I wiped away the tears in my eyes and grabbed Blaine's hand "All right show circle!" Everyone chuckled and we all crowded around Artie, putting our hands in the middle "May I, chief?" Puck asked, Artie, nodded his head "Let's kick some ass!" Everyone cheered loudly and threw their hands in the air. The play went on without a hitch. 
America — West Side Story (Sung By Santana, Tina, Puck, Rory, Mike, Quinn, Brittany & West Side Story Cast)
We—Blaine and I—watched as the actors walked off stage. I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder "How are we, as virgins, supposed to follow that?" Blaine asked quietly. I sighed again, quieter this time, and shrugged my shoulders "Tony and Maria were soulmates, okay? Against all odds, they found each other" I took a deep breath and smiled up at Blaine "I know now, what that's like. And hopefully, you do too. So we just have to play that, okay? We, as actors, have to tap into that" One of the crew members came up behind us and tapped us both on the shoulder, alerting us that it was time to go on stage. I took a deep breath, quickly pressing a kiss to Blaine's cheek before walking on stage.
___________
After the show, I watched Blaine dancing on the stage, he dance with a determined expression on his face, but he had another emotion—sadness..? "Blainie, shouldn't we be celebrating?" I said, startling him out of his concentration "I'm going over this move. I messed it up tonight. I know I can do it better" He said. I sighed and walked over to him, I placed my hands on either side of his face and smiled at him "What's wrong love?" I said, stroking my thumb across his cheek. He exhaled sharply and gently pulled my hands off his face "I just feel so terrible for how I acted these past couple of days, from Sebastian to pressuring you last night. It's just so not me, and ugh—I just hate that it happened" "I'll admit, I did get a bit self-conscious and jealous around Sebastian"  I said quietly "Give me your hand" He said, holding out his own. I placed my hand in his "Hold it to your heart" He said, placing my hand over my heart "Like the song?" I asked, smiling shyly "Just like the song" He agreed, smiling back "Sebastian doesn't mean anything to me. And you were right—our first time shouldn't be like that. I was drunk like you said and I'm sorry" "I said I forgive you" "I know" He said, cutting me off "I know" "Well, for the record. I'm sorry too, I didn't say that earlier. I wanted to be your adventurous, you know, gay bar superstar but, try as I might, I'm still just a silly romantic" I said, looking down at the hands still placed over my heart "It's not silly" He said, before surging forward and kissing me passionately "You take my breath away. Not just right now, tonight on that stage. I was so proud to be with you as we sang together" I said, wrapping my arms around his neck "I hope so. I want you to be" He said, getting slightly choked up "I was insanely proud of you too" "I'm glad," I said, smiling warmly "Um, Artie's having an after party at Breadstix. Would you...accompany me?" I thought about it for a second "No" I said, confusing Blaine "I want to go to my house, my parents are still away" I said, smiling shyly at him. Blaine's eyes widened and he nodded his head, taking a deep breath "Okay"
One Hand, One Heart — West Side Story (Sung By Blaine & Naya)
[Blaine]
Make of our hands one hand
Make of our hearts one heart
Make of our vows one last bow
Only death will part us now
[Naya]
Make of our lives one life
Day after day, one life
[Blaine & Naya]
Now it begins, now we start
One hand, one heart
Even death won't part us now.
                                      
                                          
                                   
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