Basorexia - J.MAGUIRE

[3.54] choo choo

Things between Michelle and Chip had been unknowingly tense since their yelling match. Michelle had not said one word to Chip, even through the dozens of times that they had hung out as a group over the past two weeks. The girls were beginning to notice but whenever it was brought up, the conversation magically happened to change into something that stole all the attention away from the feud. Even as they all waited for the train for their trip to a seaside amusement park and had a rather excitable discussion about their plans upon arrival, Michelle and Chip did not speak a word. If they happened to, it was usually directed to someone else completely and not intended for the other person to actually hear a word.

On the train itself, after the group had calmed down from their panic stricken guilt for leaving Clare behind at the station, Michelle even made a big deal about not physically sitting opposite to Chip. Ciara sat in the corner, James next to her. Michelle sat opposite James with Erin in the corner by the window. Orla sat in the seat behind CIara, turned around as the two were playing a rather heated game of cards to pass the time.

The card game ended and Chip took out her book as the train suddenly came to a stop, the conductor telling some sort of tale about something being wrong with the tracks. They were at a complete standstill, as well as the conversation between them all. Within the silence, the tension between Chip and Chelle became extensively palpable.

"How much longer are we going to be stuck here?" Michelle snapped as she fidgeted in her seat. She continued to grumble, "This is unbearable."

"It's been a minute Michelle. Like sixty seconds," Erin countered as she looked out of the window, staring at the bushes that lined the track and shook briefly in the gentle breeze.

Michelle sighed, "I am so fucking bored!"

"Oh I know this really cracker game," Orla, who had picked her head up from resting on the window, exclaimed as she fully turnt in her seat and poked her head above Chip's. "I think of a number and you guys guess that number."

"Seven!"

"Twenty one!"

"Six thousand, eight hundred and fifty seven," Chip suggested absentmindedly, mind too focused within the story of her book.

Orla's eyes went wide, "How'd you know that?"

"Seriously?" Michelle grumbled as she sank deeper into her chair, annoyance furrowing her brow.

"Or we could just, you know, talk," Erin suggested, pulling her attention away from the window as she sat forward in her seat.

"Talk?" Michelle scoffed, staring at someone down the bottom of the carriage to keep her attention fully away from the conversation as she so wanted.

"Chip. Talk. Michelle. Talk."

"What we've got to talk about?"

"Ran out of things to talk about in 1991," Chip added softly as she flicked the page of her book over, eyes widening at the words on the next page.

Erin, sick of seeing her friends in an argument and the fact that it was constantly avoided, suddenly snapped and yanked the book from Chip's hand. She, while receiving a look of immediate hatred, slammed the book shut and let it fall to the table between them. "Why aren't you two talking?"

Ciara cleared her throat while Michelle just sunk further into her seat, both simply refusing to answer the question. Instead they avoided meeting Erin's eyes or each other as the silence of unanswered questions swallowed them whole entirely. No one prompted then, no one attempted to change the subject and in no way did either even think of confessing what was occurring. Fifteen minutes, by the count of seconds on James' watch by Chip. had passed before Michelle suddenly snapped. "She's riding James!"

"Michelle!" James snapped back, staring her down as both his and Chip's face began to readen.

"What in the hell is going on?" Erin blurted, her gaze snapping between the three of them rapidly and periodically. Chelle huffed then stood, walking into a completely separate cabin just to get away from the situation. James was quick to head after her and after sending Chip a reassuring smile filled with far too many conflicting emotions, disappeared into the other cabin too. "Are you really with James?" Erin asked softly while pushing Chip's book back towards her, recognising the need for a distraction within her eyes.

She nodded, gaze directed towards the door of the different carriage whilst her fingers curled over the corner of the novel, "Have been since the summer, I'm sorry for not telling you."

"You wanted to figure it out first before the pressure of telling us," Erins shrugged as if the action of hiding it was completely plausible and something that she would have done herself.

"Aye exactly," Ciara smiled softly, finally feeling as if someone understood until the guilt of it all returned in a swift punch that made her attempt to sigh it all away. "But Michelle saw us the other day and put it together, we had a huge argument because she saw our like first kiss and stuff... Asked me not to pursue it. And I feel so awful for doing it to her, the guilt is insane.... I mean I just couldn't not. And I'm aware that makes me a horrible person and friend. I just I... He's just... perfect."

"Explains your sudden happiness of the past few months," Erin responded, smiling softly with a look in her eyes that soothed some of Chip's guilt for just a moment. "Michelle will get over it eventually, Chip. We can all see he makes you happier than anything else has before."

Chip smiled softly and briefly, beginning to twirl her rings around her fingers as she replied, "Thank you Erin."

"And you're not a horrible person for doing something that makes you this happy."

-

"Michelle," James sighed as he attempted to grasp his cousin's attention once again. He had sat opposite her on her new seat on the train, about as far away from the group as she possibly could be. "You two just need to talk."

"Fuck no," Michelle snapped back, folding her arms as she stared out of the window. If they weren't on the train, surrounded by judgemental old people, she would have taken a cigarette from her pocket and smoked it and perhaps another on top of that. "Why'd you care anyway?" she sighed, completely checking out of the conversation as she went back to ignoring him.

He, noticing this, decided to continue anyway. "You're the only family I have and she.....She means everything to me and it hurts the both of you to be like this..." he trailed off, silently tapping his fingertips against the table.

She scoffed, looking back at him with tears swelling in her eyes, "And how would you know?"

"Despite what you think Michelle, I actually know you rather well," he began, voice softer than it had been before. "And you're not mad at her."

She snifled, wiping her eyes haphazardly with the back of her hand. "What am I then dickwad?"

"Scared you're going to lose her, but you won't. Because she's not like that and you know it deep down."

With that, James stood and left the carriage. He went back to the table before and sat down next to Chip, his hand reaching for hers under the table. She smiled softly and squeezed once, answering his unanswered question only now their hands remained clasped afterwards. Michelle looked down her own carriage and could just about see the two of them if she moved her head forward just a little. She could easily see it now, clear as day, how perfect they were for each other. Still the feeling of betrayal ran strong and deeply through her veins, it only grew once she spotted their clasped hands.