"We are gathered here today in the presence of God, our friends and loved ones to celebrate one of life's most beautiful moments. To appreciate the value and beauty of love..."
They were getting married. In just a few minutes, Harry would give up his own last name. He was scared, trembling with fear. People thought he was just excited. Louis had planned a alfresco wedding. A wedding among the trees whose branches reach the sky. A natural wedding between the blue sky and the earth. As if their relationship was so natural...
Harry liked everything very much. Even though he had never heard about alfresco wedding, he liked it. He felt as if he had fallen into a fairy tale. He was about to marry Louis Tomlinson-the man he fell in love with-with the birds chirping above their heads among the colorful flowers.
He still felt like there was a problem. As if something wrong was going to happen... He was about to pass out with fright. He could no longer hear the priest. He couldn't hear anything or anyone. He remembered standing right in front of the only person who could get him out of this situation as he made an extraordinary effort to not faint. He remembered his god.
He lifted his timid gaze and tried to find peace in his beloved's ocean blue eyes. Louis knew there was a problem. He was studying Harry with doubtful eyes. Harry wanted to hug him. He badly needed this. He desperately needed to hug Louis, to calm down by listening to his heartbeat.
Harry realized that the priest was talking to him. He turned his gaze away from Louis to the man speaking.
The man was talking about marriage. That's right, Harry was about to get married. He tried to gather his attention and understand what the man was saying. He was asking if he wanted to marry Louis. Harry wanted to ask why would I be here if I didn't want to get married, but he didn't. He just said "Yes". Maybe that was enough.
It must have been Louis' turn when the man started talking to him. He was asking Louis if he wanted to marry Harry. Harry looked at Louis, eyes wide with horror. Was he going to marry Harry? Not with Dorian, but with Harry... He waited eagerly for Louis' answer. Louis wouldn't marry with Harry. He loved Dorian, didn't he?
"Yes"
The most impressive word Harry had ever heard slipped from the mouth of the most fascinating man he had ever known. He was married... Harry was now a married man. A man entirely owned by Louis.
An indescribable feeling of victory arose in him. He felt as if he had won over Dorian. Louis may have loved Dorian, but he was married to Harry. Harry had won the war.
Harry felt like he was going to be the first one die from crying. "Go." said Louis. Go. What a terrible word! His heart was aching. It was as if a dagger had been stabbed in his heart. What kind of pain was this? He was trying to breathe, but the oxygen in the air seemed to have run out. He wanted to return home. He wanted to go to his temple, his God.
He had ruined everything. Now he was alone in a stinking hotel room, miles away from Louis. He was about to lose his mind. All he could do was pray. Begging for forgiveness.
He wouldn't be forgiven, he knew. He'd crossed the line. He tried to say banned things. And his god sent him hell to burn.
"Please!" Harry begged in his trembling voice. He wanted to say more, but his strength was gone. The last words he said before falling into a restless sleep were "Forgive me, Louis."
⚓️
You need to talk with a psychiatrist...
It was the worst insult Louis had ever heard. The person he loved had treated him he is mad. He said his cruel words and left. Louis tried to sleep after he had left. However, he couldn't. He couldn't sleep because of his anger, he wanted to take his anger out on someone. He felt that his brain was going to explode, that poison was running through his veins.
He got out of bed, taking deep breaths to calm himself. He got out from the bed he had once shared with Harry... He didn't think they would ever sleep in this bed together. He went to the bathroom. After splashing the cold water on his face a few times, his eyes met the mirror. He took a deep breathe, preparing himself to meet his reflection. He needed to see Dorian. He needed him.
He stared at his own reflection for a few seconds. Why wasn't it happening? Why he couldn't see Dorian? He withdrew in fear and panic. He couldn't see him. He couldn't see Dorian. Both Dorian and Harry left hin. He collapsed to the ground, losing all his strength.
"I think I'm really losing my mind." he whispered with tears in his eyes.
YOU ARE READING
Lost Soul
Fanfiction"The most terrible thing about it is not that it breaks one's heart, hearts are made to be broken but that it turns one's heart to stone."
