𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿.
☽☽☽
She captivated Bucky instantly during their first interaction. He cannot, however, express his feelings due to her bloodline and relat...
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TW: Mentions of murder and mistreatment. (Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was trying to cure my hangover. Hope this chapter will surface the lack of one yesterday)
Every bone in my body aches with so much pain that it hurts to walk inside the compound. The mission was harder than anyone expected. There were more HYDRA guards on the outside of the building than Tony had initially seen, and even more on the inside. But, we fought each and every one of them until there was a sea of bodies on the ground. Natasha was able to get the necessary intel and rushed out of the building unharmed. Everyone slept on the ride home, apart from me. No matter how hard I tried, my eyes refused to close. It was like my brain was on high alert, and I couldn't do anything about it. It kept replaying every kill I did, and everybody that I dropped after throwing my knife into its back. I know I wanted revenge for what they did to me, but I don't think I was ready to see the amount of blood I could take in such a short amount of time. I can still see all of their faces. Scared faces.
But, when we got home, I went straight to my room. I couldn't bare to hear Tony babble on about what we could have done better in the mission. I just needed some time by myself. So, I practically ran up the stairs to the level that I share with Steve and Eden and slammed my bedroom door behind me. I tore my tactical gear off and threw on some pyjamas left in the closet before I got here, some grey sweatpants and a white tank top. But, I was rudely interrupted before I could get into the shower by a knock on the door. I hesitantly answered it and internally groaned when I saw Steve. I already know what he's going to ask of me.
"Hey," He smiles.
"Hi," I mumble.
"So, are you joining us?" He asks.
"No," I shake my head. "I'll just read the mission reports tomorrow. I'm pretty tired right now."
"Oh, no. That's not what I'm talking about."
"What are you talking about then?"
"Dinner." He answers. "Eden made dinner for the team. I was wondering if you would join us."
I wasn't lying to him, I really am tired. I didn't sleep on the jet and my body is screaming for my bed, but a small part of me is telling me to post-pon it. And it's not my head, it's my heart. I can't stop myself from thinking about Eden. I'm practically obsessed with those thoughts. I keep thinking about her hair and how I want to smooth my fingers through it. Or, her eyes and how they express so much when she speaks. Or, her lips and how beautifully they sit on the end of her face. Even though I keep telling myself that I can't think about her, I keep finding myself doing just that.
"Yeah, I'll be there." I agree.
"Great, she's just serving up. Meet you in the large kitchen." He walks down the hallway.
I shut my door behind me, leaning against it and sighing. It's like my mind spoke before my mind could catch up with it. I don't even want to be in the same room as everyone, but the mention of her name, and I'm agreeing to it. I've never felt like this before. Eden makes me feel things that I'm scared to admit to myself. But, I don't want it to stop. So, I take a deep breath and open the door again, walking down the hallways with my hands in my pockets. When I enter the kitchen, everyone goes silent. Only Steve stands up and walks over to me, ushering me into a spare seat and the end of the table. Although, I did see Sam look at me with a smile instead of his usual glare. No one speaks until Eden walks over to the table with a large pot of pasta, placing it in the middle. She sits down on the top of the table, only a corner away from me. Everyone starts pilling the food onto their plates, adding whatever extra ingredients into the dish before digging in. Mine and Eden's plates are the remaining ones left, and she offers for me to take a serving before her. Before I know it, I'm smiling gratefully at her, and she happily smiles back.
"Thank you, Eddie." Steve smiles. "This is amazing."
"Thank you." She smiles back.
"Really, this is good." Nat moans. "How are you so good at cooking? Tony sucks at it."
"Hey!" Tony argues.
"Don't worry, Dad," Eden smirks. "You're good at other stuff. But, I've always enjoyed cooking. There was a small homemade cookbook in the kitchen when I was growing up and I was curious. Then that curiosity turned into a hobby."
Everyone continued to eat their food with small conversations scattered around the table. Steve and Sam were discussing their morning run and the next route they want to take. Tony and Bruce are talking about some lab crap that I really don't care about. Natasha and Wanda are briefly talking about some training positions they can try in their next session. And then there is Eden. She is happily eating without talking to anyone, constantly looking around the table and listening in. She smiles when she hears about Natasha and Wanda, smirks when she hears about Steve and Sam, and frowns when she listens in on Tony and Bruce. I don't want her to sit alone, but I also don't want her to get the wrong idea. I've already accidentally smiled at her, and I don't want her to start liking me. She can't be friends with me. So, I decided to keep my mouth shut.
"So, do you like the food?" She asks me.
"It's good."
"How are you feeling after the mission? I heard it was kinda big."
"I'm alright."
She looks slightly taken aback by my deadpan answers. I can't engage in a deep conversation with her, or I fear I might never stop talking. So, I practically ignore her. Again. She looks hurt by it and I hate that I am the reason, but I keep reminding myself that I need to do this. I can't have her near me. She can't be a part of my life, or she will get hurt. And, I can't be the reason for any more hurt. Not to her.
