Basorexia - J.MAGUIRE

[3.59] poetry

The girls all lay in front of the television in Chip's living room, all strewn about on various sofas and a blow up bed, whilst the television blared out something none of them were really watching. Everyone but Chip and Erin had fallen asleep, given the late hour and soft snoring from Michelle spilled out into the dark living room. "Chip," Erin whispered, looking at Chip who sat on the sofa next to her. Chip had planned to go up to bed once everyone was asleep so she hadn't even changed into her pyjamas yet, not wanting to accidentally fall asleep downstairs on the sofa. She just couldn't sleep in that room, not after her Da had taken a nap and not woken back up from it.

"Aye Erin?"

She hesitated briefly and stuttered, "I- if I asked you a calorie related question, would that be like too triggering or anything?"

Chip shook her head, worry for Erin creasing her brow, "No, not at all, why?"

"Mammy's banging on about shifting weight for the dance tomorrow," she sighed in annoyance. Chip, after checking that she was not lying and wanted the information for another reason.

"Oh aye? Well," she cleared her throat, delving into the part of her mind that housed all the now useless information. "If you were to jump up and down on the spot for an hour straight you'd burn something like... five hundred calories. Which is about, given that you'll have about five hours left in the day before they'd have to be at the dance if they woke up at a normal time. Five hundred times five, plus a couple cups of tea which is about seventy five with the milk... Not anywhere near a pound. If you added in exercise, and I mean extensive exercise, you'd probably bump that up a little bit but it all depends on how you hold your weight and such. Mainly you would just be losing water weight, if you stopped drinking tea that is. But you'd not really get a lot outta five hours, so they'd just start feeling completely rubbish and gross by the time the dance rolled around. There's not really a lot of damage to be done from just an evening. Are they going to be eating anything?"

"Satsumas," Erin responded, astonished at Ciara's ramblings.

Chip chuckled softly, brow furrowing, "Why satsumas?"

She shrugged, "Mammy said something about it being the least calories or something."

"She's wrong on that one."Erin nodded hesitantly and turned back to the tv. Once Erin had fallen asleep, Chip creeped out of the room and up the staircase to her own bed and slept with the thoughts of calories swirling in the pool that was her mind.

-

The following day, Ciara sat on her bed working on some poetry. Her skin felt warm from the sudden sun, the smell of the flowers in the garden hung heavy on her skin despite the fact she had showered only moments ago. There was, however, a strip of her skin on her back that had gone without suncream and ended up burning despite the fact she had only spent maybe an hour in the garden.

Damn ginger genes.

The pen moved so quickly against the paper that the side of her left hand was inky from smudges that, thank god, did not ruin the paper of her journal or her writing. As her phone rang, she momentarily paused to pick up the phone and held it in her right as she lifted it to her ear. "Aye?"

"Are you busy?" James' voice came through her phone, sounding statically and distant. The emotion in his voice had her putting the pen and journal on the side of her bed, giving him all of her attention.

"No, not at all. What's wrong?" she asked while winding her hands around the phone cord. Having taken off her rings to shower, she didn't have her usual coping mechanism so quite literally grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on.

He hesitated, almost stammering, "Nothing, I just..."

"James," she almost whispered, freezing up as she distantly heard his sniffle down the crackly phone line.

"I just wanted to hear your voice, that's all."

Ciara climbed off the bed and reached the furthest that the phone line would allow, managing to pull a thin jumper from her wardrobe that would cover everything but not cause irritation to the burns on her back. "Do you need me to come over?"

"If you're not busy..."

"Five minutes," she responded softly in his silence, picking up her glasses from the side where she had placed them before showering. She could see her journals fine enough, hers was more of a long sight issue. So, given that she was planning to drive, the glasses were necessary. It was only a fifteen minute walk but she could just tell that he didn't want to have to wait that long, he needed her as soon as humanly possible. James hung up the phone quickly after her response, unable to say anything else. She ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, quickly putting a few freshly made cookies into a tub before she tugged on her boots and grabbed her keys from the dish in the hall.

Ciara didn't know if he was fit to answer the door, nor did she know if the back door had been unlocked, so she took the easiest option and climbed through his bedroom window. James, who lay in bed, only looked up to check that it was her, before he lay back down. She kicked off her boots, put the cookies on the side, then climbed into the bed with him in the space that he had created by lifting his arm and the blanket. "Careful of the sunburn on my back," she whispered as she laid down next to him. His arm, which had been headed to its usual place around her middle, drooped lower to the small of her back so he would avoid the painful spot altogether. He sighed deeply as she nestled her head into his chest, knowing it was something that bought him some comfort for whatever reason. They were completely still for a short while, Ciara traced shapes on his arms whilst James tried desperately not to fall into the pit he felt himself on the brink of. "Did you want to talk about it?" she asked softly as she moved her head from his chest, finally looking up at him.

"No. Not really. Just... homesick I guess," he responded, voice horace and full of a pain she wanted to take away. She knew what homesickness meant for him, as they had discussed it before. She held him tighter and pressed a kiss to his jaw, finally noticing the great bags under his eyes. It looked like he honestly hadn't slept the night before and perhaps hadn't slept right for days, she wondered how she had not seen the signs beforehand.

"Oh I bought you cookies too," she whispered after a few moments, smiling softly at the momentary glint of James that returned to his dull, teary eyes.

"You didn't have to do that, or come over here. I feel bad," he mumbled but still held her close, hoping and silently praying that his words would not send her away.

She looked up at him, gaze soft and full of so much love that it only increased how safe and comforted he felt by her presence. "I would go to the end of the earth for you, you know that right?" she whispered with a soft smile, truly meaning every single word.

"That might be the cheesiest thing i've ever heard you say," he muttered in reply, a discrete smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"I'm in a poetic mood," she chuckled softly, watching as his eyes fluttered close. She felt his entire body release the tension, tense muscles loosening as they did before he slept.

"I love you," he muttered, so obviously half asleep that it brought a smile to her lips.

"Love you more J."