Writing with a Purpose: Summer Edition

11. 6/7/15 - CONT.

Today was something else, I tell you.
For starters, we didn't even go to Six Flags cause my parents didn't wake up early to wake us up. When my siblings and I finally woke up around 12 something, my dad decided to change plans and informed us that we were going to the zoo.

I wasn't exactly happy about this, mostly because I don't really find zoo's fun anymore. You walk around and see animals locked up in a painted habitat and take pictures. They just lay there, probably wishing to be in their natural habitat. I decided to just look past my negative thoughts and try to enjoy a day out, especially in the city. Problem was that everyone took forever to get ready so by the time we would get there, it would be too late. So another plan out the window.

Let me tell you that I already knew that it was going to be a bad day. I can just sense it now. My mother and I got in an argument because she says I was having "attitude" and "ignoring them." She also ever-so-nicely threw in that "I don't do shit in the house" and "You clean but then I have to clean everything when I get home." This infuriated me. Honestly, I've been doing really good at not talking back to my parents and just doing what they want me to do. I don't give them a hard time. She threatened me in midst of our argument and said "If you keep on with this attitude, you're going to be restricted," this can be translate to: "If you keep having an attitude, I wont let you go hangout with Brenon." At that point, I automatically thought okay she is doing too much. I went off and yelled at her basically saying how I'm with her [damn] kids every freaking day which is true. The fact that I have to babysit literally everyday of my life (besides weekends) restrains me from doing certain things I would like to enjoy in my life. For example, I wanted to join track this year. Being that practice is everyday after school, I wasn't able to join because my dad doesn't want to pick up my siblings and I have to watch them since he doesn't. Just lovely. Basically I can't join anything in school which sucks because I would like to be apart of a cool group or team of people and have fun, do something new, and build relationships. But NO, I am deprived of that. So yeah, we had an argument in which my mother always tried to be right even when she's wrong; The usual. The whole conversation didn't sit well with me, so I stormed off to my room and teared up a little. The fact that I was tearing only made me more upset because I hate crying. I feel so weak when I do so.

At this point, I wanted to stay home and lock myself up in my room, especially since we weren't doing anything fun. We were all hungry, so we went to a Mexican restaurant. I ordered some steak and rice. After having a good meal, I definitely felt better. My parents also made last minute plans to go to the pool at our family friend's neighborhood.

We met up with my cousin Sasha and and her mom, along with her little brother. I stood with all the kids around my age.

I tried to tan but felt uncomfortable flipping over for my ass to show, especially since my cousin invited her guy friends who just so happen to know my boyfriend. It just wasn't a comfortable setting for me so now I probably have an uneven tan, being that I only laid on my back.

We hung out at the pool for a couple hours which wasn't exactly a ton of fun for me. There's a billion other things that I would much rather have had the pleasure of doing than what I wasted my day doing today. We then drove home and I spent these past hours laying on the floor in my mess of a room listening to music and enjoying alone time. It was pretty great, being so alone.

Actually, it's kind of sad that I've grown so accustomed to being alone. Being alone in my room with nothing but music playing often times soothes me though. It's like my little escape from everything that makes me mad, or my parents and siblings, or from my obligations. I just plug my phone to my speakers and raise the volume till I'm unable to hear the outside world anymore. Just the music.

Now that, feels good.