Wife Series #6: Last Flight Home (PaperInk Imprints Collaboration) | COMPLETED

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

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Binabalot ako ng kaba sa aking dibdib habang naghihintay sa doktor na siyang nakatoka sa aming IVF. Nanlalamig pa ang mga kamay ko at mukhang ganoon din si Enzo na nakaupo sa solo sofa chair sa gilid ng kinahihigaan kong hospital bed. Parang lalo yatang pumuputla ang mukha niya dahil sa mangyayaring kaganapan.

Sabagay ay kahit sino'y kakabahan kapag nasa actual IVF na, eh. Mukha lang siyang mabilis gawin at balita ko'y painless din ito, pero kahit ganoon, pakiramdam ko ay tutusukin pa ako ng pagkalaki-laking karayom.

Hindi naman na ako magpapakahipokrita. Aaminin ko namang may pagkalandi ako't bago ako mapadpad kay Enzo ay medyo mataas-taas na rin ang body count ko kumpara sa average, pero kahit pa. Iba naman ang tusok na 'yon sa tusok ng karayom (kung may karayom nga ba naman talaga). Parang gusto ko na lang mamaalam bigla, pero hindi. Kailangan matapang ako!

"Mahal, huwag ka namang ganiyan. Pati ako, kinakabahan sa 'yo, eh," kumento ni Enzo nang ilang minuto na ang lumipas ay hindi pa rin ako mapakali't matahimik. "Mas maputla ka pa sa akin, eh. Ikalma mo naman. Relax ka lang, please," dagdag pa niya.

Napaismid ako. "Sino ba naman kasing hindi kakabahan? Ikaw ba naman magbuntis na walang coitus. Parang m-in-agic lang ang peg."

"Anong m-in-agic ka riyan?" He laughed and lightly flicked my forehead. "Adik ka. Relax ka lang kasi. 'To parang 'di sawa sa coitus no'ng malakas pa ako, eh."

"Basta iba 'yon! Feeling ko, papasukan ako ng imaginary ti—" Naputol ang gusto ko pa sanang sabihin nang bigla niya na lamang takpan ang bibig ko't nag-"shh" pa habang tumatango.

"Oo na, oo na. Masyado ka nang maraming nalalaman." He let go of my mouth and rested his head on my lap. He closes his eyes as I caresses his hair gently. "Are you really that nervous?"

Saglit akong tumahimik, nag-iisip ng tamang mga salitang gagamitin upang sagutin ang katanungan niyang iyon. Kinakapa ang sariling damdamin at nararamdaman.

"Hindi naman sa 'badly nervous', ha. Kinakabahan ako in a good way. Para akong na-e-excite na ewan. Basta ganoon. Naiintindihan mo ba ako?" I answered and let out a small, shallow laugh.

"Of course," he replied with a smile.

He held my hand and once again, kissed the back of my palm. Even after all this years, I still feel like there's an electric crawling into my skin whenever his lips touches my skin. It never changed nor fades.

Siguro'y may mga panahon lang na parang mahina ito dahil tulad ng karamihang magkasintahan at mag-asawa, nawawala rin ang kilig. Hindi palaging nandoon 'yon. The point is that, will you stay even if that 'kind of spark' is no longer there until it comes back again or not?

And even after all these years, I can say that I'm so glad that I stayed beside him. The insecurities, what ifs, inevitable fights, uncomplacents, and overthinkings— we've conquered them all and reached this far.

"Are you happy?" I asked him.

He immediately nods, not even hesitated for just a glimpse millisecond. "Everything is hard, but you make it bearable. I'm so happy with you. . ."

THAT TIME, our day ended after successfully took In Virto Fertizilation. As of the moment, we just have to wait for the possible results that may come.

Our lives continue after that. Just as normal routine, Enzo be living inside the hospital while his recovery continues, and I continued to work as a midwife trying to balance my time with my profession, with taking care of myself and my husband, and also trying to gain back my missing drive in writing novels.

