Purdy love? (boyxboy)

CC

ANDY POV-

Two weeks and CC has woken up once only to fall back asleep again. That was 6 days ago. At least we know he's fighting to get out of his long sleep. Jake will not leave CC's side and whenever Ashley and myself get there he's still there and we can't help but feel bad for him. My bruise has healed almost fully. Ashley still feels really bad, I really did forgive him it's what happened I know he didn't mean it. Jinxx is always with Jake but leaves to shower and eat. I also heard Ashley sobbing last night when he thought I was asleep. His big broad shoulder shaking. His sad shakes is what woke me up. His messy hair covered in tears. I couldn't do anything for him and I felt helpless so all I did was do what he has done for me so many times. Hold him while he sobbed. He allowed me to wrap my arms around him. He cried into my shoulder for hours. I couldn't help but let a fear tears slip from my eyes. "It'll be okay" I tried to reassure him but I don't even know if it's gonna be okay.

Now we walk through the corridors of the hospital walking into CC's room we hadn't discussed last night at all. I hold his hand tight and squeeze it when he slows down. "Ashley, babe lets talk" is all I said stopping making him stop. His brown eyes looking so sad and scared. "Last night?" I ask finally he tenses up and stares back into my eyes. "I lost all my strength" he admits. I nod my head letting him know he can continue, "I hurt you Andy, I hurt CC and if he dies I'm unsure if I can handle the fact that...one of the last things.." He said looking down. "I've stuffed shit up all through this relationship, that's all CC has seen of this relationship" he says shaking like he's crying but the tears haven't started. "I want him to see happier times" he starts to cry again and I let him fall into my grip. "Ashley, I wouldn't still be here if you had stuffed up the entire relationship" I say into his hair rubbing his arm.

Families walk past us and smile sadly. Nurses and doctors do the same thing. "I believe that we all fall down, sometimes" I sing a song I wrote a few months ago through our holiday. "Can't you see that we all fall down, yeah,"
I whisper. Ashley doesn't stop crying but he's stopped shaking. "Let's go see the boys now" I whisper looking for his hand and taking it.

We get into the room Ashley has stopped crying which is good but his eyes are puffy and red. His hair is messy. His nose is runny. "Oh, Ashley what happened?!" Jake says letting go of CC's hand to tend to Ashley it's the first time in weeks that I had seen CC in this bed without Jake beside him holding his hand. When I look over to Ashley and Jake. Jake is telling Ashley something but I decide to not go find out what it is. Sitting on the other side of CC I observe his face. The bruises and a few of the cuts have healed but there's a few deep one that we know might scar. CC will not be happy.. I laugh at the little scenario in my head about CC's reaction when he wakes up and sees his beautiful face scarred.

We leave the hospital with Jinxx. I'm gripping onto Ashley and Jinxx just watches us. He's never seen my strong Ashley cry. Or need my hand and shoulder to help him through the day. To be honest it's scaring all of us and we need CC to wake up. I can't handle Ashley being sad forever. We need to be together as friends and lovers forever.

I get into the car and wait for Ashley to get in when he does I instantly take his hand in mine again and squeeze it tight. "I'm so sorry babe" I say looking at him he looks over. "What will we do Andy?" He asks looking into my eyes. I open my mouth as if I was gonna say something but I don't say anything I'm frozen and I have no idea what to say. So I just reply with "nothing, we have nothing to worry about" and start the car.

Finally getting home Ashley doesn't say anything to me he just gets up and walks inside waiting for me at the elevator and when we get in he doesn't talk to me. The elevator dings telling us to get out. He walks ahead of me until we get the door. I unlock it and we walk in. I watch him walk farther and farther away from me until he is out of sight. I have a long needed cigarette leaning over the balcony looking around me.

By my third cigarette I feel cold. Usually Ashley has told me to either stop or came out here and wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm. But he hasn't so I throw out my cigarette halfway done and walk inside. Grabbing out stuff for dinner. "Ashley dinner babe" I say. No response. I guess I could let him rest for a bit it's been a big few weeks.

Dinner is on the table hot. "Ashley!" I say for the 10th time. I get up from the table and walk into the bedroom finding no Ashley. I check under the bed just in case. My legs shaking and a funny feel in my stomach I run to the bathroom swinging open the door.

I find Ashley in there sitting on the toilet his pants down to his ankles I look up and I see blood. Everywhere all over his thighs. I look up and see the shiny metal of a blade and blood on his hands. I look up his body further. When I meet his face I see hand prints of blood on his face and streaks of it through his hair. Tears rolling down his face at high speed. "Holy shit!" I say running and landing on my knees in front of him instantly grabbing at the toilet paper beside me and wiping up the blood and getting him to put pressure on it while I get som bandages out. "Why ashy?!" I say genuinely worried for him. He looks me in the eye. "You did it to try get rid of pain didn't you?" He says. Not as if to tease my weakness. But as a question. Ashley is trying to get rid of hi pain. I wrap up his thigh and I rub all his blood off of his hands and his face. "Have a shower" I say pulling his pants off for him and turning around to let him get dressed. While I wait I turn on the shower for him and then I turn around and surely enough he's now naked. There's nothing sexual though. Realising I pointlessly bandages his wound I undo them again with a sigh and I help him into the shower. "Wash up" I say and walk out throwing the food I cooked into the bin.

When Ashley is out and bandaged and all dressed I take him to bed after turning off everything. I get in with him again and he turns around in bed to ask me a question "how do I get rid of this pain Andy?" He asks me. I think for a minute then I face him again. "Every time you want to cry or scream or..cut" I say and grab his face. "Just kiss me, aged or soft, I don't care just do it" I say once again not trying to eat sexual with him. But whenever I was upset Ashley's kisses would make it all better. I hope it works the other way around. I feel his cold hands on site he side of my face and then his lips on mine kissing me hard. I feel his hot tears on my face. His lips are the first ones to move than mine. After our kiss he grabs me and hugs me. "I live you so much Andy, you've helped me so much today and I can never thank you enough" he says. I'm happy he's stopped crying. So so reply "I'm only doing what you have done for me 100 times too many" I say and this time I kiss him myself. He kisses back though. I am the one to initiate the tongue.

That night we don't do anything sexual we just kiss. I'm pretty sure ash was just letting tears go. I'm just kissing him because I live him and his strength has been so strong so I'm okay with him falling down. As long as he gets back up.

JAKE POV-

I look over my boyfriend. I haven't showered in 4 days. I can't shower. What if he wakes up? It feels cold. He looks at feels dead. There's no worst feeling then seeing your beloved boyfriend of 11 months lie in front of you. Asleep. Machines and wires surround him and hanging off of him. Knowing that technically he is dead. He's not doing anything himself. Feeding himself. Breathing. I continue to stroke his hand hoping that this will somehow wake him up. Good news is I haven't cried in a few days. Probably because I've cried straight for a few days.

It really did hurt me to see Ashley in so much pain yesterday. A man I've only ever seen help people and hold them when they need it was crying. Sobbing. Yesterday into my shoulder.

Looking over at CC again I kiss his cheek for about the 1000th time. "You need to wake up baby, we're nothing" I admit. My first confession to him. Well first chat. The rest has been prayers to God and him which is just for him to please wake up the day. I miss walking though any door to be greeted by his happy smile. I miss his kisses, his hugs, his laughs, his personality..I miss him. I love him.

"We miss you baby" I whisper.

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HELLO
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