The Last Time

9

Wish You'd Miss Me - Chase Wright

Liam calling me last night was nice. However he sounded agitated. I have a feeling he was just checking who I was with and what I was doing rather than calling because he wanted to. This hurts to think about so I try to push it to the back of my mind, It's my first day at my new job and I'm so nervous. I haven't really had a lot of contact with people for so long. I hope it doesn't blow up in my face. I get up extra early and shower. I borrow my mum's hairdryer and straighteners and make an effort on my hair. I don't know why but it does make me feel better. As I look at myself in the mirror I decide when I get my first wages on Friday I'm going to buy a box hair dye and change my hair.I'm bored of it, it needs a new life. I root through my old make up bag and find a blemish cream and some mascara which I apply. I see flickers of my old self in the mirror and it lifts my spirits slightly. I put on my uniform and I was right it is baggy and so I swap the black trousers that wont stay up for my black leggings and I tie a bobble around the bottom of the top and tuck it underneath, It'll do.

"You look lovely" My mum's standing in the kitchen pouring me a fresh orange juice and I take a long swig.

"Thank you, I'm nervous" She places some toast and chocolate spread in front of me and I eat the lot. My appetite has been the best it's been for a while since being back home but she was always good at feeding me up. I can't ever say a bad word about her cooking, it's amazing.

"You'll be fine, what time are you working until?" She sits opposite me at the table.

"I'm not sure. I start at ten so I think probably four thirty. I'll know more after my induction today I guess" I shrug. I probably should have asked. They initially said it was morning hours but since looking at the contract she sent over email it stated more hours.

"Well give me a text when you know and I'll come get you" My mum works from home. She's a financial advisor and therefore picks her own hours, it must be nice to do that.

"You don't have to, I don't mind walking" Luckily my old phone charger worked in this phone otherwise it would have been dead by now. I have no idea what I would have done then.

"Just text me Kallie" She gets up and leaves the room before I can say anymore.

The walk to work was so refreshing. The fresh air. The birds. The freedom. It felt amazing. I haven't felt like that in so long. When I got there I took a deep breath before walking through the door and when I do I'm instantly terrified. It  is packed. Every single table. I rush over to the counter and see Mrs Riley busy with customers. She greets me with a quick wave and I don't know what to do. Do I stand and wait or do I go sit in the back? I decide to use my initiative and dump my coat and bag behind the counter. I clear the tables that are finished and sweep up any mess. I mop up a spilled drink and by the time I'm done Mrs Riley has the line under control and everybody is seated.

"Sorry about that. Sometimes we get a flurry. You really got stuck in!" She has such a warm smile which makes my nerves melt away. She continues to show me around. She shows me where everything goes and how to work the coffee machine.

"Just concentrate on tables today. Basically what you did when you got here and once you're used to it. I'll train you on the till okay?" All the while she's talking to me she's working or doing something and I'm following her around trying to take it in. I wonder how old she is because she's so fast. She's a little bit taller than me but plump with graying hair curled on top of her head. I do what she said and spend my day clearing tables. Tidying,Emptying bins and taking table orders. They serve hot breakfast and warm cakes and puddings. So it's not too complicated. I also bagged up some vegetables and fruit as people come in to buy the fresh produce. As the day goes on it gets quieter and eventually there's only a few tables left with company. One with a couple chatting over a coffee and iced bun and one with a woman reading alone, I notice shes reading 'The Host', brilliant book.

"So how are you finding it?" Mrs Riley pulls out a chair at table close to the till and offers me a seat. I sit and she pours me a drink of home made lemonade.

"Amazing. It feels so good to be working again" I'm smiling a real genuine smile and it feels strange but so good.

"Bless your heart. Has it been long?" She doesn't come across as nosy just genuinely interested in getting to know me.

"Just under two years I guess" I look down at my lemonade and she notices.

"Been a tough two years?" Her voice is so raspy, but I can tell shes kind.

"You could say that" I offer her a smile and I see the empathy behind her eyes. But it doesn't annoy me like everybody else's. Maybe because we don't know each other.

"I hope this is the start of better days for you then" She stands and rests her hand on my shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. What a lovely lady. I've never felt such a calmness from a person like her before.I finish at four thirty like I thought and when I get outside to text my mum I finally see my phone for the first time since this morning. I notice the forty eight missed calls from Liam and begin to panic. Then I scroll through all of the messages he has left.

-Where are you?- L

-I knew you couldn't just fucking wait for me- L

-KALLIE!!! ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE I SWEAR TO GOD- L

-I'll come over there- L

I quickly press call and ring him back. My phone was on silent all day.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He immediately spits down the phone.

I make up a lie that I have been spending time with my mum and my phone was on silent.

"Don't you dare lie to me!" He is still shouting and very clearly wound up to the point of no return.

"I'm not lying!" I slightly raise my voice to get him to listen to me.

"Don't fucking speak to me like that you little bitch! Get your fucking arse home now. We need to talk about this in person!" I can here him banging things around. I am not going back today just so he can hurt me.

"I'm sorry. I'll be home at the weekend" I'm not ready and this surprises me that he wants me back all of sudden. I don't want to go, not yet. But if I don't will he forget about me and really move on for good, I just want a few more days of peace.

"I didn't say the weekend Kallie. I said NOW! I mean it." I hear him punch something and I flinch out of habit at the noise.

"Liam, If i come now my mum will ring the police. I'll come when she is out of the house okay? I promise" He hangs up and I throw my phone in my bag in frustration. My mum still isn't here so I sit on the brick wall outside of the cafe.

"Anything I can help with?" Mrs Riley strolls up next to me. Please say she didn't hear all that.

"Not really. Just relationship stuff" I shrug, hoping she wont question anymore.

"I wont ask. It's not my business, but this is a safe place. If you ever need one, not that you do but just in case" She smiles an awkward smile and I thank her just as my mum pulls up, I say goodbye and that I'll see her tomorrow.

 The drive home takes ages because of work traffic and I realize it would have been so much quicker to walk but we drive in silence after she questions me about my day. I don't know if I should tell her about going home on Saturday and in the end I decide I should. I can't just leave and not say anything.

"Liam called...We decided to try again and I'm going home on Saturday" I can't look at her but I feel her anger radiate next to me.

"Please don't do this Kallie. You're going to ruin your life chasing that waste of space boy" She reaches over to me while still driving but this time I have to shrug her off. I have to go home.

"I want to go mum. This is the last time. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work but I have to try. I don't want the last two years to be a waste" My voice is small and I know she doesn't understand. I'm not sure I even understand why I want to go back.

"You don't want to waste the last two years but your willing to waste even more time, people like him don't change" She's calmer than I thought to be honest but I don't reply after this and we drive home in silence. When we get there I escape to my room as soon as possible.