Twin Flames

Chapter Two

The Queens Arms was my local pub. It was a diverse place to have a pint after work. I wasn't an alcoholic, but I did frequently spend many nights here in the early days of my abandonment. Drinking was like a salve to the open wound that was constantly bleeding. I simply drunk away the pain, the anger, always wanting to forget what happened in the past. Many nights of intoxication always resulted in the landlady Samantha carrying me to my local taxi. She would try to stop or reduce my intake of alcohol, only to be met with my strong resistance and my aggressive behaviour, with me often telling her to mind her own business.

I am honestly surprised that I never got kicked out or barred from the place. Samantha had saved me on more than one occasion from situations that I never meant to be in. This place become a home to me. The old retired men would tell me stories about their childhood, they would share their woe for their friends and wives that had died. Most of them had attended funerals every week, the people in their lives were dropping like flies.

I pulled up my stall to the bar, it was my usual spot. It was in the corner and no matter what I could sit by idly and watch every corner of the pub. People watching was something that I had always done, I would be fascinated by their actions and gestures. Once upon a time, Katie and me would sit by and make up stories about what they were saying. I shook my head of unwanted memories as grim smile settled on my face.

"Hey Dollface." Sam greeted in her thick heavy Essex accent. In her hand was a pint of my usual. She had a large smile on her face, something that she never failed to do. There she stood in a large navy knitted jumper and some leggings. I was pretty sure she was wearing her knock-off Ugg boots. She was the type of woman whose personality was bigger than life.

"Thanks." I said with a nod of the head as I brought the cold beer to my lips. My mouth was salivating at the taste of the well deserved pint. I couldn't help but take a couple more of gulps down, hoping that it will numb the ache in my chest.

"Easy there Doll." Sam warningly responded. I could see from the look on her face that she didn't want me to drink myself into oblivion. I don't know what it is about bar staff but the majority of them could go into training to be a therapist. There was simply something easy going about letting all your woes go to a barmaid who would never remember your name. "Take it easy." She finished.

I simply gave a nod as the screeching of the bar chair next to me was pulled out. James simply sat beside me and ordered his usual Jack Daniels and Coke. "So how are you feeling?"

I can't help but raise my brow at his stupid question. I couldn't even tell myself how I was feeling. It was the stupidest question to ask. I could feel the tears wanting to form in the corners of my eyes and drop but I just couldn't do it. I was stronger than this. These were people that didn't deserve my tears. I had spent to many years crying over the past. They didn't deserve my future.

"Fine James. I'm just fine." I said with a forced smile.

"Good, good. That's what I like to hear." He replied. His blonde hair was slicked back with gel. His pale white skin contrasted against his deep blue eyes. Dressed in a pair of black trousers, he had forgone the tie and was now casually wearing his white shirt which was now untucked from his trousers. "You know it's alright to not be okay." He said in a reassuring tone.

"James I'm fine. I appreciate you following me to cemetery but there was no need. I have let go of them a long time ago. I simply went for closure." I explained before swigging my beer.

"For closure huh?" James tone was rather unconvinced by my statement. "If you were looking for closure, shouldn't you have spoken to your family."

"No." I snapped back. "There is nothing left for us to say to each other. I simply went to pay my respects. There's nothing more to it.

James snorted. "Pay respects? You hate Katie, you've not had any respect for that girl for years."

I jolted my chair back, giving James the most seething look in my arsenal. "Just don't talk anymore." With that I chugged the rest of my beer down and maid my way to the bathroom.