to make things awkward | fillie

23 | millie's lies

It took Millie the entire trip to the private airport to know for sure that she wasn't going to cry when leaving Lucy with Finn. She knew she'd be back in three days, but something about driving away without her daughter to go to a city on the opposite coast made old emotions bubble up in her stomach. It was like when she handed her tiny newborn baby to the nurse to give to the Knoll's. The grief then was unyielding. At least this time she knew she'd be seeing her in 71 hours, 32 minutes, and 22 seconds. She wasn't ashamed that she had such a precise countdown in her head.

Lucy's pouting lip hadn't helped when she left though. It didn't matter that she was unsure whether it was for her or Noah, it just mattered that Lucy was sad and she wasn't able to fix it.

Once on the plane with her fiancé and best friend, she asked for a strong cocktail. She hadn't had a Dirty Shirley since the night Lucy was conceived, and she wasn't about to bring around those flavor memories right now, so she settled on a sweet and tangy amaretto stone sour.

Somewhere high over the middle of the United States, Noah came to sit next to her and said he'd arranged to meet up with Sadie while in LA. This helped to bring her out of her funk. She hadn't seen Sadie since—what—the late twenties? Catching up would be such a nice change of pace, although it would probably further inflame the rumors surrounding a Stranger Things reboot. But she'd rather rumors be about that than anything having to do with the truth. Once things were official, she'd release some statement and brave through the backlash, but that wasn't for another couple months.

Landing at LAX almost made Millie hurl up her alcohol, which she hated because of the way it burned, but she was able to keep it down and said her goodbyes to Noah, heading off to the hotel with Jake.

Jake had barely said two words to her the entire flight after she responded too strongly to him saying he was happy to finally have her to himself. She wasn't feeling the same way and felt he was being unempathetic. He used to read her so well. How could he not tell that she was hurting over not being with Lucy? It was hard enough knowing that Finn was connecting with their daughter better than she was, how was leaving going to help her catch up?

She apologized for her snippy comment even though Jake didn't seem remorseful in the slightest over his thoughtless one. But that didn't really matter once they got to their room. She was still buzzed, not so much that she'd have a huge hangover, but enough that it made her want to feel closer to Jake. She wanted to kiss him until their problems were rendered moot. For tonight, she wanted to give him what he wanted, her and only her. No mention of Finn, no argument over custody arrangements, no mention about the things that were slowly pulling at the fabric of their relationship thread by thread. Maybe one good night would mend it all. She could show him he was still a priority. Prove to herself that all her doubts and insecurities were wrong. That the things Noah told her wouldn't change anything. That the kiss she and Finn had shared really was nothing.

And so she did her best. And it was amazing. The best sex they'd had in years. And it seemed like maybe it was enough.

She rode that high all through the morning. Tagging along to Jake's meetings with the producers and being the supporting fiancée she always aimed to be. They were visibly disappointed to hear that she really didn't want to sign on to the role and asked why. She gave them a contrived response that they bought completely.

Until lunch with Sadie and Noah, Millie had been feeling this trip was more successful than she thought it would be. If three days could heal her and Jake, maybe the price of losing three days with Lucy was worth it.

But then she saw Sadie striding across the dining room of Aster's, a modern French-Italian fusion bistro, with her four year-old daughter at her side.

Millie and Noah stood to greet them and Sadie wrapped them both in warm hugs.