The Last Time

78

Hold On - Chord Overstreet

3 Months Later

Scott

Saying goodbye to Kallie and Gabriella was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I guess I knew that she wasn't being honest. I knew it was going to be longer than just a month. I don't know how but I knew. The way she looked at me that day in the hospital before getting into her mothers car. The way she hugged me just a little tighter than she ever has. The way she was so patient while I cradled Gabby before placing her in the car seat. She knew she was going away for longer than a month.

I felt betrayed and so angry when a month came and went and I still had not heard a word from her but by the end of month two I really tried to let them both go. Which seemed impossible at the time.I miss them. I only spent such a short time with Gabby but it felt like so much longer when I spent most of Kallie's pregnancy feeling her kicks and kissing her bump.

I've tried ringing. I've tried looking in the places I know she likes in town. I even tried to find the cabin but I couldn't. I couldn't find either of them and when I asked her mother for help she turned me away and said "My daughter needs time alone. Please give her that". How can I argue with that. If time is what she needs then she can have it but how long can she expect me to wait? I guess I'm scared that I actually would wait as long as it took.

My parents are used to these people from abusive relationships coming and going, disappearing and reappearing but I know Kallie was the hardest one for them to lose contact with and she's the only one I've ever gotten close to. She was special to them. They really welcomed her into the family and made her like a daughter to them and she up and left them to like they meant nothing to her. It doesn't affect my Pops as much but I know it really hurt my Ma. She gets tearful whenever Kallie is mentioned and I know she is worried to death that she is back with Liam. Even though I've reassured her so many times that Liam is still behind bars and will be for the next few years at least. His appeal got rejected, thank god.

I have been trying to keep busy on the Farm. I've been working from sunlight till sundown and then at night I work out in the garage sometimes for hours. My body is aching but not as much as my heart. I never told Kallie that I loved her. I never just asked her to be mine because I was afraid of the rejection. I wish I could have told her.I can't even think about seeing other girls even now after three months of nothing from the only girl I want. I've had enough opportunity to move on but the thought of her coming back and me being with somebody else makes me feel sick. I know I can't wait forever but I'm just not ready, not yet.I think about Gabriella every single day. Multiple times a day. Is she smiling yet? Is she sleeping through the night? Does she still have a full head of perfect light hair? Have her eyes changed color? Will she remember me if I ever see her again? That little girl might never be mine biologically but I really wanted to be a part of her life. We shared a special bond.

"Morning Son" Ma walks into the kitchen and immediately turns the kettle on. I'm sat at the table eating cereal. Its barely light outside and I have a busy day tending to the animals and cleaning out all of their pens. My weekend work. What an exciting Saturday.

"Morning. You're up early" She turns to look at me and looks concerned. I get the anxious feeling in my stomach.

"I'm going to see Kallie today" I almost spit my cereal out and I can tell she was nervous to tell me so I try and not be annoyed that I'm only hearing about it now. I ask her where she is seeing her and she says that Kallie is visiting her mother and asked Alison if she wanted to come over while she is there. I almost ask if I can go to but I know my Ma wouldn't allow it.

"Do you think she's coming back?" I ask, suddenly no longer hungry.

"She isn't son. She is just visiting her mum" She places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I wasn't sure if I was going to go after what she has done, but I figured we should know if they are okay at least and she called me practically begging for forgiveness".

"I guess" I get up and put my bowl in the sink and walk out of the kitchen. My mum calls me as I do but I don't stop. I need to get to work.