Lost Soul

Hardest to love

When Harry woke up the next morning, he felt like he was about to cry. He took a deep breath and tried to regain himself, watching Louis asleep.

Those thin lips had explored his whole body last night, leaving passionate kisses. His now-closed eyes had killed him with his gaze last night. His hands... They were all over his body, leaving Harry breathless. But there was only one thing Harry wanted to know right now: Did Louis really mean all those words he said last night? Were all those things real that made Harry moan louder?

I love you, you're so beautiful, you take my breath away, looking at you makes me feel like I'm going to lose my mind...

Harry could die in this bed if Louis wasn't being honest. Right here, in his favorite place, between Louis' arms, he could die. He caressed Louis' soft hair in case this was his last chance. He ran his fingers over Louis' cheekbones. When Louis suddenly opened his eyes, he withdrew his hand in fear. What would happen now? What was he supposed to do or say?

"Good morning." murmured Louis.

"What happened last night?"

What an entrance, Harry scolded himself.

"Do you want me to tell you what it means in the dictionary or define it in my own words?" ' Louis asked with a grin.

"You know very well what I mean?"

"No, I do not know."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"You ask how Dorian was created?" asked Louis

Harry's eyes sparkled. He wasn't asking this, but he wanted to know the answer to that too.

"Yes."

"Let me explain... I am not the child of the man my mother was married to. The man hated me. He treated me like I was an insect. My mother always took his side in order not to lose her one and only love... I started living in my friends' families house when things at home reached the level I couldn't bear. But sometimes I had nowhere to go. I felt so lonely. I guess that's why it happened."

Harry's eyes softened.

"Really?" he asked trembling. But all his sadness dissipated when Louis laughed.

"No, it not a real story. But admit it, you wanted it that way. You wanted me to be hurt. You wanted Dorian to have a reason. But he doesn't. I'm like this because I want to be like that. Dorian exists because I wanted to."

"Why do you always do this?" cried Harry, getting up from the bed. "Why do you always play games with me and break my heart all the time? Can't you stop all this nonsense and try to love me?"

"I warned you, Harry. There's no point in saying it. Just admit it. You choose to sleep with me when there are millions of people out there. You're getting ready for my movie when there are thousands of directors you can work with. You love me. You want me. Even after the first night you watched me in front of the window. You loved me and you love me."

"This is ridiculous. I'm not acting normal at all." said Harry, taking his head in his hands.

"It's okay Harry. Normal is boring. It doesn't mean anything. You're not normal and neither am I. We're different and we're happy. Why do you beat yourself up for stuff like that?"

He was right. What he said was true, word by word. What was between Louis and Harry was very different from what normal people would call love. It was something that many people would not accept.

Louis would never bring  flowers for Harry or make sweet surprises to him. But Harry didn't want that either. Their love was different. They couldn't explain. It was something special for them... It was enough for them. At least it was enough for Harry.

"And there's one more thing. We both know very well that no one can love you like I do."

Harry wanted to talk. He meant to say Dorian will never love you as much as I do. But he stopped. If he did, nothing would change. Sometimes it's best to be quiet.