𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿.
☽☽☽
She captivated Bucky instantly during their first interaction. He cannot, however, express his feelings due to her bloodline and relat...
I feel terrible. I've been avoiding Eden like the plague, and it's been clearly affecting her. The next day after our dinner, she was gloomy. She wouldn't talk to anyone, and wouldn't even look at me. I originally felt bad, knowing that it was my fault, but I kept reminding myself that she needed this. It's bad enough that we are friends, and I can taint her reputation and soul. But, now that I can't stop thinking about her, especially in a way a friend shouldn't be thinking, I'm a horrible person. She has no idea what goes on through my mind, and if she did she would stop talking to me. There is no chance in hell that she reciprocates these feelings. But, I don't even know what these feelings are. Sometimes I just want to be with her, not even needing to speak or touch the other. And then other times, I don't want to know her. She can't get caught up in my problems, I can't let her.
Despite these feelings, I find myself accepting the invitation to go to dinner with the team after a heavy mission. It was another HYDRA base, and this one was packed with agents and guards. There wasn't much information, but what was there was important. When we got back, Tony was exhausted and needed to see Eden. He was very close to getting hurt and was scared that he would never see her again. She thought of the idea of going out for dinner, and everyone was tired and starving, so they agreed. We all got dressed, showered, and waited outside of the compound for the taxis. When they arrived, we were all packed in the back, shoulder to shoulder. In the first cab are Tony, Eden, Natasha, Bruce, and Clint. In the other is Steve, Wanda, Sam, and I. Tony insisted that he be with Eden, and I'm in no place to argue. The majority of the team doesn't even know we are friends.
When we arrive outside of a restaurant, everyone rushes to get out of the cars. Tony pays the two drivers and joins all of us as we walk into the restaurant, asking for our reserved table. Two servers walk us to a booth in the corner of the restaurant, away from the kitchen and bathrooms. Tony shifts in first, being in the centre, and ushering Eden to follow behind. But, she lets Bruce and Natasha go first, wanting to be next to each other and smushing in between people. Eden then takes a seat at the end of the booth, one seat left. Wanda, Sam, Clint, and Steve sit on the other side of the booth, and I take the remaining seat next to Eden, sitting at the very end of the booth. One server passes us a menu each, and the other pulls out his pen and pad, readying to write down our orders. We take our time to pick our choices, and then tell them to the server, the other grabbing our menus and walking away. After some time, our drinks arrive at the table, and Tony grabs his one, raising his glass.
"I would just like to say a very well done for today's mission." He beams. "Although it was hard, we were able to get the information and will study it. This could have really saved our future missions."
"Cheers." Everyone clinks their glasses together.
The servers place all of our food in front of us, and we don't waste any time digging in. For a while, no one speaks as their mouths are filled with delicious food. I can taste the expense and luxury in my meal, and I don't know how to feel about it. I know Tony has 'Fuck You' money, but I'm pretty sure he isn't happy that he is paying for me. It was only Eden that got me to come here, asking Tony if he could just put his distaste behind him, and allow the team to enjoy a meal together. I appreciate it, but I don't need anyone's pity. She probably didn't mean it that way, but it just feels like that.
"Are you okay?" She whispers to me.
"Yeah, why?"
"You're just really quiet."
"I'm just tired. It was a long mission."
"Okay," She nods her head. "Want to hear something that will cheer you up?"
"Okay."
"Have you ever noticed that before a mission Sam keeps touching his chest?" She asks.
"Yeah, sometimes. But, I just thought it was a nervous thing."
"No," She laughs. "It's because he has a sock shoved down his tactical vest."
"What! Why?"
"It's his lucky sock that he never washes. I've never seen the other one, though."
"Uh, okay. That's kinda gross." I smile.
"Yeah, I know." She smirks. "Some say that the other sock was never seen again after my father attempted to wash the lucky one."
I cover my mouth as I attempt to hide my ongoing laugh. The rest of the table look up from their plates and separate conversations, watching Eden and me laughing with each other. Some look confused, but people like Steve and Sam have a knowing smile on their faces. Steve soon found out that Eden is a friend after I told him about my nightmare and that Eden comforted me, and I assume he told Sam. Everyone's shock wears off, and they all go back to their meals.
"Do you have something lucky for missions?" She asks.
Yeah, you. "No."
Apart from my driving motivation to defeat HYDRA, I need to come home after every mission. To Eden. Steve and Eden are the people I love for now. I couldn't exactly care what happened to me, I've been through hell and back. But, if something were to happen to Eden or Steve, I don't know what I would do with myself. Eden is the only woman in my life that I would already do anything for. She has a scary hold on me that I can't shake. I don't exactly want to shake it. She is always at the front of my mind, and I can't stop thinking about her. Recently, my thoughts about her have shifted. Originally, I thought about constantly wanting to be beside her, but now, every time I see her face, I have to refrain from pulling her in and kissing her lips. They are so plump and kissable. I want to hold and hug her, close enough that I can smell her shampoo and natural scent. I want her lipstick smudged on my pubic bone, but I know that can't happen. I'm too big for her to reach all the way down. That's not even cocky, I know that after I was infused with the serum, everything grew. She probably wouldn't want that to happen, but I just can't stop thinking about her. I love having her around and in my life.
