little bella imagine for y'all 😘
TW: body shaming, mentions of an ED. please please please do not read if you are struggling with that stuff, please talk to someone, weather it be a therapist, friend, parent etc. i am always open to talk also. much love- leo 🫶🏻
it was late, around 12:30 or so. i had been feeling really bad lately, because ever since me and bella went public with our relationship, i have been getting a lot of hate from people. i have always gotten hate, but recently it's been getting bad again.
when i was around 12 up until i was like 16, i had an eating disorder. i was getting lot of hate because i was in just starting to appear in more movies as main characters, and people started to body shame me. I learned how to deal with it and ignore it when i was older, but it was always really hard.
recently, i have been getting the same hate. but this time it hurt more because people were telling me i wasn't good enough for bella. they said that i didn't deserve them, body shaming me, telling me awful things, death threats, etc.
bella has been away for a little while filming, so i have been alone with my thoughts. it sucked. a lot. but now, he's back. right next to me, holding my hand and sleeping. i couldn't help but start to cry, knowing that my ED was returning, and getting bad again. i haven't eaten in a few days, nothing more than a granola bar here and there.
apparently bella heard my muffled cries, and woke up. the last thing i wanted to do is wake them up, they seem so tired and i wanted to let them sleep. when they woke up, the first thing they did was look wt me and saw that i was crying. they immediately got up and held me in their lap.
"hey hey what's the matter love? are you okay?" bella asked with genuine concern in their voice.
"am i... good enough.. for you? i said struggling to breath in between by sobs.
bella's head turned down to face and and they held my face in their hands. i saw their glossy eyes looking at me with baffled by what i just said.
"y/n.. you have always been perfect for me. more than good enough. anyone who tells you otherwise is lying and doesn't know anything about how i think of you. you are beyond compare to anyone else. who made you think you aren't good enough for me?"
"everyone. i have always gotten hate with being in movies and shit, and it got.. bad. but now it's even worse— the things people say to me. they tell me and not pretty thought for you, or that you could find someone better tha-" i started to say before being shut off my bella's lips meeting mine. they kissed me slowly and softly. i melted into the kiss, until he pulled away from my lips, but only a small distance between our lips meeting again.
" im going to tell you something that by now you should know. so i need you to listen to me okay?" they said, i nodded lightly wanted to hear what he was going to say. "y/n you are absolutely, utterly gorgeous. you're the most faultless, pure hearted person i have ever met. you are the only person i would ever want. its you, it always will be, it always have been, you. i understand how it feels to get hate, but i never ever want you forget you are anything less then perfect." they said with a genuine expression on their face. at this point i was still crying, but not for the same reason. i loved bella so much.
"let's try to go to sleep yeah?" they said. i nodded, as i was really tired. they laid me down next to them facing me, theirs arms around my waist and our legs tangled together. their hand inched under my shirt, placing their hand on lower waist. their thumb rubbed up and down on my waists as they whispered soft praises and sweet nothings, as my head laid in the crook of their neck, sifted kissing him ever few minutes. waves relaxation and peacefulness rushed through my body and i felt the warmth of my lover.
"i love you so much bella" i whispered while i rested my head momentarily on her shoulder.
"i love you more y/n. get some rest darling."
Bella Ramsey was my person.
i wrote this at midnight and i didn't proofread this so sorry for any typos this -leo 🫶🏻
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