Agent_Mothman's Paranormal Log (Invader Zim)

ENTRY 20 - A HAMSTER-GEDDON (CAUSED BY ZIM)

Friday, September 7th, 5:25 PM

I thought things couldn't get any weirder.

They did.

For some apparent reason, Ms. Bitters thought it'd be a good idea to get us a class pet. It was a small hamster they named "Pee-Pee". I wish I was joking. Who names a hamster that?!

When Zim saw it, he screamed and backed away. Do I even need to say anything at this point? He tried to play it off and say it was cute (I had to say that's what humans thought about it, since he didn't know the word "cute". What goes on on his home planet for him to not know the word "Cute"?!)

Well, he must've done something the night before today, because when we got to Skool this morning, it had a giant alien device strapped to its back. Zim was clearly doing something at his desk, messing with some sort of alien device. Then the hamster got out and destroyed a couple desks before going into the city and trying to eat stuff.

I just looked at Zim and said,

"Anything you'd like to confess?"

Of course, he went...

"What?! No! Don't be silly!"

But the hamster started to grow to monstrous size. Like, MONSTROUS. This thing was HUGE! And it started eating buses and stomping on buildings. I just decided to stay downtown to figure out how to stop it, when a few minutes later...

Zim's spaceship crashed near me, and he was knocked unconscious.

This gave me an AMAZING opportunity to capture him and expose him. Once and for all. But if I did that, then there'd be no one to stop the hamster-Zilla. I could try, but Zim actually knows how to stop him. And has the tech to do so.

I guess I spent too much time thinking about what to do, because he woke up and began to ride away on his robot, before I called out,

"Wait! Zim! Promise me you're on our side this time!"

He turned around, and stared at me with an angry look, before he responded...

"I know not of sides, Earth stink. But for once I agree with you, the Hamster must be stopped."

So me and Zim had a temporary truce. Which felt weird, but we both knew we'd need each other's help to stop this giant monster.

Finally, I saw some military guys trying to shoot it down, so I ran to their tent, and tried to talk to them. An observation I made was that the more it ate, the larger it got. But I wasn't sure how to keep it from eating. And when they asked me how to stop it, I told them that, since I genuinely didn't know how to stop it. They kicked me out after that.

But then, they noticed Zim's ship. He was trying to put something on the hamster to stop it, but they thought he was being evil, and started shooting at Zim too. I tried to warn them that he was a good guy for now, but they stuffed me in a "crazy bucket".

Eventually, Pee-Pee was defeated. Zim kinda just strapped a bunch of rockets to him and shot him into the sky, but hey, at least he was defeated. Then he went back to picking on me. So...victory?

Today was very strange, so I'm going to go watch the new episode of Mysterious Mysteries. Agent_Mothman signing off.