𝗚𝗟𝗘𝗘 | 𝗕𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗔𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻

𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝟐.𝟎

CHAPTER XXI : BRITNEY 2.0

"Great News, guys!" Mr. Schue said, walking into the choir room cheerfully "Principal Figgins has asked us to perform at the annual back-to-school pep rally this week. Now, I understand our National Champion street cred has dropped a little bit since school started, but this is our chance to really wow them and get it back" "What are we going to perform?" Joe asked "Please be Blur, I can't believe we haven't done a Blur lesson yet," I said, crossing my fingers "Good question. We're a family in here, and when one of our family is falling down, it's up to us to get together to pick them back up" Mr. Schue said, walking over to the whiteboard and writing something on it. He wrote 'Britney 2.0' "Oh, my God. Are we doing Britney Week again?" Tina asked excitedly "Again? You guys have done a Britney Week before? That's awesome" I said, nudging Sam beside me "You really came into your own during the last Britney Week. You showed us the best of Britney. Youth, energy, confidence. She inspires you, and you inspire us" Mr. Schue said, speaking mainly to Brittany "So everyone prepares a Britney song for the week, and we're gonna pick one to do for the pep rally. And I've asked Blaine and Artie to give us a little taste of what we're looking for" "Whoo! That's my boyfriend!" I called out, pointing at Blaine as he got up. He blushed slightly and blew a kiss to me "You guys are so lovey-dovey it makes me sick" Tina muttered bitterly "This one's for you, Brittany" Blaine said, smiling encouragingly.
Boys / Boyfriend — Britney Spears Ft. Pharrell Williams / Justin Bieber (Sung By Artie & Blaine)
During the song, Blaine and Artie leaned back in their chairs, and Blaine made eye contact with me. I blushed deeply as he winked and did a small little wave at him "So Britt, what'd you think?" Artie asked when the song finished "I'm once again inspired by the awesomeness of Britney. Thanks, Mr. Schue" Brittany said as the bell rung "That was incredibly sexy" I whispered to Blaine as we walked out of the choir room together "Well, that is what I was going for" He whispered back, kissing my cheek "School's over now, my parents aren't home, how about we go back to my place?" "As much as I would love to, and I really would, I have to get to work. I'll come over when I'm finished, okay?" Blaine nodded, smiling but I could tell he was a little disappointed "I'm sorry babe, I love you" "I love you too" He said, giving me a quick kiss before I ran off to my car.
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Tina and I had been practicing our own
Britney's song and were to perform it in Glee Club. We had even made up our own little dance to do whilst singing (with the help of Mike over Skype), which was easier than the one in Britney's original video "All right Glee Club, today we have Tina and Naya" Mr. Schue sad, waving Tina and I up to the front. We grabbed two chairs and took them to the front. Turning the back of the chairs to face the front of the class, we sat on the chairs backward and nodded to the band. The music started and I caught Blaine's eye, I winked at him and blew him a little kiss.
Circus — Britney Spears (Sung By Naya & Tina)
[Tina]
There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain and the ones that observe
Well, baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl
Don't like the backseat, gotta be first (Oh, oh)
[Tina & Naya]
I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots (Call the shots)
I'm like a firecracker, I make it hot
When I put on a show
[Naya]
I feel the adrenaline movin' through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
[Tina & Naya]
All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
Just like a circus
[Naya]
There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared
So, baby, I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship, so beware
[Tina & Naya]
I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots (I call the shots)
I'm like a firecracker, I make it hot
When I put on a show
[Tina]
I feel the adrenaline movin' through my veins
Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same
[Tina & Naya]
All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
Just like a circus
[Naya]
Let's go
Let me see what you can do
I'm runnin' this (Like-like-like-like a circus)
Yeah, like a what? (Like-like-like-like a circus)
[Tina & Naya]
All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
Just like a circus
All eyes on me in the center of the ring
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin' me, follow me
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor
Just like a circus.
The song ended with a round of applause and cheers from the Club. I looked over at Britney but she just looked emotionless, eating a bag of Cheetos. I sighed and flicked my hair over the shoulder "Well, girls that was great, thank you" Mr. Schue said, coming over to us. I got up out of my crouched position and helped Tina up. I went and grabbed my bag, walking out with Blaine as the bell rang. He pulled me closer to him as we walked through the halls and towards the courtyard together "Okay, has this turned into a competition between us?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders "What do you mean?" I asked, smirking "A competition of who can make the other blush more? Because if so, you know I'll win" "I doubt it, I'm pretty sure I just beat you. I saw that blush when I danced over by your chair during the song" "And I saw your blush when I sang my song, you know when I leaned back in the chair and winked. I believe you said yourself that it was 'incredibly sexy!'" "It was, but I was better" "If you say so" "Are you telling me that performance wasn't sexy?" "Oh, it was. But I was just sexier" "Impossible, I was" "So now it's a competition of who's sexier?" "Looks like it" "Well, I personally think this should be a physical competition," Blaine said with a wink "Good thing I have a car, huh?" I blushed brightly and bit my lip as he pulled me away from the courtyard and towards the parking lot.
