Royalty || Anakin Skywalker x Reader

24 - A Blind Fool

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(y/n)'s POV
"Now place your foot there—no not there, there," Piett spoke low from below the terrace.

"How on earth am I supposed to understand where exactly you are referring to by simply saying there." Ahsoka snapped, "You can say left, right, lower, higher—really anything other than there."

"I am pointing." He clarified with a hint of attitude to his tone.

"My back is to you!"

Anakin chuckled as we watched the pair argue, "Any louder and they're going to get caught."

Caught. The word rung in my head over and over again. What would happen if him and I were to get caught? What we were doing, the late visits, the kisses that make my heart scream—they were risky. Too risky.

I spent a great deal with Anthony today and he is exquisite. Truly a wonderful man with a heart as big as mine when it comes to the people. And I like him, I do really like him. It is not love, but maybe one day I can learn to love him.

So what on earth am I doing? What was I just about to do? I was going to fully give myself, and a mistake that would have been a slap in the face to all the royal women before me who waited until the day they married their husbands. I have been a fool, a blind fool.

"She made it to the floor, with only a small scratch it seems," Anakin took me from my epiphany and placed his hand on my back, leading me back into my bedroom. He closed the balcony doors and secured them, "Now," He faced me with a smile, "Shall we get back to what we were doing before being rudely interrupted?"

I backed away from his hand that reached towards me. He knitted his brows, seeming confused by my sudden distance, "We could have gotten caught ourselves Ani. If you had not noticed something was off, Ahsoka would have heard whatever we were about to do."

"She would not have told on us." His smile returned and he reached for me once more, his fingertips trailing along my forearm asking to be let in.

Goosebumps arose from his touch and I felt like such a school girl with a crush as my heart fluttered, "That's—" He moved closer, his hand now finding it's way to my waist. It took everything in my power to do what I did next. I stepped back. His expression immediately faltered into confusion and hurt, "That's not the point." I finished, "This needs to stop, we can not let this continue. It will only lead us to heart break or worse."

"I do not care what repercussions follow, I love you." The desperation in his voice was haunting, I almost felt sick. I wanted to kiss him, to take away the sadness that is completely my fault.

I blinked away my tears, "You should. What if you are banished? Then we would never see each other again."

He clenched his jaw, "Death would better than watching you fall in love with someone else. Marry someone else. Have..." He took a heavy breath, "Have children, with someone else. I have tried to accept it all, but I just can not. It is agonizing."

I blinked in realization of where his mind truly was, "Anakin," I whispered, tears now breaking free and streaming down my cheeks, "That is something that has to be accepted."

His lips parted, but whatever words he had remained stuck in his throat.

"We do not get to have each other in this lifetime Ani." Saying this stung. My heart is unfair for loving someone I can never fully have, life is unfair , "As much as I would want it to be with you—"