Lost Soul

You're not here anymore

Applauds and whistles could still be heard as the curtains closed. Louis let out the breath he felt he had been holding for hours. If he had failed, his mother would have killed him. All Louis wanted was to be a child worthy of his mother. However, it was quite difficult. His mother was a well-known woman. She was a talented, successful and very beautiful woman. Louis loved his mother. He really loved her. He loved his mother even though he didn't know how to show it to her.

All he wanted was to be successful. In this way, he would prove his love for his mother. At least that's what Louis thought it would be.

He ran to the corner of the room full of students trying to change their clothes and hurriedly took off his clothes. The school had everything but no locker room where they could change properly.

In fact, the school building had the potential to be used as anything but a school. Annoying, Louis thought. He did not like to show his body to everyone.

After changing his clothes, he walked away from among his friends who were chatting merrily and making nasty pranks. He loved his school, but the people at the school were testing his patience.

He lowered his head not to make eye contact with anyone. When he got out of school, he would be free. And when he got home, he was going to tell his mother about the show. It was exciting. I did it, mum, he would say. The whole school gave me a standing ovation.

Just then, something happened. Louis couldn't describe the feeling. No one could understand this. Louis staggered as the pain pierced his brain. He didn't know what was going on, he didn't know what to do. In the middle of the street, he was bent over, writhing in pain.

"Are you okay?" asked a voice. Louis couldn't answer. All he could do was moan in pain.

"What happened to you?" asked the voice.

"I don't know." Louis muttered as the pain eased a little.

"Oh you're the theater boy!" cheered the voice. Louis was finally able to open his eyes and examine the other person. He was sure he had never seen this person before.

"Do I know you?" he asked. The boy winked instead of answering. How fascinating his eyes were, Louis thought to himself.

"My name is Louis, not the theater boy." The stranger's laughter echoed in the street. "And you? Don't you have a name?"

The boy shrugged.

"Does everyone have to have a name?"

"Well... Yes?"

How different he was.

"Well then." the boy muttered, looking thoughtfully at Louis. "My name is... Dorian? What do you think, does it suit me?"

"Yeah," Louis agreed. He had already forgotten that the character he had just played was called Dorian. "Where is your house? I can accompany you."

"Sounds like a cheeky question," smirked Dorian.

"Huh what?" This boy was the strangest person in the world.

"My house is really close, we can walk together."

"Alright." said Louis. It felt weird. The boy's movements were very strange. Very, very strange... He studied the boy carefully. The color of his eyes was beautiful, but Louis was unsure of the color. Blue? Green? Grey? Hazel? It was as if the boy's eyes were changing color at any moment. And his skin... Louis wasn't a racist, but this lad had a different complexion. It was shining.

"Are you done examining me?"

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, you'll have plenty of time to study me in the future." the boy winked again.

"What?" Louis couldn't understand anything.

⚓️

When Louis got home, he realized that his mother was not at home. He was not surprised, his mother's meetings never ceased. He wanted to spend more time with his mother, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Money was not easily earned.

He threw his bag aside and stepped into the shower. He felt that every drop that trickled down his shoulders cleansed his soul. He walked out of the bathroom, making sure his was free of dirt. He hugged his robe and stood in front of the mirror. He was mentally exhausted today. He felt like his brain was going to explode. He was examining his own eyes in the mirror. His eyes were one of his favorite parts of his body. All of a sudden he felt his vision lose clarity. Blinking his eyes, he looked back in the mirror and backed away in fear.

What was Dorian doing in the mirror?

⚓️

Broken glass and drops of blood...

Louis was sitting in the middle of the mirrors he had broken because of his crisis. Pieces of glass were in his hand, but he didn't care. As sun was slowly rising, Louis sat on the floor sobbing like a child.

He was burning. His hands hurt, his heart ached. He had lost everything. He could not see Dorian. He couldn't hear him in his mind. He picked up one of the tiny pieces on the floor again. He had hope. I closed my eyes and held the mirror tightly. What he saw in the mirror could darken his life. What he saw in the mirror could have saved his life. Holding his breath, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Damn you Dorian!" shouting, he threw the piece of glass across the room. Dorian was gone, he had abandoned him. "Why did you go?" cried Louis. "What mistake did I do? Why did you leave me? You were all I had, why did you leave?"

He didn't think he could bear this pain. Dorian was gone. So was Harry. Louis was afraid. He was alone. The room was cold. Home? He didn't know where his home was?

He didn't know where Harry was. Was he ok? Why did he think Louis was crazy? Why was he afraid of Louis? Louis couldn't understand. He loved Harry. It was the first time he had fallen in love with a person. It was the first time he had wanted someone this much. But Harry left him. He left Louis alone in this cursed room.

All he could do was cry. For the first time in years, he felt so weak. Trapped and helpless...

It's like the world was disappearing... It's like he's dying. He tried to breathe, it wasn't helping. He needed a drink. Too much drink. Or something else. Something to take control of Louis' mind.

He felt that his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. As if there was no more blood flowing in his veins... His soul ached. He missed his husband. He missed the man he loved, the man he belonged to. He missed Harry.

He lay down on the cold floor, unaware that Harry was just the same in an hotel room. Louis felt shards of glass enter his body, but did not react. He deserved this pain.

What do you think about the book?