Agent_Mothman's Paranormal Log (Invader Zim)

ENTRIES 29-31 - THE BOLOGNA INCIDENT

Friday, September 21ssklt, 6:05 P.M.

Remebert when I said that I wanted someawthing exciting to happen?

Yeah, I'm regrettin;og that now.

(Alsol, sory that the letters are getting mixed up. I'm starting to run out of pages in thuios journal, so I've been typing the entries on online documents and printing them out so I can jsut jlksstick them in this journal .)

WELl, today, something ABSOLUTELY wild hapoppened. I'm going to try to type more precisely now.

Yesterday afternoon, at lunch, I decided to mix things up and as I saw that Zim wasn't eating his lunch (like always, I suspected it was a weakness), I threw a piece of Bologna at his head. He ran off screaming as it got fused to his head. It was gross, but also kinda funny. Everyone kept picking on him all day, and it was hilarious.

Also, I think I discovered ANOTHER weakness. Meat!
He has the same reaction to meat as he does to water. Only, water has a much worse reaction. The bologna only made his skin burn for a short 10 seconds. The water is way more fatal. When I hit him with a water balloon during The Wettening, he could barely get off the ground he was burning so badly. Zim is interesting. His species has many interesting and unusual weaknesses. Though I think he found a way around the water weakness. He hasn't been bothered by it since the Wettening.

Until he swore vengeance on me. I wasn't too worried about it, since his plans usually backfire.

But right after that, he put a tack on my chair as I sat on it. That doesn't sound too bad right? I didn't think so either. It was a really pathetic way of "swearing vengeance". Especially for someone like him.

I didn't really worry about it, since it didn't seem like that big of a deal. Until this morning.

I tasted delicious.

Now that statement sounds really wrong out of context, but I recognized the taste. It wasn't a weird human-y taste. Not like I know what that tastes like! I...ugh, this is really hard to explain without making me sound absolutely nuts. I promise I'm not crazy.

Anyway, it was really strange. I tried not to worry about it, hoping it would go away, until dogs started chasing me this morning on the way to Skool. I couldn't figure out why. And then they REALLY chased me, and kinda attacked me. Not in a brutal way, but I was pretty beat up when I came into Skool. Which for some reason amused Zim a lot. One of the dogs had bitten me, and when I tried to get the little bit of blood to go away, I had this strange taste. It was strange...

Then, everyone said I stank. After I was practically shoved into the bathroom and tried to wash it off, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, and why it wouldn't go away. Until the tack fell out of my pocket and poked me again. I knew that taste. It was so familiar.

Then I noticed the tack.

It looked like it had been modified somehow, like someone put something into the tack. So, I pulled out my laptop and tried to do some research.

ZIM was behind this.

I asked the computer if it had a foreign substance in the tack, to which it did. And my skin sample had the same substance. Zim had used a foreign DNA sequence and gotten something inside of me through the tack. But what was it?! What was causing this strange taste and stench?! Until I saw the source...

BOLOGNA.

ZIM INTRODUCED BOLOGNA DNA TO MY BODY!

AND I HAD BEEN FUSED TO IT!

I WAS GOING TO TURN INTO BOLOGNA!

I NEEDED to stop this before it got out of hand.

I stared Zim straight in the eye. I yelled that I knew what trick he had done until he just ignorantly said...