Writing with a Purpose: Summer Edition

1. 5/24/15

This "story" of some sort starts on the third day of summer. Honestly, summer started off really well. I had a pretty good last day of school and after school, I went to a graduation pool party with my boyfriend (you'll probably be hearing a lot about him through the course of each of my passages). Just yesterday, I saw him too. As always, such a good time. But as I was saying, Today wasn't the best of days.

The morning started with my father, I call him "Lumberjack Dad" on all of my social networking sites, waking me up for church. An activity in which I don't particularly enjoy taking part in. I drag myself out of bed, sitting on the floor contemplating what I'm going to wear. I don't like dressing up as much I used to, especially not for church. Why would I get fancy for something that will only last an hour? God doesn't care about what I wear, as long as I'm there "praising" him right? Dressing up for church is just a show for people which I don't want any part of. So I dress in regular clothes, nothing too glamorous but still well put.

The church is a predominantly white people church. I have no problem with white people or ANY races for that matter but lets face it, me being a Puerto Rican surrounded by white people or blacks that are "white washed"... I just don't fit in. I feel like an alien at that church. I feel like an alien in any Church in general. It's just an environment I can never get used to. Anyway, after church my parents and siblings are going to some lame pool party at my mom's fake ass friend's house. It's for her son, which is around the age of 9 or 10 I'm assuming so of course I'm not down to go. I'm DESPERATELY searching for a friend that is free to hangout, that way I'm not stuck home but of course, EVERYONE is busy. With work or friends. That's when the sad realization that I have no job, no money, and I'm going to be stuck with my younger siblings babysitting for 90% of my summer sinks in once again.

I have struggled these past months to find a job like LITERALLY a laser tag place I applied for sent me a letter and told me they didnt accept me but gave me two gift certificates cause they totally though that would make me feel better. Right. THE CERTIFICATES DON'T EVEN GIVE ME ANY PERCENTAGE OFF OR FREE GAME, NOTHING!! I don't understand the point of that.

So after a upsetting talk with my parents, in which my mother attempted to make me feel better by saying she would give me money for babysitting since I'm not working, my mood was definitely killed. I just feel so crushed. It's summer and I'm a really hard worker and I'm so serious when it comes to working, like it shouldn't be THIS hard to find a job. I'm slowly loosing hope in finding work.

Being the emotional bitch I am, some of my mood swings my boyfriend had to brave through and since I was so upset, I literally decided not to even talk to him or use my phone at all (not cause anything he did). I cried mostly cause I was feeling terrible about myself and how disappointed I am that I can't get a job mostly cause I have to stay home and watch my siblings since my parents don't wanna do me a solid and pay for daycare so I can work and they need to work too. Then I went and watched Forrest Gump for the second time now and still managed to cry my heart out. I just imagine how he must have felt and how much of a bitch Jenny was!! It does something to me, ya know?

But anyway, while my parents were out. I was home alone for a couple of hours, just watching movies, eating a little bit of food here and there, and laying on the couch while my two big dogs slept on me. Their snores and twitches from dreams always make me laugh in some way. Since that conversation, I haven't really been in a good mood all day. Just been down and feeling alone when I decided hey, why not share my life with the world. I know my nosy ass loves to read into people's lives. It's kind of like stepping in their shoes, and living their life through their words. So even though this story of mine may not have been the most positive of entries, I give to you my life; in an app.