Lost Soul

It gets hard to know what he's thinking

Harry had been here for two months. He was used to this life and Louis now. He loved Louis. He didn't feel alone with him. For the first time, he felt valued. He tried not to think of Dorian. Thinking was useless. His heart was breaking into pieces as he thought about it. Thinking was killing him.

When he was sure that he was done with the eyeliner, he approached the full-length mirror. He liked the look. While he was doing his hair, he started singing.

"You should act like this when you're with me." He jumped when he heard Louis' voice.

“How long have you been here?” Harry asked his lover leaning against the wall, watching him.

"You should close the door while you're getting dressed, darling."

"The door was already closed."

"Oh then you should lock it up."

"You're a complete pervert." said Harry just before kissing Louis.

"When are you going to show me what kind of person you're hiding inside you?" he asked. Harry bit his lip and thought for a while. Then he replied, leaning forward slightly, as if to reveal a secret.

"As soon as you show me what's inside you."

"I didn't know you had such a beautiful voice." said Louis, changing the subject.

"It's not beautiful."

"Get ready, I'm taking you to the doctor, we need to get your ears checked immediately."

"I didn't know you could play the violin and piano either."

"And you're calling me a pervert. How do you know that?" A tense expression appeared on his face. He didn't want Harry to know about his relationship with the mirror.

"I hear the voices, Lou. You play it every night. Don't you ever get sleepy?"

"No...I don't sleep... I mean have to I sleep, but I don't sleep as much as possible."

"Why?" Harry asked curiously.

"My mind is pretty good at scaring me."

"Are you having nightmares?"

"Yeah kinda."

"What do you see in your nightmares?"

Louis looked at Harry uncertainly. He wanted to talk, he wanted to tell him everything, but he knew very well that he should never do that.

"It's just- Please don't leave me, Harry. Whatever happens… If you let me go, I'll die."

"I will never leave you, Louis." said Harry, hugging him tightly. He would not go. He couldn't live with anyone else. He couldn't love anyone else. He wouldn't be able to breathe without Louis.

"Actually, I came to ask you something."

"What? Didn't you come to see me get dressed?" asked Harry, acting like he sad to hear it.

"Would you like to take a trip to Italy with me?"

Harry's eyes widened with excitement.

"Really?"

Louis nodded and hugged him once more.

⚓

That night, Harry had deliberately not slept. Because now he wanted to know what Louis had to do with his own reflection. The sound of the piano was heard. Louis had just begun his self-contained concert. Louis stopped playing piano as Harry climbed the stairs slowly. Harry started watching Louis without going inside of the room. Louis was standing in front of the largest mirror in the room.

He was watching himself carefully. With great love... His hands were shaking... He slowly raised his hand and caressed his hair. Slowly... As if he was touching a very precious artifact... He slowly moved his hand from his hair to his cheek... Then to his lips... His eyes were teary-eyed. He approached the mirror and connected his hand to his reflection. He was crying without a sound… His hot breath was steaming in the mirror. His every move was graceful, his crying silent... Both of their hearts were beating as if they were trying to burst out of their places. Louis closed his teary eyes and rested his forehead against the mirror. His hand was moving over his reflection, as if trying to get behind the mirror. When he finally gave up, he opened his eyes and noticed the reflection of Harry watching him outside of the room. He turned to face Harry in horror and met his eyes. But Louis' eyes, red from crying, were very different from the one Harry was familiar with. There was pain in those eyes... There was disappointment... There was the deadly fire of impossible love in those eyes.