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Marley and I walked down the halls of McKinley High, past that 'Jake' kid and Tina at his locker. I noticed Marley's head turn to look at him as we walked past and I smirked to myself. We came to an abrupt stop in front of Unique "So, here's the deal. We're both new girls here, and you were a new girl last year, and new girls need to stick together" Unique said, placing her hands on her hips "Cool" Marley and I both said simultaneously, making us chuckle "First order of bestie business: boys. Naya, I know you're dating Blaine but Marley, who've you go your eye on?" "Jake's kind of cute," Marley said shyly and I raised an eyebrow at her making an 'awww' sound "Oh, honey, no. Bad seed" Unique said, shutting me up "Come on. He's an artist" Marley said, blushing slightly "You mean pick-up artist. Marley, everywhere you go in this school, you see the wreckage of girls' hearts who thought the same thing as you. And he's only been in this school for two weeks" "Oh, come on, Unique. I'm sure he's not that bad" I said, placing my hand on Marley's shoulder "He's even been known to troll the girls' gym class" Unique added "Oh, no. That's bad. I take it back" I said, frowning slightly "Let me be clear. He's a womanizer" Suddenly music started to play out of nowhere and I groaned "Why do we always have to sing in the corridors?"
Womanizer — Britney Spears (Sung By Unique, Naya, Tina, Marley & McKinley's Female Gym Class)
"I swear this school is like Hogwarts or something, how the hell did we end up in the gym, in different clothes with a bunch of other girls?" I whispered to Tina when the song ended "The magic that is Glee Club" She whispered back. Unique tapped us both on the shoulders and we turned to see Marley, talking to Jake "We should hang out sometime" Jake said to Marley "Yeah. Yeah sure" She replied and he turned to leave "Girl, uh-uh" "Marley, no," I said, burying my head in my hands as Tina shook her head.
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3 — Britney Spears (Sung By Tina, Sam & Joe)
The song was interrupted as Mr. Schue ran over to Brittany, she had gotten out of her seat, walked over to a plug socket in a room, plugged in a razor, and was about to shave off her hair "Brittany, what are you doing?!" Mr. Schue shouted "Coach Sylvester's taken away my high pony. If I can't have my high pony, I don't want any hair at all" Brittany said, turning on the razor ad lifting it to her head "No!" Everyone shouted, I jumped out of my seat and ran over. Grabbing Brittany's wrist, I tried to force it down "Brittany! Britt! Stop! Stop!" Everyone was shouting as I tried to wrestle the razor out of her hand. Eventually, I managed to get the razor out of her hand and she ran out of the room. We—Blaine, Tina, Artie, and I—followed her, watching her get harassed by JBI. I went to help her but Blaine grabbed my hands, stopping me from getting involved. He shook his head sadly at me and adjusted his hand so it was interlocked with mine "Blaine, we should be doing something" I protested as Brittany beat JBI to the ground with an umbrella "No, he deserves it" Tina said, taking my other hand so I couldn't break away from them to help Brittany "You know, about Brittany's downward spiral, I think the whole singing-at-her thing isn't really helping" Blaine said, grimacing slightly at how brutally Britt was hitting JBI "Probably what she misses most about Cheerios is being in the spotlight. We should give her that"
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"Kiki, why is everyone in the Glee Club staring at me?" Brittany asked for her phone's version of Siri. The entire Glee club was standing, leaning up against the piano whilst Brittany sat in the seats "Because those fools are jealous" Brittany's phone said and I frowned "Who's Kiki?" Tina asked confusedly "Don't ask-" I said trying to stop her but I was too late "Kiki is Siri's super smart older cousin who's jealous of how famous Siri's gotten. She lives inside this super cheap phone I found at the Laundromat" "What size coffee is that?" Sam asked concernedly "Kiki, what size coffee am I drinking?" "You're drinking a settanta, 70 ounces of espresso" "Did she say 70 ounces?" I asked Blaine and Unique and they nodded worriedly "Thank you, Kiki. You're the only one that I can trust now that Santana's too busy for me" "Brittany, we're worried about you" Joe said worriedly "We know how hard it must have felt to get kicked off the Cheerios. We want to help you get back on your feet and start performing again" Blaine said encouragingly "You should be the lead performer at the pep assembly on Friday" Tina said, smiling hopefully "That's great, but there's only one problem. I have to lip-sync" "We don't lip-sync in Glee," Blaine said confusedly "Well, my voice is too weak to sing live. I've been up every night this week yelling at the shrubs in my yard that have been making fun of me" "This sounds like a terrible idea" Artie stated, looking over his shoulder at Blaine and I "I agree with Artie, this isn't going to end up going well" I said, rubbing the back of my neck nervously "We'll record the song in advance. I'll choreograph an amazing dance routine without having to worry about anybody running out of breath, and Mr. Schuester will never know the difference. Lots of performers do this now. Kristen Stewart, James Earl Jones. Kiki, is it a good idea for me to lip-sync at the pep assembly?" "It's not a good idea. It's a great idea" I sighed quietly and head-butted Blaine's shoulder; we weren't getting anywhere "Can I get you another settanta?"
