LET ME WALK YOU TO JANNAH

Chapter 10

Four months later...

I was nervous and panicking. Sweat beads formed on my forehead.
Bismillah.  I recited some dua. It was going to be my first day at work. Alhamdullilah I finally got a job at a small restaurant as a chef. Finding the job was the hardest part and after months of praying and searching God helped me find one.

Nothing was more heartbreaking to me than getting declines from Jobs because they thought I was incapable. They thought I wasn't qualified just because my limbs were immobilized. The double check they would give me when they saw that I was on a wheel chair made me feel like burying myself.

"Here, drink this coffee to keep you energetic for your first day." Lateefa brought me a cup of hot coffee.
I slowly sipped the coffee letting the caffeine run into my body buzzing me with energy.

"They are going to see how great you are. You know you are gifted and literally good at everything you get your hands on." Lateefa squeezed my hand reassuring me.

                  ****
The manager of the Belden restaurant asks me to get straight into work under supervision of another chef. She is a sweet lady in her early twenties.
"Am Fariha, your co-worker." She stretches her hand with a smile playing on her lips and I shake it mumbling my name to her.

She helps me around while I prepare my first meal. After tasting the meals and ensuring that it had just the needed amount of ingredients, I removed my hand gloves and prepare for the 'taste it' session. I utter a small prayer under my breath as the manager with two other men come to the kitchen to taste my food.

I crossed my fingers as they scooped the meals with spoons. They chew the food one meal after another with expressionless faces.

"Wow. Mashaalah your cooking skills is quite impressive." A man says and the manager agrees with him. I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Fariha jumps up and claps her hand. She bents down and gives me a hug muttering "congratulation" to me.
"Even though I wasn't allowed to taste your cookings I could just see from how you were preparing that you are skilled at it." Fariha compliments gets me in tears as I shyly utter "thank you" under my breath.

I was later told what time I was suppose to enter and leave the job and with that I booked a taxi back 'home'.
As I entered through the main gate, I stopped reeling my wheelchair forward. I saw Shahzad sitting with Lateefa distress written all over his face. It was 2 full months since he visited us. As if sensing my gaze they both turn towards me but Shahzad quickly looks away nervously while Lateefa smiles at me.

I reel my wheelchair upto where they are sitting and mutter "Assalam Aleykum."

They both reply to my greetings in unison.

"How was your interview." Lateefa asks .

"Alhamdullilah it went good am starting officially work tomorrow." I say trying to keep the excitement in my voice at minimum.

"Alhamdullilah. Join us and have tea." Lateefa proposes and I slightly glance at Shahzad. He looks different and uneasy.

"Shukran..just carry on I need to freshen up." I politely decline the offer and reel my wheelchair away. Am not very far from them, atleast not out of earshot when Shahzad whispers, "how's she coping with everything? Did she finally move on?" I reel my wheelchair faster.

Coping up. I will never
Because pieces of myself I have lost
Losing my loved ones, nothing more worst
What do I have remaining to hold on to
Just waiting for the day I reunite with them

I wipe away the tears that started to flow when I see Rabiha walking upto me. She sits on the bed next to me.
"So how is your work?" she asks smiling.  I stare at her or more like stare at my reflection in her big glasses that she always wears. Rabiha is beautiful young blind woman and her family disowned her at young age out of shame when she lost her sight.

I tell you this world grows dark! I love her. She is joyous even though she is definitely masking her pain under this big smile.

"It was good Alhamdullilah. I will officially start tomorrow." I tell her. Her smile is so big, contagious and beautiful.
She reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

"Am happy for you Habibty." She whispers with her sweet voice.

               *****
"So why are you awake this late? Tomorrow you are going work right?" Lateefa's voice startled me out of my reverie.

"I woke up just an hour ago to pray Tahajud. Then I decided to have a few more minutes just out hear under this beautiful moon." I point at the beautiful full moon.

"The nightmares woke you right?" Lateefa asks her voice laced with sadness. I nodd my head. She knows me too well.

"Are you taking your medication?"

"Yes, it isn't as effective as it use to be."

"I think you are experiencing drug tolerance. We shall consult Shahzad." She says.

"No. He looked stressed today, don't disturb him." I repudiate instantly.

"No. Am sure he won't mind...he is just a little stressed about this girl he loves to marry." Lateefa says thoughtfully, her eyes distant.

"Why doesn't he just marry her then," I wondered out loud. "I thought he was already married." I added.

"No. He never found 'the girl of his dreams' as he referred to it. He is nice guy and nice guys have trouble finding love."

"I think any girl would kill to be his wife. He is a doctor which is the honourable job for a man, he is nice and not bad looking." I surprised myself with this description as his face flashed at the back of my mind.

"Yah, I know she will be lucky to have him if she only accepts him. He said something about her being different from any other woman. He fears that she will reject him." Lateefa sighed and one look at her you will know that she was grieving for his heart, the heart of a guy she loved like her own son.

"May Allah make things easy for him." I prayed.