Harry thought he opened his eyes to a day as usual. He hadn't gotten out of bed yet, he wasn't aware of what was going on. At least he wasn't aware until Louis staggered into the room. Seeing Louis as a mess, he got up.
"Louis what happened to you?" he asked in a voice mixed with fear and panic.
"I had to do it, Harry. I need it to make sure I understand some things corretctly. I had to. Forgive me darling."
"What did you do, Louis? Are you okay?"
Louis shook his head and pointed in front of the mirror. Although Harry couldn't understand what was happening at first, what he saw made him stop with a horrified expression. On the floor were the empty pill boxes... Empty pill boxes and a broken whiskey bottle. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
"You didn't do what I thought you did, did you?"
"I'm sorry, Harry."
"How could you do this? Why did you do this to me? God! You're the most selfish man in this world!"
"Please don't do that, darling." Louis whispered, holding Harry's face in his hands. "Never forget that I love you so much. Don't be alone, but remember that no one will love you more than me."
"No no." said Harry, crying. "I can't be without you, Louis... I can't breathe without you, I can't live."
"You're so special to me Harry. You're more precious than anything else... I know I treated you badly. I made big mistakes. I've always done unforgivable things. But just know that if I could turn back time, I would have done things differently. I would have come to you the first day I saw you. I would have kept you in my heart, far from the awful part of my life. I would never have let tears fall down my face. I'm sorry darling. I'm sorry Harry." He spoke slowly, wiping his lover's tears as he spoke.
"For the first time in my life, I felt loved. It was the first time I loved someone. You are my home.You are my reason to live. Don't take this from me. You can't take this from me." He was speaking fast, gripping his lover's wrists tightly. He wouldn't go if Harry holds him tight, right?
"Goodbye, Harry." Louis said just before starting a passionate kiss. They kissed slowly, softly, lovingly, knowing that this was the end. Even though they were both out of breath, he wouldn't hold back, he wouldn't let this moment end. But all good things had an end. When Louis lost his strength and sat to the ground, all Harry could do was cry and tell him how much he loved him.
It wasn't just the man he loved that he lost. He lost his dreams and hopes. He would never be able to feel what he had experienced with Louis again. For the first time he felt valued, and now the man who made him feel good was leaving. All his happiness was gone. And all the pain... But he would prefer the pain of being with Louis to the greatest happiness. He felt good. There were no words to describe what he felt. He wasn't ready for this. He felt the intense pressure on him, as if he was going to fall and pass out. He was pretty much stuck. He was hurting. He felt that his soul was ripping out of his body. He felt lost. He wanted to scream, to cry madly. But there was nothing he could do. His whole body was shaking. He sat on the ground to avoid falling. He didn't have the strength to get up. He couldn't stand it any longer. All he wanted was to sleep. To fall into an unconscious, deep sleep, never waking up.
Everything was over for Harry.
⚓️
When the ambulance finally arrived, there was a tiny bit of hope in Harry. He didn't call the ambulance himself. Probably, while he was asleep, Louis regretted and called. They didn't let Harry wait at the hospital. They said he needed to stay home, rest. Harry, on the other hand, was sitting in front of the mirror where Louis had once watched Dorian, waiting for news from his lover. Would he be okay?
He let another tear roll down his cheek. I
He was completely empty, falling into a bottomless pit. His heart was breaking into a million little pieces. With each passing second, life became more meaningless.The sky wasn't blue for Harry anymore.
He was losing his mind. He was hearing voices. Maybe he was mading them up un his head. He was hearing the door opening. He was imagining Louis was next to him. He was hearing it. The voice of his angel.
"Did you miss me, Harry?"
YOU ARE READING
Lost Soul
Fanfic"The most terrible thing about it is not that it breaks one's heart, hearts are made to be broken but that it turns one's heart to stone."