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"Quiet, please, children. Shhhhhh, Welcome, children, to McKinley High's annual fall assembly, where we gather to celebrate teen pep. Before we begin, a few announcements. First and foremost, I wish to address the rumor that I like to be milked like a cow because my breasts are filled with delicious, wholesome milk. That rumor is untrue. And now, without further ado, it's time for a performance of music to be enjoyed by all" "Brittany, shouldn't you be stretching or warming up or something?" Blaine asked as Brittany sat on the stage behind the curtains, shoving Cheetos in her mouth "Do you need a baby wipe?" Tina asked, grimacing at the state of Brittany "You have Cheeto hands and Cheeto mouth" "I'm fine, thank you" Brittany said with her mouth full, still continuing to stuff another Cheeto in her mouth "This is going to be a disaster" I said, hanging my head "It is my honor to introduce McKinley High's New Directions!" Figgins announced to cheers from the audience. I quickly ran to my place and took a deep breath, praying this went okay "It's Britney, bitch"
Gimme More — Britney Spears (Sung By Brittany & The New Directions)
"They're lip-syncing!" Kitty shouted from the crowd "J'accuse!" Brett shouted and suddenly the crowd started booing. The performance had been going terribly, even before this point, Brittany had been putting in no effort and was drinking a massive bottle of soda on stage, whilst still eating Cheetos. The crowd booed louder and louder and Tina and I ran over to Blaine. Someone ran off stage, trying to turn off the music and Blaine left Tina and I, grabbing the curtain and pulling it back across the stage as Brittany dropped down onto the floor.
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"In the 58-year history of the William McKinley High School Glee Club, there has never been such a debacle! We do not lip-sync ever!" Mr. Schue said angrily, as we all sat in the choir room—still in our performance outfits as it was straight after the 'show' "We're sorry, Mr. Schue. We were just trying to help Brittany out" Blaine said, trying to justify what happened "Lip-syncing is the equivalent of blood doping in professional sports! Every gain we've made in the last three years has been wiped out. And I'm not just talking about our reputation here at McKinley. If the National Show Choir Board of Review gets wind of this, we could be barred from competing. What do you have to say for yourself, Brittany?" "To quote the legend herself, 'If I met me, I would say a quick hello and then think I was a really nice girl'. And I resign from Glee Club, effective immediately" Brittany said, standing up and walking out, shocking everyone.
__________
"Alright, okay. Let's give a big New Directions welcome to Jake Puckerman!" Mr. Schue announced, walking in with Jake "Puckerman? Why am I not surprised?" I whispered to Tina. She chuckled softly as Sam went running up to Jake "Hey, dude. Uh, I and your bro were practically best friends. Is it weird that I know him a lot better than you?" My eyes widened and I jumped over to them extending my hand out to Jake "Sam, shut up" I hissed, trying to stop him from talking about Puck "Hi, I'm Naya. Nice to officially meet you" Jake smiled slightly and accepted my handshake "Nice to meet you too, Naya" Joe came walking up to us and placed a hand on Jake's shoulder "Welcome, bro. God made you, and God doesn't make mistakes" He said ominously before walking away. Jake looked at him confusedly before walking away from me and going to sit down. I sat down next to Unique and leaned in close to her "Let's keep an eye on him, whether he's a Puckerman or not, we cannot let him break Marley's heart, she's too sweet" I whispered. I said, extending my hand out to her as a fist and sticking up my pinkie finger "Agreed" Unique said, linking her pinkie finger with mine. I stood back up again and went and sat down beside Blaine "Mr. Schuester" Marley said, putting her hand up "Yeah, Marley" "If it's all right, I'd like to sing one last Britney song" Marley said, her voice wavering slightly. I turned around to face her and placed a hand on her knee, giving her a look that said 'Are you okay?', she shrugged her shoulders in reply "Did that come out this morning? 'Cause, we've scraped the bottom of the Britney barrel" Artie said confusedly "Not exactly. This is one of my favorite songs" Marley said, going to sit on a stool at the front.
Everytime — Britney Spears (Sung By Marley)