"Church Boy."

Failure

I walked home instead of riding the bus. I couldn't face that fucking freak and his stoner buddy.

When I got home, my father was sitting in the living room. He always loved that chair, potentially more than he loved me.

"Travis."

"Father."

"I have a question."

"Yes, sir?" I ask, heart racing. "Do you think I'm a monster?" he asked, calm as ever. "No! Of course not, father!" I protested, dropping my school bag. "Oh?" he stated, giving me a subtle look of surprise. "Really? Then tell me why... tell me why you are so scared of me." 

"What...?"

"You heard me, son."

"..."

"Go on...Tell me...If you aren't scared."

"Well...because you are my father and I know you love me. The punishments hurt but I am deserving of them! You are teaching me." 

"Good. To your room. Now."

"Yes, sir."

I grabbed my bag and then walked up to my bedroom, sitting on my mattress that was resting on the floor. After an hour or so, I fell asleep. My dream was weird.

-DREAM-

I walked into the school's bathroom. Sobs and cries emanated from a stall. "Hello? Are you okay?" I called out. 

The voice was not mine.

So familiar, yet I couldn't pinpoint it.

"I'm fine! Go away, fucking freak..." the hidden voice replied, voice cracking. "I just want to help..." I muttered, embarrassment hinting in my tone. "I don't need your pity!" the voice yelled, slightly distorted. "I'm sorry..." I apologized, walking away and back through the doors. 

"Faggot!" the voice yelled as I walked through the doors. I didn't pay it any mind. But now, I was in my bedroom. Not my actual bedroom, one that was supposed to be mine. I lay in blue covers, blue sheets, blue hair, blue eyes, and blue pills...

My vision was funky and weird. 

I grabbed for something on the side of my bed. With a small 'pop!' I could see better. "Sal!" a voice called from the next room. Involuntarily, I got up and fell into a deep abyss upon stepping off my bed.  

That's when I woke up. I sat up in my bed, sweating and shaking. A moment later, my father walked in. "Travis, I suggest you begin to prep the table. That is, unless, of course, you aren't eating." he said, then closed the door and exited. 

I sighed softly and left my room. My father was in the living room, he was reading a book. "Prick..." I thought. 

*Time Skip*

I finished setting the table and alerted my father. "Father, the table is set." I informed, tending to my seat across from where my father will sit. "Good." he answered. When he arrived at the table, he sat and we began to pray.

(Sorry, I'm not religious and I don't want to include an actual prayer. I don't know what to put and it doesn't exactly matter anyways. I hope you all understand!)

"Amen." we finished. 

Dinner went by silently, it used to be comfortable and talkative when mother was here. I miss her...so much...

After dinner, I went back up to my room and lay down. Not to sleep, but to think and relax. Two hours passed and my father burst into my room. "Travis. Your teacher has informed me that you need math tutoring and that you could also tutor someone yourself, get up." he demanded. "Yes, father."