𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ✓

~ 8.

>> eight – again <<

— — — ———————— — — —

— – IT'S BEEN two days since the 'incident'. Jason and Kath were still on bad terms, but they were helping eachother with the cases they had taken from me. Kath still had to go to work obviously but she popped round when she could. Of course, I wasn't allowed to be Cirrus. Jason and Kath might argue a lot but they have one shared ideology; Amellia can't be Cirrus until full healed.

Jason was still being Red Hood, kicking bad guy ass while I was practically being spoon fed all my food. I don't need this much help.

I'm capable, just in pain.

My hand has finally healed though, just stings a little to move and pick up things. Alfred says the bullet damaged my nerves. Awesome, just what I fucking need. I can't even pick up coffee without it hurting. And I couldn't hold coffee without it falling or nearly slipping. It's like I had melted butter for a hand.

And my side was no better. Surprisingly enough I hadn't popped the stitches whilst eating or doing the minimal amount of exercise to maintain my muscle. I can't go back into being Cirrus rusty and limp. I also just need something to do. I couldn't sleep and bearly ate. I don't even know why and it frustrated me. I had a scab over where the stitches were and it was hard not to pick at it.
The scar on my hand left a pretty little deformed star for me to obsess over. And not for good reason.

I kept seeing her. The woman whose 'brother' (Jason told me) I killed before her eyes. She was everywhere. I kept hearing her in my nightmares. And my scream. And the pain from hand to side. The blood on my hands. I couldn't shake it, no matter how much I tried to distract myself and others tried to help.

I don't hate her for what she did. I don't even loathe her. I understand what she did was for her own good reason.

But so was mine.

I was doing my job.

She was grieving and angry at me.
Understandable.

I had to do something right now, or I would go insane. So, I decided to get a shower. Clean myself off. Both mentally and physically. I smelt and looked like a run down, shit filled barn. My hair hurt at the amount of grease that was soaked into it. I had to wash off.

Alfred helped me into the shower, being as respectful of me as he could. Best man ever. When he left I stood bleakly in the shower. Not doing much. Thinking about nothing. Just stood there. It stung every time water rushed over my side and hand.

Another downside to damaged nerves; heat and cold sensitivity. Also bloody amazing.

I tried my best to do the normal things people would do in the shower. Wash my body and hair. Stare into nothing until you remember you're in the shower and still have shampoo in your hair.

I could still hear her.

My scream.

The blood.

My breathing quickened and my heart beat sped up. I was gasping for air. Not now. Not now. Not now. I leaned my back against the cold wall and put a hand on my chest. Not now. I wanted to scream for help, but my lack of breathing or too much of it stopped me. I still couldn't calm down. I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. I have to calm down. Not now. Calm the fuck down. I reopened my eyes and nearly screamed my lungs out at the blood stains travelling down the shower curtain. Hands grasping at it. They all screamed at me. I covered my ears, still breathing quickly and heavily. Not now. My eyes were shut tight. I still couldn't breathe. I screamed. And screamed. And screamed. Until my jaw hurt.

"Mia!"
"Amellia!"

Two voices shouted for me. I opened my eyes, still covering my ears. No hands. No red. Just Katherine and Jason. And, no more Jason.

Katherine turned the shower off and held my arms, gently pulling me out of the shower. I went along with it. I collapsed onto the bathmat and she went down with me. I couldn't hear what she was saying. The side of my head stung from where my nails had dug in. She was making breathing motions with her hands. I followed, shakily, but I followed. She grabbed me a towel and laid it beside me. I let my hands off my ears only hearing ringing at first, then her soothing voice.

"It's okay, Mia. Whatever happened isn't real. It's okay." I nodded, still getting my breath back and wrapping the towel around my shoulders. Her hand started rubbing circles on my back. I leapt at her and cried into her shoulder. I gripped at her t-shirt. She hugged me back, still rubbing circles in my back.

"It's okay..."

— — ——— — —

I slipped into my oversized Robin t-shirt and sat on the edge of my bed. Katherine was stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you." I looked up at her. Her eyes were watery and her bottom lip was shaking.

"I'm sorry for making you do all that. You didn't have to." She smiled weakly and wiped a stray tear.

"If I did nothing, I would regret it forever."

"Heard that one before." I grinned, she chuckled and pat my shoulder.

"You're sure you'll be okay alone? I could ask to move my mattress in here to keep an eye on you." I sighed and shook my head, patting her hand that rubbed my shoulder.

"I'll be okay now. It was just a small scare, honestly. I've been through worse."

"You can say that again." We laughed. She sighed and nodded, walking to my door. She hesitated when she opened it.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"Thanks for saving my life that day. Two years ago when you met bastard in the other room. Cirrus inspired me, you know? To help people in my situation. Just not beat them to death with a bat." She chuckled and left before I could say anything else.

Her. That was her I saved.

I knew I recognised that curly hair.

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1061 words
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