Painful tears

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"Fine" I said. I stormed off, crying.
"Becky, wait" I heard Linda calling.
"Leave her, L. she's being childish." I vaguely heard mick suggest.
I ran upstairs, into the kitchen where my phone had been waiting for me for 3 days.
"I'm just not wanted, nor needed in anyone's life right now" I whispered to myself, reading the new hurtful messages that made me self harm last time. I was shocked to see the horrendous messages from my old mum.
"Haaha, you ran away? Good you stupid cow! Never wanted you anyway, neither did your actual mum. just do everyone a favour and commit. kill yourself you ugly bitch NOBODY WANTS YOU HAHA".
I collapsed onto the kitchen table and thought about everything. it's true. they never wanted me. neither did Shirley, obviously. mick and everyone downstairs don't want me, I'm just in the way of everyone I spoil everything. just as I finished my thought, I heard everyone downstairs in hysterics. I haven't heard them laugh like this before, maybe it's because I'm not with them. I was suddenly calm, understanding what I want right now. I stood up, leaving my phone on the side I opened the draw where I took out a peice of paper and wrote:
"To whoever reads this,
My life hasn't been anything good, and it will never be. I've experienced things I shouldn't of seen and I've done stuff I shouldn't of done. I just want to let you know, whoever you maybe, that I do love you, I love all my family even in the short time I've known you we're family. I've ruined your lives and it's quite obvious nobody wants me, and I don't blame you. I don't know if you've thrown this away or if you're still reading this but yes, this is a suicide note. I hope the best for baby Oliver and everyone's future, just please, let me go.
I love all of ya. Becky xxx"
I shed a tear that lands on this painful note I left besides my phone on the kitchen table. I took 16 tablets in my hand and swallowed them one by one and left the cup that I drank from next to my note and phone. I quickly made my way to my bedroom, locked my door, laid down and hoped that dying isn't so painful.

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