The Last Time

43

Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum

"It's okay, it's okay" I'm hyperventilating in the back room at work. I can't breathe. My chest feels like it's going to explode. I'm so embarrassed to be like this in front of Scott but he won't let me go. He's wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders whilst I sob into his chest. His hand repeatedly strokes the back of my head and he's shushing me like a baby. Liam was so nasty. So vile. He said those things like he didn't want anything to do with the baby, which is fine by me but I'm still scared to death of him changing his mind. I have to keep this baby safe.

I decided to keep it because I couldn't go through with a termination. Babies are a blessing and while I don't judge women who go down that route. It's just not for me. I can be a good mother. I know I can. I can break those generational curses on my own without a partner. Without doing it the proper way. I will do it. This baby will have a great life. A life full of love. A life with a mother who adores it and creates a safe place. Damn am I terrified of failing. I eventually cry myself out and calm down and Scott leads me to the sofa and sits me down. He hurries around getting me a drink of water. I watch him from my spot on the couch. This man is going to make someone extremely happy one day. He's amazing. He's caring and kind and so handsome. You can tell he was really raised right and respectful. I adore this family so much but especially Scott and Alison.

Alison had the day off today. She's been helping Peter on the farm. This is their busiest season and apparently she's much better at organizing the workers than Peter is as he just likes to do it himself. So Scott has been taking her place in the Cafe. It's been so funny watching Emily fluster over him. She has the biggest crush and Scott absolutely realizes and winds her up.

"What did he say?" He asks sitting next to me on the couch. He rest his hand on my knee and I can't help but concentrate on the heat of his hands.

"He basically said I can keep my mistake and that I'm a fat bitch. Lovely things as usual" I sip the water and instinctively cradle my tiny growing belly.

"How can he not see how beautiful you are?" He replaces a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiles so sweetly. My tummy flutters at the unfamiliar touch and I blush. Trying to disguise my blushing I stand and dust myself off. He stands to and follows me back outside. That was weird, but sweet but still weird. We can't blur these lines. He's my friend and even though I find him incredibly attractive I would never go there. He's Alison's son. The rest of the shift I avoid his eyes but I notice him watching me. Not in a creepy way, just kind of keeping an eye on me. He doesn't let me lift anything or over do it. He moves things out of my way. He's so caring and protective more so now I'm pregnant. He always gets to my door before I do and opens it for me. He asks what I want to listen to on the drive to and from work. I'm just a friend to him and yet he always puts my needs before his own. Imagine what he would be like as a husband. Sophia is an idiot. I'm still so confused by what she did to him and I know it hurt him. We spoke about it a lot. He misses her but refuses to chase after her now the trust is broken.

"Sooo I've seen there's a live music event just outside of town this weekend and I think you should come with me so I don't have to go alone?" We are driving home in his truck. The windows down. Hair blowing behind me. His arm resting on the door as he drives effortlessly. Kodaline playing on the radio.

"What kind of music?" I look over at him and see how intently he watches the road. Always checking his mirrors. Never going over the speed limit.

"Basically a bunch of Indie bands do like an open mic night. It's coo. I went last year but my buddies can't make it this year" He smiles at me and waits for an answer. I can't even remember what kind of music I like.