Basorexia - J.MAGUIRE

[2.42] eyebrows

'The president of the United States, Bill Clinton, a committed supporter of the peace process, will visit both sides of the community during his trip to Belfast before travelling to Londonderry.'

The radio blared through the kitchen as Ciara stared at her breakfast plate. "Come on Ciara love, please?" her Mammy spoke softly as if trying to coax her into something. She sat across from her daughter, nursing half a cup of tea whilst her breakfast plate laid empty but for crumbs in front of her. Ciara's however, contained a piece of toast that had only two bites taken out of it.

She simply was not feeling the food today and could not physically imagine taking another bite of that toast, let alone finishing it. The very thought made her so nauseous that she felt the urge to run to the bathroom to alleviate the feeling in the only way she knew how. She knew exactly what had bought on her sudden aversion to food, a nightmare that took her back to her first ever inpatient and all the pain that experience had caused. She just couldn't face fueling herself right now. But, as the rules were, she was not allowed to leave the table until at least seventy five percent of the calories allocated had been digested. She could have whatever she wanted, as long as it was nothing less than her necessary intake for breakfast.

Ciara sighed deeply, resting her head in her hand. "I can't stomach it Mammy," she half muttered, gently pushing the plate in front of her away.

They sat there for an hour, trying to find food that she could eat for that meal. Eventually, she managed to settle on a raspberry based smoothie, which Chip drank only so she could leave the table and finally get to school. She had to be driven by her neighbour as she had missed the bus and her Mammy made sure to watch her get into the car, making sure she did not have the opportunity to dispose of the smoothie as she knew her daughter was tempted. She could see it in her eyes.

Upon arriving at school, given that the others were in lesson, she pretty much sprant to the secret bathrooms. She didn't even attempt her usual ways, knowing that it was too late now and the damage was already done. So instead she dumped her lunch in the toilet and flushed it away. She wouldn't have had the opportunity to get rid of it any other way and knew that her Mammy would check her bag. She kept all the wrappers though, as evidence.

She waited until ten minutes after the lunch bell rang before leaving the bathroom and directed herself to where the others were sitting. "What got you so late?" Chelle asked as soon as she entered their circle, slumping into her usual seat.

"Slept through my alarm again," she sighed deeply, dumping her back next to her feet. "Did we get tomorrow off then?"

Erin chuckled sarcastically, "No."

"So we're sacking off school, right?"

"Aye," Chelle quickly agreed, nodding as she popped a chocolate into her mouth.

As nods flew around the group, James offered Chip a chip from the bag he had bought. She shook her head and instantly brushed off the concern that flooded into his eyes. "I ate in the car on the way in," she whispered and he nodded reluctantly, not completely sure if he believed her.

-

They all walked out of Dennis' wee shop after getting kicked out yet again as Clare had refused to buy the dodgy flags he was selling. Ciara's lack of lunch was starting to catch up to her, her stomach felt empty and gnawed at itself in a tell-tale noisy way. Before anyone could catch it, she fished a cigarette from her pocket and placed it between her lips while she searched for her lighter. It had somehow disappeared from her pocket, she suspected it had been her Mammy's attempt at stopping the habit she so hated.

"Orla chuck us your lighter?" Chip called out, her words slightly muffled by the tube hanging from her mouth. Orla, without a question or hesitation, reached into her pocket and threw the lighter to Chip. She miraculously managed to catch it and lit up the cigarette, sighing in relief upon her first inhale. Chip went to chuck the lighter back to Orla but stopped when a red car pulled up in front of them, nearly running over Erin's foot.

"Hello there. Why don't you hop in?" the driver, a lady who settled quite a particular feeling within Ciara, grinned uncomfortably. "Oh, come on now. Don't be shy."

"Help! Stranger! Stranger danger! Help! This woman is trying to abduct us!" Erin yelled and the others, baring Chelle, James and Ciara all joined in while looking around for someone to help them.

"Will yous all just shut the fuck up? It's fine," Chelle abruptly announced, stopping all the yells. Ciara, as she exhaled more smoke, curled a brow in intrigue and partial concern. "She's not a kidnapper."

"Well who is she?"

"My Aunt Cathy," Michelle sighed, gesturing to the woman in the car. Chip, in shock, held the smoke in her lungs for a second too long and choked. Orla tapped her on the back gently, not really doing anything but Ciara still appreciated it greatly. It showed someone cared at least.

"Hello, Mum," James, who had been distracted by Chip's lack of air, finally broke the silence. Chips' eyes were pouring with pure worry as she caught James' eye. He was quick to smile to discard her worry but she was not convinced in the slightest.

"Ring me if you need to get away," she whispered into his ear as she turned, crushing the discarded cigarette with her boot before she walked away. She could not stand to look at that woman for any longer, knowing who she was and all the pain she had willingly caused him.

-

"What kept you?"

"Sorry Mammy, took a trip to the yarn shop. I have gossip," Ciara grinned as she sat on the floor of her living room, crossing her legs as she looked up to see her Mammy. Chip watched as she looked up from her newest project (it looked like the beginnings of another jumper), brow cocked in intrigue as a mischievous smile began to form on her lips.

"Gossip, aye?"

"I just met James's Ma."

Her eyes widened, "Cathy Maguire's back? Really?" A brief pause followed as Chip nodded, sending her into a spiral of different thoughts. "How were the eyebrows?" she asked softly, as if reluctant to hear the answer.

"Nothing compared to yours Mammy, in fact they looked quite unruly," Chip responded with a bright grin. Her Mam and James' Mum had had quite a feud during their younger years. They competed for the best eyebrows in Derry for years and years on end. It was a rather bitter battle that ended in tears for the loser, which coincidently ended up being Cathy as she had an incident on the last day of the year where half her eyebrow mysteriously went missing.

She smiled softly and picked up her project again, looping the yarn around her fingers as she replied, "Good."

"I'm worried about James though," Chip sighed softly, turning towards the telly and the soap that her Mammy was rewatching. . "He always complains about her and the look on his face... I feel somethings going to happen."

As a reply was about to follow, the phone in the hall began to blare out the familiar ringtone. Ciara leapt up a little to quickly and sprant across the living room and kitchen, heading for the phone. Her vision blurred due to the sudden burst of movement and only settled once she had set the phone back down again with a soft sigh.

She walked to the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. "Double glazing," she announced, knowing her Mam would have wanted to know who was on the other end of the phone.

Mammy rolled her eyes, grumbling, "Bastards."