LET ME WALK YOU TO JANNAH

Chapter 14

The moon was already out giving a soft glow to the dark sky. The wind was blowing softly and calmly. I was sitting with Lateefa and we were both sipping ginger tea when we heard the bolt of a car door getting shut.

I shut my eyes knowing the guest that had arrived. I braced myself for what I had to face.
At the corner of my eyes, I saw him enter through the gate and walk to us. I knew he was watching me even with the distance between us, I could feel his eyes were set on me.

I muttered prayers under my breath. Doubt was still clinging into my heart refusing to let go.

"Assalam aleykum." I lifted my eyes to find Shahzad smiling down at Lateefa before he lowered himself and pecked her on the forehead. I watched him in awe mesmerized by the respect and love he carried for a woman he shared no blood with.

"Waleykum salaam. We were waiting for you." Lateefa said dusting off the dried leaves that had fallen on the chair next to her. Shahzad sat down and cleared his throat. "Sorry if I kept you waiting. I thought if I came here before Isha prayers, I would miss the congregational prayer." That was thoughtful. There was no nearby mosques here since most of the residents were non muslims.

There was a moment of silence after we exchanged greetings. The only sound coming from above us, the branches of the tree moving against the wind. Shahzad was watching me waiting for me to open the discussion.

"Ameera. Am here for an answer. I think you wanted us to talk." His voice was low almost impossible to hear.

I took in a gulp of air, swallowing as much oxygen as my lung could carry.
"Shahzad," I said his name to call for attention and it worked. Instantly he raised his eyes to meet mine and took an audible breath as if my answer could either mend or break his heart.
"don't you thing you are making a haste decision, a careless one I might say in seeking me?" Shahzad leaned forward as if challenging me to continue my speech.

"I have never in my life made a decision without going it through several time and analysing the possible outcome. And this," he motioned between us. "I have given it enough thought and sought Allah's guidance. Am ready for anything that might come on our way. Am accepting any challenge we might face." I was taken back by his answer and the sincerity that oozed from his words.

"Why?" I asked. Shahzad frowned his eyebrows drawned together not understanding my question. "Why me? don't you see that am crippled?" Tears started blinding my vision and I blinked to clear my view.

Shazed turned his face to the side closing his eyes briefly with his chest rising and falling. His hand fisted into a ball before he returned to being  nuetral and gazed into my eyes. "The heart doesn't need reasons to love. My heart was searching until it found yours. I can't hold it anymore, this heart is not big enough to contain all this love. Love must be shared and I want you to be my half. I know what you have been through. I know accepting me isn't easy on your part. A chance is all I need my love." I was stunned, thrown off guard. I struggled to breath. It was as if I was punched in the gut and I didn't knew that words could have the power to sieze air from the lungs until now.

I dropped my head staring at the ground, tongue tied. I couldn't fathom anything. I couldn't grasp why someone who barely knows me will claim to have feelings for me.
"You don't know me. I might hurt your feelings. I can't reciprocate your love. I might break your heart." I meant every word , every sentence. I never thought of him as anything more than a humble nice doctor.

"Give it a chance. I don't expect you to have the exact feelings that I carry for you. Just accept me and together in marriage we will build love. I will teach you how to love me." His eyes were as desperate as his words.
"Do you hate me?" He suddenly asked.

"No. Infact I like you that's why I want what is best for you. You deserve someone better and any woman would kill to be with you." He chuckled but in his laughter there was no mirth and it was a hollow laugh.

"If any woman would kill to be with me why can't I have you? Why can't I have the person my heart desires so badly? If you like me enough why aren't you giving us a chance?" He was staring into my soul as if he could dig the answers within me.

"Because am scared of breaking your heart." I whispered.

"Don't you think you are shattering my heart already?" He said softly as if speaking to himself then he shook his head. "Am sorry Ameera if am pushing you to the wall. It is just that my emmotions are taking control over me. Am sorry, I hope I can have your forgiveness. I completely undertand if you don't want us to happen. I understand if you don't want me. I think I knew your answer from the beginning but I was dumb enough to be hopeful." He stood up his eyes brewing with emmotions. "I should take my leave." He glanced over to Lateefa nodded at her. We were so immersed in our talk that we had forgotten about Lateefa who was silently witnessing everything happen.

"But you didn't hear my answer yet." I said making Shahzad stop in his track.
"My answer is yes. Am ready to take this chance with you." I said with my heart beating taking both Shahzad and Lateefa by surprise.