Basorexia - J.MAGUIRE

[1.11] sheep

Chip had been called to Michelle's house rather abruptly on a saturday evening. She had hardly heard any words coming from her friend but knew the tone of voice and instantly ran over, packing a bag before as she knew it was likely an instant where she would be staying the night. Michelle often, when her Mam was working a night shift, got into such a mentality that she would not want to be at home alone. Chip had thought they would stop with James' presence in the house but clearly they had not.

Ciara did not know how to describe these states, she only knew how to fix them. Company. She and Michelle both shared a hatred for being alone with their thoughts and that was partly why they considered each other their best friend, because they spent so much time together when the others were busy. Chip was always Michelle's first port of call and Chip's Michelle.

As darkness started to flood through Michelle's open window, that they had both been smoking out of previously, Michelle asked the question that Chip had known was coming. "You want to sleep over?"

"Didn't bring a bag for nothing," she chuckled, pausing briefly before she continued. "I'll have to ring Mammy though."

"Go ahead," Chelle replied with little hesitation. Ciara climbed down from the windowsill that she had been sitting on then walked downstairs to where she knew the phone was, smiling at James when she passed him on the stairs.

Her home phone took two rings before it was answered. Her brother's voice echoed down the phone, the distant sound of all his friends hiding behind it. Suddenly she was rather glad to have been invited to stay over. "Cal is Mammy home?"

"No she's out with Luica," he responded quickly, whispering something to somebody behind the phone.

Ciara sighed, "Can you tell her I'm staying at Chelle's tonight?"

Her brother snapped out of whatever whispered conversation he was having and solely focused his attention onto his sister, concern ringing clear in his voice as he asked, "Why are you staying at Michelle's?"

"Friend drama," she responded softly, not wanting James to overhear her lie and think something was actually wrong. She just thought that excuse was the best one to use so she would be able to stay over and her Mammy would not call her home, as she had done once or twice before.

"Oh aye. Sure I'll tell her. Have fun."

"Night Cal. Make sure you actually get some sleep tonight."

"Yeah aye, I will. Night Chip."

-

At around two am, Ciara found herself in the kitchen sipping a glass of water. She struggled to sleep anywhere but her own bed, not trusting that the people around her would not check for certain things during the night. It was an odd situation because she trusted Michelle with her life, and was beginning to trust James in a similar sort of way, but that anxiety ridden part of her mind could not stop repeating the concerns despite how hard her mind reasoned with them. She didn't mind not sleeping though as Chip favoured the night to the morning. She liked the quiet, the stillness. The knowledge that not alot of people in Derry were conscious at that moment and she could pretty much do anything without them seeing. She loved the stars and the moon when it showed through the clouds but most of all she loved the chilling night air. The gentle cold breeze that managed to worm its way into bedrooms through cracks in windows. It was everywhere, inescapable.

She stood there for a half hour, listening to the wind against the windows and the soft scuttling of animals that used the night as a shadow from anything that would hunt them. When suddenly, creaking from the stairs echoed through the house. She looked up from the window just as James walked into the kitchen, hair tousled from lack of sleep. "What're you doing up?" she whispered, feeling it was only right to speak lowly at night. She did not want to disturb the created peace, nor Michelle upstairs who was a real monster in the mornings.

"Couldn't sleep," he responded with the following stifled yawn, suddenly feeling marginally embarrassed about his matching pyjamas.

"Homesick?"

He nodded as he took a glass from the cupboard. For a moment, the only sound was the water from the tap spilling into the glass which he held. Then, after a few sips from the glass, he wondered aloud, "Want to go for a walk?"

"It's half two in the morning," she laughed softly, not quite believing that he would have wanted to leave the house at that time. Truthfully, Ciara had been toying with the idea of going for a walk ever since she had gotten downstairs. She just did not want to go alone.

"So?"

Ciara looked down to the glass in her hands to hide the grin that pulled on her lips. "I'll go get a jumper."

-

After putting on a few layers but still keeping her baggy pyjama bottoms on, Chip and James began to walk. They did not have a destination nor direction in mind and the streetlights had already flicked off, casting them in complete darkness apart from the light emitted from the torch James persisted on bringing. "You mind?" she queried softly, lifting a cigarette into his view so he would know what she was talking about. Some people did not like the smell or simply did not want to be around someone who was smoking so she always made sure to ask.

He shook his head, watching as the trees around them swayed gently in the cold, black air. For once, the stars and moon were visible overhead. "Go ahead."

Silence became them as she took the first few drags, savouring the feeling of the nicotined air filling her lungs. The chill of the wind had started to get to her just a little, not to the point that she shivered but to the point that she could feel the bite of it. She wondered how he was not cold, given that he had only put on a jacket over his pyjamas. "Anything you wanted to talk about?" she asked, trying her hardest not to press the information out of him. She knew how awful it was to be in that situation so kept her query light, as if he could reply with anything and it would answer the question.

"My mum rang back," he sighed deeply, finding the confession of his deepest inner thoughts easy.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise, having fully expected that he would not hear a word from her for a long while. By the look on his face, and what she could see of it due to the darkness that surrounded them, she was almost reluctant to ask the question she knew had to come. "And?"

"She's... sending the rest of my stuff over," he murmured, stuffing his hands into his jacket pocket as if he did not know what to do with them. Ciara only distantly heard his reply but it still sent the same wave of emotion through her as it would if she had clearly heard every word.

"Oh..." she trailed off, not quite knowing what else she could say. She couldn't think of anything that could possibly be a comfort in such an awful situation. "Did she say anything else?"

"No. It was, 'hi James. I got your messages. I'm sending your stuff over, should arrive in a few days. Talk to you soon'. Couldn't even get a word in."

"That's horrible," she muttered while changing their direction so as to not head towards the nearest pubs where the drunks were just about to be kicked out of. Ciara knew her way around in the dark and knew from experience that no one would want to head in that direction at this time of night.

"It's not like I want to go home now anyway, I mean at this precise moment in time I'd rather stay here. But it's... I mean it's home. And I do miss it...Can we talk about something else, anything else?"

"There's a sheep in the middle of the road," Chip deadpanned, having stopped in her path as soon as James finished talking.

"What?" he blurted, bewilderment ringing ever so clear in his voice. Ciara burst into laughter and pointed to the sheep which was currently staring at the both of them, not moving an inch. Suddenly, it bleated loudly and both James and Ciara found themselves laughing uncontrollably - the late night giggles as they are so named by teenage girls.

Chip and James returned back at around five in the morning after spending a couple hours trying to redirect this lost sheep back to its fencing. It was completely chaotic, full of laughs and ended up with the both of them watching this grateful sheep return to its home.