But today's different. Maaga akong umalis sa trabaho no'n kahit hindi pa tapos ang duty ko dahil naka-receive ako ng emergency call galing sa doktor ni Enzo. Bigla na lang akong tinamaan ng walang hanggang kaba dahil doon. Pilit kong kinukumbinsi ang sarili kong ayos lang ang asawa ko kahit pa natatabunan ako ng walang hanggang pag-aalala, pag-o-overthink, at takot.

Pagdating ko sa ospital ay kaagad akong dumiretso sa opisina ni Dr. Grey katulad ng bilin nito. Mangiyak-ngiyak pa ako nang makarating ako roon. Naabutan ko siyang nakatingin sa screen ng kaniyang computer, may ballpen na nakaipit sa kaniyang mga daliri, habang nakaalalay ang kaniyang kamay sa kaniyang chin. Bakas ang laki ng eyebags niya dahil yata sa puyat.

"Doc.?" tawag ko na nakapukaw ng kaniyang atensyon. Tinuro nito ang upuan sa kaniyang harapan na agad ko namang tinungo. Naaatat akong marinig ang kaniyang sasabihin. Gusto kong matapos na ito kaagad.

"You see, Mrs. Villarin, heart cancer is one of the rarest cancers we could ever encounter," he started before turning his computer monitor to my direction. Doon ay nakita ko ang isang ECG result na sigurado naman akong kay Enzo. "He's healing, beating cancer. Though he's not cleared yet, I can assure you that he's getting better than before."

My heart almost jumped in happiness. Tears started running down on my cheeks and I can't help but weep in front of my husband's doctor who just smiled at me and handed me some tissues.

It's a good news. A very good news. Hindi man siya fully healed o masasabing cancer free, at least he's healing and getting better. Every little progress is still a progress. I'm so thankful for that. Little by little, it seems like all the tears I cried and all the aches my heart beat are becoming worth it. Those restless nights and sleepless mornings. Every nervousness and deprivation of hopes— all of them are starting to get paid.

Thank you, self, for not giving up on him.

"He'll continue with medications and cycle of therapies. If everything gets better, chances of being an out-patient is high." Muli niyang inayos ang kaniyang computer monitor bago ipinagpatuloy ang kaniyang sinasabi. "Relapse is most likely, kaya mag-iingay pa rin. Hindi natin masisiguro ang mga posibilidad. Cancer is a traitor. I know you know that, Mrs. Villarin."

I nod at what he said before bidding my goodbye. I immediately run to Enzo's room and to my surprise, I found him playing his favorite mobile game with his kuya Eros and my youngest sibling— Chloe. My mom is also there peeling oranges.

"Oh, nandito na pala, eh," sambit ni Mama dahilan para mabaling ang kanilang atensyon sa akin.

"Paano kayo napunta rito?" tanong ko na napakusot pa ng mga mata upang masigurong hindi ako nag-iilusyon.

"Pinasundo ko sila kay kuya Eros. Baka kasi na-mi-miss mo na rin sila, eh. Nabanggit mo rin kasi no'ng nakaraan na gusto mong ilabas si Chloe kung may pagkakataon ka kaya ayun," Enzo answered with a smile.

Napatingin ako kay kuya Eros na sumaludo lamang sa akin saka gigil na gigil na bumalik sa pagpipindot ng kaniyang phone. Lalo lamang akong naiiyak. We are not the most welcoming family ever. We aren't perfect. Hindi kami madalas nagkakasundo, but I know to myself that to hard times and downfalls, they never left my side even if sometimes, I feel a little alone and longing.

"Eto naman si Ate, parang ayaw kami kasama," hirit ni Chloe na ikinatawa na lamang sila.

Before I can ever react, Enzo suddenly stood up and opened his arms wide. Tears streams down my face upon hearing what he said, "Come, my love. Let's heal together."

So I run and hugged him as tight as I could like I'm gonna lose him.

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asereneko.